07-18-2015, 07:11 PM
We stepped outside just in time to see Durril ride away towards the first guard's post. I tried my best not to watch him, but my eyes would wander every couple of seconds. I could only pray that Blaine wouldn't notice. He seemed to be occupied with informing the stable boy that he had put the saddle on incorrectly.
I was helped into my saddle by Blaine and we began to make our journey the opposite way that Durril had gone. I had to admit that I felt slightly disappointed, but also relieved that we wouldn't see him along the way.
"You should come with me to Mureal next I am summoned." Blaine suddenly announced when we reached the forest's edge.
"Is it safe for a lady to travel in these times?"
"Mureal is in the center of Seria, there are few attacks so far inland. Some of the other advisors bring their wives and I am given room that could accommodate six people." He grinned, "There is a nobleman's bazaar close to the castle that many of the wives go to. They normally form a group and go with two or three guards from the castle. That is when their husbands are working, of course. There are many beautiful sights in Mureal that I could show you."
I shrugged still not certain.
"Have you ever been?"
"No, I spent all my life in Requanar. My journey here was the first time that I had left."
Blaine smiled, "Then you must go. I believe you would enjoy it."
"We shall see when the time comes."
"Fair enough." He stopped his horse and looked up, "It will definitely need to be rebuilt for our own children."
I looked up into the tree and could see the weathered gray wood of the small shack in the tree. There were wooden boards nailed into the tree to be used as a ladder.
Blaine dismounted and began to climb up.
"I don't think it's safe." I warned him. Right after which, one of the boards gave way and fell to the ground.
He jumped down and grinned sheepishly, "It was worth testing. Well then, what should we do since our plan has been foiled?"
I dismounted, "We could walk around the forest. See if we can become lost."
"I know these woods better then my own bedroom. I spent most of my life investigating them. Becoming lost in them would take some doing."
I grinned at his boast, "You could pretend for me and scare me."
"By telling me to do so, you have ruined the jest."
"I'll forget that I mentioned it soon enough." I took my horse's reigns and we began to walk side by side.
After we talked more on my garden and why I had started to build it, Blaine reached out with his free hand and took my own. It felt uncomfortable at first, but slowly I became use to it.
We eventually came to a small bridge that went over the stream that lead to the lake. "Durril and I use to fish here when we were boys. Our father didn't allow us to take the boat out on the lake without him. Of course, we only ever caught small fish here and would always release them." Blaine tied up our horses so we could stand on the bridge.
"The stream on my father's estate didn't have many fish."
He nodded, "Yes, I remember you telling me that sometime ago."
I kicked off my shoes and sat down on the side of the bridge. My feet hung over and into the warm waters. Blaine grinned at me before doing the same. He sat down directly beside me so that our thighs touched. We sat in peace while we watched the water rush past our feet and the occasional fish.
"Do you remember the kiss we shared by the lake?" The question startled me.
"Yes." I replied but did not look up to him.
His hand found my own and pulled them into his lap to rest on his thigh. "I told you that I wanted to see if there was any attraction between us." He waited for me to respond so I nodded. "It was another one of my lies. I just wanted to kiss you and I didn't know how to go about doing so. I felt an attraction the moment my eyes first laid upon you and I felt guilty for it. I told myself… no, I told Maita that I would never love another woman. I suppose that I lied to her as well. I am a pathetic knight, am I not?"
I looked up at him and frowned, "When you spoke it the words were true and heartfelt. You did not know what the future would hold."
"Doing these things with you still brings guilt to my heart, even though I know that you are my wife."
"Such things need time. Like my garden. I wanted the flowers to bloom the first day, but I knew that would not happen. I have to nurture the seeds, care for them, and prove that I want them to grow in order for them to." I jumped down into the stream and it stopped mid-thigh. "Little deeper then I thought."
Blaine laughed, "What are you doing?"
"Having fun with my new friend." I informed him.
"And how is that fun? Don't splash me." He said sternly after I splashed him for the first time.
I ignored his warning and splashed him again.
"Don't splash me." He repeated, but I didn't listen.
Blaine jumped into the water and began to splash water back at me. At first, he seemed intent on punishing me with large, powerful swipes of his hand. Then he must of realized that it was a game and the splashes became more gentle.
I stepped back to get away from one of his attacks and my foot found a smooth stone. I slid and fell into the water. When my head popped back up, I inhaled a deep gust of air and looked at Blaine. He was standing dumbfounded with his mouth slightly open, when he realized that I was alright he chuckled.
"That is not funny." I growled, but he kept laughing.
In retaliation, I stood up and charged him. He was too busy laughing to see me coming and I jumped on him. Since he wasn't prepared for my weight, he went under water with me. When we came up, we both inhaled deeply and the look in Blaine's eyes told me that he wasn't pleased. Instantly it vanished to be replaced with a childish look of bemusement.
"You will pay for that." He jerked forward to grab me, but I swam away too quickly.
We played a game of catch me if you can for a couple minutes, before Blaine tricked me into going the wrong way. He lurched forward and wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up in the air. My back was pressed against his chest, but he continued to lift me until I was sliding down into the water behind him.
I stood up in the water and he caught me in his arms again. "You fiend!" I teased and tried to push him away.
"Now we are all wet. What will we tell Leora?" He said as he lead me out of the water. He had changed back to his serious self again and I knew that for a brief moment, I had released the real Blaine within.
"Does it matter? We had a little bit of fun. I think Lord Blaine Stavros is entitled to some fun once in a while."
He sat me down on the shore and sighed before sitting down beside me.
"We can go find a sun patch and lay out to dry if you insist." I suggested and he said nothing. "Or we could shake our bodies like dogs do and…"
"Do you take anything seriously? Playing in the water like that isn't proper for a knight, a duke… or a duchess for that matter."
"Be damned with proper!" I barked in a friendly tone, "We had fun and no proper restrictions will stop me! We harmed no one!"
Blaine tried not to, but in the end he grinned. "I suppose we didn't. But we should keep it a secret between us. No point in the whole household knowing about this."
"They might figure it out from the wet clothes."
"No, we will find that sun patch and sit out in it all day if we have to."
I frowned, "Aw, I was rather hoping for the shake like dogs plan."
Blaine was laying on his back when I rolled over to my side and smiled, "Front almost dry?"
"Almost." He answered. His eyes were closed and his right arm was behind his head. "Yours would be too, if you didn't keep sitting up."
"They just need to appear dry then we can sneak upstairs and change into dry clothes. It won't make anyone suspicious. One should always change their clothing after riding."
His left hand grabbed some of my dress to test how dry it was. "I doubt that will pass."
"It's thick material. Maybe if you let me run around in pants…" I watched as his brows came together and I laughed. "Alright, dresses it is."
"Did you really wear pants until you were fourteen?" He opened his eyes, "Durril told me."
"I did." My elbow was resting in the grass and my face was in my hand. "People use to tease my father and say I was meant to be born a boy."
"If you had things would have been easier for me." He sighed, "I apologize. I keep bringing this horrible situation into our topics. It's just on the forefront of my mind."
I nodded my head sympathetically and laid back down on my back. Right afterward, Blaine propped himself up on his elbow. "I do apologize."
"What do you want me to do, Blaine? None of this was my doing. It was a deal made between our fathers long before either of us were conceived. Would it make everything better if suddenly both me and Maita's husband died?"
"No, no. She… she loves her husband." He swallowed, "That was what we were arguing about all week after the wedding. I know that you saw us. She loves him, but also felt that she was betraying me by doing so."
I turned my head to look at him, "I don't understand. If she loves him and is married to him, then she is betraying him by continuing to love you."
He nodded, "You are right."
My face turned back to the sun before I sat up. Blaine sat up with me and took my hand.
"And I betray you by loving her." He started to run his index finger over my knuckles. Tracing a couple of scars on my hands, he grinned. "You really did play rough when you were younger, didn't you?"
"I play rough now."
I watched as he ignored my joke by bringing my hand to his lips and kissing each scar. "I wish I could kiss the scars that I've created in your heart. The ones of distrust towards me. I swear here on this ring that I gave you that I will forever be honest with you. That the vows that I took on our wedding day will never again be betrayed." He looked up at me, "I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first for you." He spoke a condensed version of our vows.
I took my hand from his and placed it on his cheek, rubbing my thumb gently over the stubble on his chin. "I don't believe the love part, but perhaps in time."
He shook his head, "No as your husband, my love can only be for you. I refuse to love any other." With that said he leaned towards me.
His lips brushed mine as if he were testing my reluctance. Then they pressed firm against my own and brought his hand to my face. Soon his fingers found their way into my strawberry blonde locks. The firmness of his grip startled me and I grabbed his forearm to give myself a sense of control. He began to push me backwards, his kiss becoming more urgent and forceful as if he was trying to prove something to me or himself. His tongue licked my bottom lip before disappearing back into his mouth. It returned seconds later to find its way between my lips. Some burning desire deep within me forced my mouth to open and accept his affection.
By this time, I was laying down in the grass and Blaine hovered over me. He used his tongue to coax my own into his mouth. I was both aroused and startled when I felt him move over me and place his knee at my thighs.
"No." I turned my head away.
"Only kissing." He said breathlessly, "I am just trying to get in a more comfortable position."
He didn't give me time to respond and only pressed his lips against mine again. I was only too eager to begin anew our contact. His knee pressed against my thigh once more and I opened them for him to settle down between them. One of his hands was still in my hair, but the attached elbow was holding his weight off me. I think I sighed when his other hand found my breast and I felt him grin under my lips. My arms wrapped around his neck and my fingers explored his back and ruffled his hair.
His lips parted from my own and kissed my chin then followed my jaw line up. I felt his hand that was formerly on my breast move down my body and begin to pull up the skirt of my dress. His kisses distracted me as they made their way down my neck to my bosom and he kissed the parts of my breast that showed.
I didn't know how we went from speaking of his former lover to being in such an intimate embrace. I had expected we were about to argue again, but he seemed dead set on proving his desires were only for me. No man had ever been with me and I was not going to allow it to happen here in this meadow, even if it was my husband.
"Blaine…" I began to say, but his lips immediately rushed mine as if to silence me. It worked well and I had forgotten what it was I was worried about. That was until I felt his hand on my inner thigh and his manhood pressing against my other thigh. I didn't know what to do, he did say that this was only going to be a kiss. I knew that this was going a lot further then that. My mother hadn't left me completely ignorant as to what would happen on my wedding night. Of course, my older married brother also enjoyed sharing stories with my other brothers when he thought I wasn't listening.
When I felt his hand moving upward towards my womanhood, I thrust my hands against his shoulders as hard as I could. "Blaine, stop!" I demanded and continued to push.
He released me and sat up. I could see both the annoyance and frustration in his eyes as he sat up between my legs. I scooted back away from him to sit up myself. He must of thought I was scared, because his eyes turned to sympathetic. "I apologize. I was carried away by the moment."
I stood up and brushed down my dress. "I am your wife and you have every right, but please not here."
Blaine remained on his knees with his hands on his thighs for several moments. When he finally stood, he said nothing. He began to head towards our horses and I assumed that he was satisfied with how dry our clothes were. As we rode towards the manor it remained quiet. I wonder if I had disappointed him or hurt any of the progress that we had made that day.
When we reached the manor, he went to his study and I was left to my own devices. Thankfully, Durril hadn't returned yet, so I went to my room to read more on gardening.
It seemed every time I turned the page, I would catch the scent of Blaine on my person. I looked at the tub in the corner of the room. Kerani would heat me a bath up in a half an hour and I would be rid of my husband's scent, but I wasn't sure if I disliked it. The thought that he was only thinking of Maita as he touched me made me want to remove it. Then I thought of his words before he kissed me. How he would only love me from now on and refuse all others.
Jumping off my bed, I walked out into the hallway to find Kerani. As I walked down the hallway, Durril came out the stairs. Without even asking if I wanted to join him, he grabbed my upper arm and pulled me into his bedroom.
He pressed me between the door and his own body. "I can't stop thinking about you and our last kiss didn't help matters."
"Durril, I can't be caught in your bedroom." I whispered. "Blaine is just downstairs."
"Blaine left as I was coming in."
"What? Where did he go?"
He shrugged, "He wasn't with any knights, so I assume he'll be back before sundown." He began to kiss me and as much as I didn't want to, I pushed him away.
"No, Durril. I am sorry that I kissed you today, it was a mistake. It was wrong of me. I am married and I vowed to be faithful to my husband."
His forehead dropped to my shoulder, "One moment you want to be faithful to him and the next you are smothering me in your kisses. I don't know what it is that you want."
"I want you to act as if I am your sister, understand? Your flesh and blood sister. If I ever try to kiss you again, just shove me away, please."
"You know that if you kissed me again that I do not have the strength to deny you." He took a step away from me.
It took all the strength that I had to turn my back to him. I opened the door and strode out into the hallway as if I had nothing to hide.
On my way down the stairs, I saw Blaine enter into the manor. I sent prayers to the heavens for my restraint with Durril. Just imagining what could have happened if Blaine caught us together sent a tidal wave of shivers up my spine.
In Blaine's hand was a small bouquet of daisies that I had seen growing near the lake. When I reached the bottom stair, he approached me and offered the flowers to me.
"A small apology for my behavior." He said as I took them from him.
"Thank you. They are lovely. But you need not apologize, as I said as your wife you have the right. I just… not our first time in the open."
He shook his head, "No, I said only a kiss and then I tried to make it more. I am a very honest man, but yet I can't seem to stop lying to you."
"You were caught in the moment, it was not a lie."
"I knew that I wanted more even as I told you that it would only be a kiss."
"Well, thank you for the flowers. Have you seen Kerani? I need to bathe." I didn't need to tell him that last part, but it slipped past my lips before I could stop it.
"She and Endre went into town for some supplies."
"Oh." I sighed and headed up the stairs, but Blaine grabbed my hand.
"Allow me, please."
I rose an eyebrow, "Allow you to do what?"
"Wait in my study, I'll summon you when it is ready."
I didn't know what he had planned, but I walked into the study as if I trusted him and waited. It seemed like a half hour past before he opened the study door and gestured for me to follow him.
When we reached his bedroom, my nose was filled with the scents of lilacs and gardenias. The tub in the corner had steam rising from it and there was a small basket beside the tub with several different soaps. I thought Blaine would leave me to cleaning myself, but when he locked the bedroom door with him inside, I knew he had other ideas.
He began to take the pins from my hair and had apparently found my hair brush. He brushed out my hair with firm gentleness and when he was satisfied laid the hairbrush on one of the chairs. I swallowed hard when he began to unlace my corset. My dress fell to my feet within seconds and all that was left were my shoes and bloomers. Coming to stand in front of me, he kneeled down. I didn't see him even attempt to look at my breast. He removed my shoes and then walked around behind me to remove my bloomers. Just like Kerani would undress me.
The feelings I had were a mix of excitement, fear, and embarrassment as Blaine walked over to the tub to wait for me. I made my way over and climbed the step ladder. My hands tested the water first and it was the perfect temperature. I stepped in and settled my body down.
Blaine reached down to pick up a washcloth and a bar of scented soap. He wet the washcloth and then rubbed the bar of soap between it. When there was enough suds, he placed the soap back in the basket and began to wash my shoulders and back.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked when the cloth grew closer to my breast.
"To gain familiarity with you and to apologize further for everything that I have done. If need be, I will be your servant until you forgive me for my transgressions." His voice was soft.
"Isn't this something one should do after familiarity is already present?"
"Perhaps, but nothing we have done together has been by the book." He lifted one of my arms and washed it before doing the other.
Bending over he pulled a small cup from the basket and filled it with water before emptying the water slowly in my hair. When he was satisfied that my hair was wet enough, he grabbed the bar of soap again and began to lather up my hair. He then rinsed it and began to wash me with the cloth again. Normally, I would have stood to have my legs and backside washed, but I remained in the water.
When he was finished, he picked up a towel and opened it so he could wrap me up when I stepped out. As soon as I was standing in front of him, I lifted my arms and he tied the towel around me. He then took another towel and dried my hair and limbs. After which he fetched me a new pair of bloomers and a dress. He helped me dress and then kissed my lips gently when he was finished.
"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. I'll be down shortly." He told me.
"Alright." I responded and began to walk towards the door. When I turned to shut the door behind me, I witnessed him removing his shirt. He too was going to bathe, but his bath would be alone.
Dinner felt awkward. Blaine was being exceptionally kind towards me, while Durril stared at me with a mixture of confusion, lust, and anger. Perhaps it was more jealousy towards his brother then anger.
Every time my hand rested freely on the table, Blaine would scoop it up. It seemed every other time he did this, he would place a kiss on my knuckles. This behavior caused Durril's nostrils to flare. When he finally had enough, he left the dinner table with only half his food eaten.
Blaine knew there was something wrong with his brother and excused himself from the table to speak with him. I was left alone for the remainder of the meal including dessert. After spending my entire day with Blaine, I was more then willing to be alone for a short time.
When my meal was over, I was ready to go to sleep. Kerani knew that my bed time was nearing and had searched me out, though I would hardly need her services that night. Now that I was sleeping in my husband's room, it was uncommon for me to use a servant for clothing myself. Though I would most likely still have her dress me in the morning, because I had trouble tying my corsets.
"Do you want me to help you into your sleeping gown?" Kerani asked me as we approached Blaine's bedroom door.
"No, I can do this on my own." I said and opened the door, "Goodnight."
Upon entering the room, Blaine was already preparing the fire in the fireplace. Beside him was the stack of letters from Maita. He stood up when I entered and didn't sit back down until I shut the door.
I didn't question him, just went to my wardrobe and pulled out my sleeping gown. I could feel his eyes upon me, but I didn't dare look over at him. He was probably as shocked to see that I was changing in front of him as I was to do it. I pulled the satin tie of my dress behind my neck and began to unweave it down my spine. It was not an easy task to do alone, but I managed well enough.
When the dress was ready, it dropped to the floor and I picked it up and placed it on the bed. I, then, removed my bloomers and my corset. When I was totally nude, I tried to act as if it didn't bother me. I pulled the sleeping gown over my head and began to pull out my bun. When I walked over to the mirror, I took my brush from the bottom of my wardrobe.
I looked over at Blaine. He was kneeled down still, his eyes were wide and fixed on me. "What are you doing?" I finally asked him as I brushed out my hair.
He swallowed, "I am going to burn these in front of you…" His words were spoken slowly. "and prove that they are all sealed."
"I believe you. Good night." I mumbled and walked over to the bed.
Blaine jumped to his feet and grabbed my hand. "Please, this is important." He walked me over to the chair and kneeled down in front of the fire again.
He held up a letter and showed me the seal wasn't broken. When I gave a nod, he would toss it into the fireplace. I noticed the small metal box on his own chair, the one that held the dried rose petals. It only made me anxious as I knew that he was going to try and claim my body tonight.
When the stack of letters were all burned in the fire. We both sat silently and watched their ashes. I wonder what he was thinking and suspected that he regretted ever burning them. He jumped to his knees and walked on them over to me. Taking both my hands into his own, he rested both our hands on my thighs.
"Did that return any of your lost trust?"
"The same amount if Leora had done so."
He swallowed, "It was more difficult for me to do it myself, then to allow another the trouble. These past months, I have lived in secrecy and deceit. A lifestyle unbefitting a knight of my status or a duke. One should always respect his wife and I have not done so. I have not even sanctified our marriage by taking you in my bed as a husband should. Tonight that will be remedied, if you allow it."
I wasn't certain if he was asking me or telling me. When I didn't respond, he stood up and fetched the box from his chair. He kneeled back down and placed the open container on my knees.
"Do you remember when I spoke to you of my family's tradition?" When I nodded, he took a petal from the box and offered it to my lips. I took it into my mouth and he removed another petal from the box and ate it.
He closed the box and set it on the ground before standing up. Both his hands were offered to me, but I was afraid to take them. I knew that I wasn't ready for this, but I also knew that I would never be ready. I had been terrified the night of our wedding that this would occur and it should have then. I was in no position to deny my husband his right to lay with me, but I didn't want to go through with it either.
"I don't know if I am ready for this, Blaine." I said. He was just standing patiently in front of me with his hands out for what seemed to be an eternity.
Leaning over he picked up my hands and pulled me into a standing position. He placed my hands on his shoulders and stepped into me. His hands went to my hips before sliding around me to pull me closer to him. We stood pressed together until I was comfortable enough in his arms that I laid my head on his shoulder. I was exhausted from the day's excursions and just wanted to sleep now.
Blaine must of felt my body relax, because he moved away from me and picked me up into his arms. Walking over to the bed, he laid me down over the blankets then stepped back. He stood there patiently as if I was suppose to say something. I felt exposed under his gaze and so I did the only thing that I could think of. I pulled the blankets from under me and attempted to cover myself.
He grabbed the blankets and tossed them towards the end of the bed. One of his knees came down on the bed next to my hip and I stared at him. Watching his every move as if he were about to attack me instead of make love to me. He unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it onto the ground, before sliding his body up the length of my own.
Using his arms to keep his weight off of me, he looked into my face. "If you become scared, tell me. I will wait until it passes."
Which told me that he was going to do this no matter what I said. To answer him, I merely nodded before his lips pressed against mine. His kisses came gently at first. Small pecks to my bottom and top lips, then he kissed the corners, and when he had finished he started again. He then stopped and looked back into my eyes as if he were testing my expression. If it was one of fear, disgust, or passion, I couldn't say, but whatever he saw seemed to pull him in further.
His kiss became more passionate and needy. Though it wasn't strong, but more like he was begging for me to allow this. I then felt more of his weight settle on me as his arms released him and began to slid down my own arms. When he found my wrists, he pulled them above my head and captured them in one hand. I realized then that I had been pushing at his chest, trying to keep distance between us.
The hand that held my wrists twisted so he could rest on the same elbow. His other hand began to explore my body in ways that I had never had someone touch me before that day. He slowly pulled up my sleeping gown until my hips were uncovered and then slid his hand up my body to my breast. My nipples instantly hardened to his touch and Blaine groaned when he felt them react.
He positioned his body over my own and again I felt his knee on my thigh. I gave in instantly as I wanted this to be over, but I also wanted it to continue. I could feel heat growing in my abdomen like it had earlier in the meadow. When he was between my legs, he sat up. His arms slipped under my back and pulled me up into his lap, where he removed my sleeping gown.
My arms wrapped around his shoulders and my legs around his waist as we continued to kiss. His hands started to caress my shoulders then worked their way downward to my bottom. They then returned to my shoulders and pulled my arms away from his body, so he could lay me down.
His lips did not return to mine, but instead started at my neck and worked their way downward. He kissed and licked both of my nipples, then continued his venture downward.
"What are you doing?" I asked breathlessly.
His lips were still on the skin of my belly when he spoke, "This will be your first time, won't it?"
"Yes."
"I want you to feel pleasure before I cause you pain."
I had no idea what that meant until I felt his lips touch my womanhood. The new sensation that I felt as his lips kissed and licked my nether regions made my body shake with desire. Blaine had to hold onto my thighs to stop me from trying to push at his shoulders with my feet. His relentless kisses continued to build up heat within my belly until I was certain that I could take no more. My entire body shivered with a sensation that was both pleasurable and painful.
He didn't stop, only continued to kiss and suck at my now aching bud. It continued until the heat began to build again, he then stopped. Standing up, he removed his pants and for the first time in my life, I saw what I had only felt earlier against my leg. It was stiff and the look in his eyes told me of his arousal. He mounted me quickly as if he didn't want me looking over his body.
Lips were at my ears and he gently kissed my lobe before whispering. "This will hurt, Valora."
I felt his manhood at my entrance and at first only felt a fullness of pleasure. Then a wave of pain struck me so quickly from his thrust. When I gasped in agony, he stopped moving all together. His arms were wrapped around my shoulders and he held me tightly to him. So, tightly I could feel the small patch of hair on his chest against my own. My legs and arms instinctively wrapped around him as if to stop any more movement from him.
After several moments, he tried to move again, but the pain was still there and increased whenever he moved inside me. My arms and legs would tighten around him and he would hold motionless in whatever position he was in. He tried three more times and each time, I attempted to stop him.
"Let go." He said but his voice remained soft.
Afraid he would hurt me, I didn't want to release him, but I did as he had ordered of me. With a quick burst of pain, he removed himself from my body and rolled over onto his side of the bed. I thought he was angry with me at first until he wrapped his arm around me and brought my back to his chest.
"We will try again in a couple nights." He whispered and kissed my cheek before we both fell asleep.
"Is there something the matter?" I asked when she began to tie my corset too tightly.
With a quick yank, she shook her head which I barely saw from over my shoulder. When it was tied she spun me around. "I would have denied him. The adulterer did not earn his right to take you." She snorted.
"Earn his right? We are married, he has the right."
She grabbed my hairbrush and began to remove the knots in my hair before placing it in a firm bun. "You should have denied him!" Her voice lowered, "And lost your maidenhood to his brother. That is what he earned."
"To his brother?" I squeaked and she placed her hand over my mouth.
"Of course. The servants know that there is more between you and we have no intention of telling Lord Blaine. He deserves it as long as he keeps Maita in his heart." She placed the last pin in my hair.
My hand whipped across her face and left a stinging red mark. "Never speak of Lord Blaine in such a matter again. There is nothing between Lord Durril and I and there never will be. I am a married woman who has vowed faithfulness to her husband. How dare you or any of the servants speak otherwise!"
Kerani's head bowed after the initial look of shock pasted from her face, "Forgive me, mistress." She walked to the door and opened it for me. "Lord Blaine requests your immediate presence in his study when you have awoken."
I felt terrible having hit Kerani. That was not something that I had ever done before, but her words had infuriated me. As I walked past her, I knew that I would have to apologize to her later.
Making my way to Blaine's study door, I knocked gently on it and heard someone tell me to come in. Opening the door, I stepped inside to find Durril sitting in a chair in front of the desk and Blaine behind it. He waved for me to have a seat next to Durril and I did as I was asked. Having both men in the same room had caused me some discomfort, but I remained strong. I knew this couldn't be what I thought it was.
"I just received word that the king wants me to return to Mureal by the end of the week." Blaine began, "With the war at hand, there is much that he needs me for. He has estimated that I will not be able to return here for at least six months. I have left Durril in charge of my affairs and need to know if you wish to join me in Mureal."
I tried not to look at Durril's face as I knew if I saw his desire for me to say I would stay, that I would want to do so. "May I think on it for the day?"
He gave a brief nod, "I need the answer the day before so the servants can prepare your belongings."
Durril stood and bowed his head before he exited the room. I was afraid to leave in case he was waiting for me and so I remained seated. "Do you have much to do today?" I ask my husband.
"There is a great deal that I need to prepare for so that Durril is not overwhelmed while I am gone." He looked up to me then back down to the scroll on his desk.
"Is there anything that I could help with?" I scooted forward on my chair.
"Indeed there is." He stood up and handed me a letter that was on his desk. "Could you write six copies of this letter in your best handwriting? I need to send them out to other nobility in the area informing them that I will be away."
I smiled and took the letter from him, "Of course. I'll use the writing desk in our bedroom." I stood up and began to walk for the door.
"You could stay in here with me… if you wish." The words were spoken shyly. It was not a tone that I was use to Blaine using.
I turned back around, "Where would I write?"
He looked around the room, "You may use the desk. What I must do now doesn't require it and while we do that, I will have the servants bring a spare writing desk in. I have been meaning to do that for some time now."
With a grin, I came around the desk and allowed him to pull the chair out for me. When I was seated, I began to create my first copy and Blaine went to inform a servant that he wanted another desk in the study.
When he returned, he pulled a book from the shelf and began to read it. Occasionally, he would stop and come over to the desk to write a note down. He had needed the desk, but didn't want me to leave the room. I smiled internally when I realized this.
After a half hour, the servants brought a small writing desk into the room and placed it against the wall near the door. They had to remove on of the chairs, but Blaine didn't mind, he said they were never used. As soon as the servant left, I placed myself in the writing desk and Blaine returned to his desk. I saw him smile when I did so, as if he were pleased that he didn't have to ask me.
It took me the better part of the morning to finish the letters and when I was through, I realized that I had written one too many. "I wrote one more then was needed." I held up the spare letter and Blaine looked up with a humored grin.
"I'll have that one sent to my cousin." He pulled out his red wax and seal stamp. "Here stamp them with the family seal."
I folded the letters up properly then melted a small glob of wax over the opening. The small stamp would be pressed down into the letter to show that it had not been opened and prove authenticity. When I finished with the last one, I felt a shadow move over me. It was Blaine. He had come to inspect my work.
His hands rested on my shoulders and gently squeezed them. As a little sigh rolled from my lips, he stopped and turned my chair around. Kneeling down before me, his hands ran up my thighs and around my bottom. He laid his head in my lap and I began to stroke his hair.
"Six months will be a long time for our growing relationship to wait. It would please me beyond words if you came with me."
I brushed the hair from his forehead but didn't respond to his words. I knew that as his wife, I should jump at the chance to be with him. Yet, I knew that it would be six months alone with Durril and Kerani's words about the servants not telling had planted a seed in my mind.
"Valora, come with me." Blaine said when he realized that I wouldn't reply.
"I have only just become accustomed to living here. You know that I never left my own city when I grew up. It is strange to leave this place for another."
He rubbed his face against my leg and for a brief moment, I witnessed something that I hadn't seen before. Blaine was exhausted. Whether it was with the war, or the drama occurring with us, or perhaps both, I could not say. "I can not leave you here with Durril. If you do not come with me then I will hire a governess to watch over you. I do not believe that anything may occur, but my brother's will is strong."
"This has nothing to do with Durril." I lied, "If I stay here then I will submit willingly to your governess."
I felt his arms begin to tighten and I was pulled from my chair into his lap. My arms wrapped around his neck and he inhaled deeply at my neck. "Your words comfort me. I was afraid you would argue with me and then I might be lead to believe that there is more between you and Durril."
He looked up and began to kiss me. It wasn't long and passionate, but rather simple. He seemed to be portraying his happiness rather then any lust for me.
I smiled at him, "You should address the letters and I will give them to Leora."
His arms tightened around me when I tried to stand. "I want you to come with me to Mureal."
"You've said that already."
"Ease my mind, Valora. Say you will come with."
I arched an eyebrow, "I thought I already did so by saying that I would allow a governess."
"Six months is far too long for me. I may not rely on you now, but today I witness that in its making. I will not accept no as an answer." One of his hands slid up my backside to the small of my back.
"If you will not accept no, then doesn't that mean you are ordering me to go?" My question was met with the most devilish grin that I had ever witnessed.
"Of course not. I am only informing you that I will change your mind in anyway that I can."
I grinned back, "I'd like to see you try!"
The hand that was slithering up my back continued its journey until it reached my neck. He pressed against it to bring my face to his own which I did without much resistance. This time his kiss was passionate and I became the one seeking entrance into his mouth with my tongue. He denied me which only caused me to moan in frustration. I felt him smile and I shoved his shoulders back.
He was still smiling at me. "I think this will be easier then I expected." He said as I stood up and bundled up the letters on the desk.
I offered them to him and frowned. "Address these. I am done with you for the day."
There was a deep laughter coming from him when I exited the study. I was hungry for both breakfast and my husband, but at least one would allow me to forget the other.
Sitting in the carriage, I caught a glimpse of the passing farms outside. Normally, Blaine rode his horse with the other knights that were escorting us, but he had chosen to ride in the carriage with me. The knights didn't seem bothered by his choice, most likely due to it being a common occurrence when a knight brought his wife.
The past couple days had been long as our sleeping conditions were far less then comfortable. I had been given a tent to sleep in while most of the other knights slept in bedrolls. Blaine didn't appreciate being teased when he slept in the tent the first night with me, so he started sleeping in a bedroll with the others. The uncomfortable conditions had taken a toll on everyone, as no one seemed to be in a pleasant mood any longer. Not even I could pretend to be hospitable, which had caused some small arguments between Blaine and myself.
I sighed as I looked out the window, I couldn't wait to get to Mureal and walk around. The journey had almost been insufferable and I wanted some distance away from Blaine and the other knights. As Blaine seemed to be the leader of the group, he had taken on a rather dominant attitude towards everyone, but me especially. He seemed to want to prove that he was in control of me to his men, and when I acted out they all looked at me as if I was the one misbehaving.
Blaine looked out the window and then back to me, "We should be arriving within the hour." He told me before leaning back and returning to his book.
I had my own book opened in my lap. The trip had been long and we had to sleep in tents for the past week. I did not look forward to the journey back, but Blaine was use to making the long trip and didn't seem as exhausted as I did. Though, I didn't think he liked being cramped into the carriage with me, and would probably be happier in his armor on a horse.
"You didn't have to ride in the carriage with me." I told him, when I watched him adjust his legs for the sixth time.
He looked up from his book, "Perhaps during the return journey, I will alter from day to day."
I nodded, "I would like to purchase several books in Mureal for our return. I have read this book three times already."
His eyes fell on the book in my lap, before returning to my face. "I told you that it would be a long journey and to pack plenty of entertainment."
"I did not realize how long it would be. I thought this book would be enough, it is after all rather long. The thickest book in the library." I closed the leather bound book and held it up for him to see.
A glare of annoyance came over his face, "Do you think that I have nothing else to spend my money on? We have hundreds of books at home."
"A lot of good they do me here." I didn't understand why he had suddenly become angry with me.
"You'll just have to suffer with that one."
"You said that I would be going to the markets with the other wives. I don't see why I can't buy books with the money, instead of cloth or sweets."
Blaine pressed his lips together and frowned, "We have enough books at home and that's final."
My mouth opened slightly as I watched him return to his reading. I was about to argue when he suddenly looked up at me, as if he knew I was about to speak.
"I said that's final, Valora."
I quickly crossed my arms and while making a humph sound turned my eyes to the window. As the time ticked by, I realized that Blaine was still glaring at me. When I turned to face him, his eyes were fixated on me and his cheeks were slowly turning red. His leaned forward and lowered his voice before he began to speak.
"You will behave like a proper wife should, while we are in Mureal. That means knowing your place."
"And what is my place?" I hissed slowly.
"No arguing, disagreeing, and following the orders that I give you. I will not be seen as a fool who can not control his wife in front of my peers. Do you understand me?"
My eye narrowed, "And if I don't?"
"Then you can remain in your room for the remainder of our stay." Leaning back, he opened his book again. "I will not be shamed by your less then ladylike behavior."
I tried to ignore the anger that was welding up in my chest, so I returned my eyes to the window. Outside the carriage, I could see that many of the farms had disappeared behind us. Though there were several groups of people on the road with us now. I knew that meant we were coming close to the city.
Within the next ten minutes, we had past the city gates and were well on our way to the manor that Blaine kept. He had another set of servants that worked for him here, though he often took Endre and some other servants from the estate. I knew that Endre was driving the carriage, which had been something that upset Kerani until she discovered she would be accompanying me. She rode in the back of the carriage, as Blaine refused to allow servants inside the carriage. Several times, she had moved to the front to sit with Endre, but Blaine had yelled at her. He didn't believe a woman should ride up front. I felt embarrassed for Kerani, because when Blaine had yelled at her, it was Endre that had to translate. Had it been me, I would have softened Blaine's words for her, but Endre was sure to be just as harsh as his master.
As we approached the manor, I noticed that it was quite a bit smaller then the one back home. However, since Blaine normally was the only person to have short visits, he hardly needed a mansion. As we drew near, a small gate was opened by servants that I had never met. A small stable was almost directly to the right of the gate entrance, and there was a short path that led up to the door.
When the carriage came to a stop, Endre opened the door and Blaine was the first to step out. He offered me his hand and I was able to get my first good look at the small manor. Kerani jumped down from the back of the carriage and began to collect my belongings with Endre.
Blaine didn't bother to introduce me to any of the servants that were buzzing around. Instead, he went into the manor and left me outside. I followed behind him, once I realized that he was no longer with me. Kerani was being yelled at by one of the servants, not realizing that she didn't speak the same language.
"No, upstairs on the right! Do not leave them at the end of the stairs!" The dark haired middle age woman yelled.
Kerani stood with her hands folded in front of her and a blank looked on her face.
I translated the command to Kerani in a more polite manner, and she nodded before grabbing my luggage and heading up the stairs.
"Lady Stavros!" The middle aged woman chirped when I entered. "I had heard that you might accompany the lord on his next visit. I am Colina, the head…"
"You will not speak to my chambermaid in such a manner again. She deserves respect. If at anytime you wish for her to do something, then you will speak with either Endre or myself." I barked and headed up the stairs behind Kerani.
"Yes, milady. I apologize." I heard Colina say as I reached the top of the short stairway.
I was helped into my saddle by Blaine and we began to make our journey the opposite way that Durril had gone. I had to admit that I felt slightly disappointed, but also relieved that we wouldn't see him along the way.
"You should come with me to Mureal next I am summoned." Blaine suddenly announced when we reached the forest's edge.
"Is it safe for a lady to travel in these times?"
"Mureal is in the center of Seria, there are few attacks so far inland. Some of the other advisors bring their wives and I am given room that could accommodate six people." He grinned, "There is a nobleman's bazaar close to the castle that many of the wives go to. They normally form a group and go with two or three guards from the castle. That is when their husbands are working, of course. There are many beautiful sights in Mureal that I could show you."
I shrugged still not certain.
"Have you ever been?"
"No, I spent all my life in Requanar. My journey here was the first time that I had left."
Blaine smiled, "Then you must go. I believe you would enjoy it."
"We shall see when the time comes."
"Fair enough." He stopped his horse and looked up, "It will definitely need to be rebuilt for our own children."
I looked up into the tree and could see the weathered gray wood of the small shack in the tree. There were wooden boards nailed into the tree to be used as a ladder.
Blaine dismounted and began to climb up.
"I don't think it's safe." I warned him. Right after which, one of the boards gave way and fell to the ground.
He jumped down and grinned sheepishly, "It was worth testing. Well then, what should we do since our plan has been foiled?"
I dismounted, "We could walk around the forest. See if we can become lost."
"I know these woods better then my own bedroom. I spent most of my life investigating them. Becoming lost in them would take some doing."
I grinned at his boast, "You could pretend for me and scare me."
"By telling me to do so, you have ruined the jest."
"I'll forget that I mentioned it soon enough." I took my horse's reigns and we began to walk side by side.
After we talked more on my garden and why I had started to build it, Blaine reached out with his free hand and took my own. It felt uncomfortable at first, but slowly I became use to it.
We eventually came to a small bridge that went over the stream that lead to the lake. "Durril and I use to fish here when we were boys. Our father didn't allow us to take the boat out on the lake without him. Of course, we only ever caught small fish here and would always release them." Blaine tied up our horses so we could stand on the bridge.
"The stream on my father's estate didn't have many fish."
He nodded, "Yes, I remember you telling me that sometime ago."
I kicked off my shoes and sat down on the side of the bridge. My feet hung over and into the warm waters. Blaine grinned at me before doing the same. He sat down directly beside me so that our thighs touched. We sat in peace while we watched the water rush past our feet and the occasional fish.
"Do you remember the kiss we shared by the lake?" The question startled me.
"Yes." I replied but did not look up to him.
His hand found my own and pulled them into his lap to rest on his thigh. "I told you that I wanted to see if there was any attraction between us." He waited for me to respond so I nodded. "It was another one of my lies. I just wanted to kiss you and I didn't know how to go about doing so. I felt an attraction the moment my eyes first laid upon you and I felt guilty for it. I told myself… no, I told Maita that I would never love another woman. I suppose that I lied to her as well. I am a pathetic knight, am I not?"
I looked up at him and frowned, "When you spoke it the words were true and heartfelt. You did not know what the future would hold."
"Doing these things with you still brings guilt to my heart, even though I know that you are my wife."
"Such things need time. Like my garden. I wanted the flowers to bloom the first day, but I knew that would not happen. I have to nurture the seeds, care for them, and prove that I want them to grow in order for them to." I jumped down into the stream and it stopped mid-thigh. "Little deeper then I thought."
Blaine laughed, "What are you doing?"
"Having fun with my new friend." I informed him.
"And how is that fun? Don't splash me." He said sternly after I splashed him for the first time.
I ignored his warning and splashed him again.
"Don't splash me." He repeated, but I didn't listen.
Blaine jumped into the water and began to splash water back at me. At first, he seemed intent on punishing me with large, powerful swipes of his hand. Then he must of realized that it was a game and the splashes became more gentle.
I stepped back to get away from one of his attacks and my foot found a smooth stone. I slid and fell into the water. When my head popped back up, I inhaled a deep gust of air and looked at Blaine. He was standing dumbfounded with his mouth slightly open, when he realized that I was alright he chuckled.
"That is not funny." I growled, but he kept laughing.
In retaliation, I stood up and charged him. He was too busy laughing to see me coming and I jumped on him. Since he wasn't prepared for my weight, he went under water with me. When we came up, we both inhaled deeply and the look in Blaine's eyes told me that he wasn't pleased. Instantly it vanished to be replaced with a childish look of bemusement.
"You will pay for that." He jerked forward to grab me, but I swam away too quickly.
We played a game of catch me if you can for a couple minutes, before Blaine tricked me into going the wrong way. He lurched forward and wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up in the air. My back was pressed against his chest, but he continued to lift me until I was sliding down into the water behind him.
I stood up in the water and he caught me in his arms again. "You fiend!" I teased and tried to push him away.
"Now we are all wet. What will we tell Leora?" He said as he lead me out of the water. He had changed back to his serious self again and I knew that for a brief moment, I had released the real Blaine within.
"Does it matter? We had a little bit of fun. I think Lord Blaine Stavros is entitled to some fun once in a while."
He sat me down on the shore and sighed before sitting down beside me.
"We can go find a sun patch and lay out to dry if you insist." I suggested and he said nothing. "Or we could shake our bodies like dogs do and…"
"Do you take anything seriously? Playing in the water like that isn't proper for a knight, a duke… or a duchess for that matter."
"Be damned with proper!" I barked in a friendly tone, "We had fun and no proper restrictions will stop me! We harmed no one!"
Blaine tried not to, but in the end he grinned. "I suppose we didn't. But we should keep it a secret between us. No point in the whole household knowing about this."
"They might figure it out from the wet clothes."
"No, we will find that sun patch and sit out in it all day if we have to."
I frowned, "Aw, I was rather hoping for the shake like dogs plan."
---***---
We found a meadow away from the manor where no servant would come and laid down in the sun. Blaine told me more about Mureal and seemed quite intent on convincing me to accompany him. I think he was afraid of leaving me alone with Durril and in truth, I was afraid of being left alone with him as well.Blaine was laying on his back when I rolled over to my side and smiled, "Front almost dry?"
"Almost." He answered. His eyes were closed and his right arm was behind his head. "Yours would be too, if you didn't keep sitting up."
"They just need to appear dry then we can sneak upstairs and change into dry clothes. It won't make anyone suspicious. One should always change their clothing after riding."
His left hand grabbed some of my dress to test how dry it was. "I doubt that will pass."
"It's thick material. Maybe if you let me run around in pants…" I watched as his brows came together and I laughed. "Alright, dresses it is."
"Did you really wear pants until you were fourteen?" He opened his eyes, "Durril told me."
"I did." My elbow was resting in the grass and my face was in my hand. "People use to tease my father and say I was meant to be born a boy."
"If you had things would have been easier for me." He sighed, "I apologize. I keep bringing this horrible situation into our topics. It's just on the forefront of my mind."
I nodded my head sympathetically and laid back down on my back. Right afterward, Blaine propped himself up on his elbow. "I do apologize."
"What do you want me to do, Blaine? None of this was my doing. It was a deal made between our fathers long before either of us were conceived. Would it make everything better if suddenly both me and Maita's husband died?"
"No, no. She… she loves her husband." He swallowed, "That was what we were arguing about all week after the wedding. I know that you saw us. She loves him, but also felt that she was betraying me by doing so."
I turned my head to look at him, "I don't understand. If she loves him and is married to him, then she is betraying him by continuing to love you."
He nodded, "You are right."
My face turned back to the sun before I sat up. Blaine sat up with me and took my hand.
"And I betray you by loving her." He started to run his index finger over my knuckles. Tracing a couple of scars on my hands, he grinned. "You really did play rough when you were younger, didn't you?"
"I play rough now."
I watched as he ignored my joke by bringing my hand to his lips and kissing each scar. "I wish I could kiss the scars that I've created in your heart. The ones of distrust towards me. I swear here on this ring that I gave you that I will forever be honest with you. That the vows that I took on our wedding day will never again be betrayed." He looked up at me, "I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first for you." He spoke a condensed version of our vows.
I took my hand from his and placed it on his cheek, rubbing my thumb gently over the stubble on his chin. "I don't believe the love part, but perhaps in time."
He shook his head, "No as your husband, my love can only be for you. I refuse to love any other." With that said he leaned towards me.
His lips brushed mine as if he were testing my reluctance. Then they pressed firm against my own and brought his hand to my face. Soon his fingers found their way into my strawberry blonde locks. The firmness of his grip startled me and I grabbed his forearm to give myself a sense of control. He began to push me backwards, his kiss becoming more urgent and forceful as if he was trying to prove something to me or himself. His tongue licked my bottom lip before disappearing back into his mouth. It returned seconds later to find its way between my lips. Some burning desire deep within me forced my mouth to open and accept his affection.
By this time, I was laying down in the grass and Blaine hovered over me. He used his tongue to coax my own into his mouth. I was both aroused and startled when I felt him move over me and place his knee at my thighs.
"No." I turned my head away.
"Only kissing." He said breathlessly, "I am just trying to get in a more comfortable position."
He didn't give me time to respond and only pressed his lips against mine again. I was only too eager to begin anew our contact. His knee pressed against my thigh once more and I opened them for him to settle down between them. One of his hands was still in my hair, but the attached elbow was holding his weight off me. I think I sighed when his other hand found my breast and I felt him grin under my lips. My arms wrapped around his neck and my fingers explored his back and ruffled his hair.
His lips parted from my own and kissed my chin then followed my jaw line up. I felt his hand that was formerly on my breast move down my body and begin to pull up the skirt of my dress. His kisses distracted me as they made their way down my neck to my bosom and he kissed the parts of my breast that showed.
I didn't know how we went from speaking of his former lover to being in such an intimate embrace. I had expected we were about to argue again, but he seemed dead set on proving his desires were only for me. No man had ever been with me and I was not going to allow it to happen here in this meadow, even if it was my husband.
"Blaine…" I began to say, but his lips immediately rushed mine as if to silence me. It worked well and I had forgotten what it was I was worried about. That was until I felt his hand on my inner thigh and his manhood pressing against my other thigh. I didn't know what to do, he did say that this was only going to be a kiss. I knew that this was going a lot further then that. My mother hadn't left me completely ignorant as to what would happen on my wedding night. Of course, my older married brother also enjoyed sharing stories with my other brothers when he thought I wasn't listening.
When I felt his hand moving upward towards my womanhood, I thrust my hands against his shoulders as hard as I could. "Blaine, stop!" I demanded and continued to push.
He released me and sat up. I could see both the annoyance and frustration in his eyes as he sat up between my legs. I scooted back away from him to sit up myself. He must of thought I was scared, because his eyes turned to sympathetic. "I apologize. I was carried away by the moment."
I stood up and brushed down my dress. "I am your wife and you have every right, but please not here."
Blaine remained on his knees with his hands on his thighs for several moments. When he finally stood, he said nothing. He began to head towards our horses and I assumed that he was satisfied with how dry our clothes were. As we rode towards the manor it remained quiet. I wonder if I had disappointed him or hurt any of the progress that we had made that day.
When we reached the manor, he went to his study and I was left to my own devices. Thankfully, Durril hadn't returned yet, so I went to my room to read more on gardening.
---***---
I had forgotten that my items had been moved to Blaine's room, so I had to locate a dry dress in my new wardrobe. I was a little hesitant to start reading my book in my new bed, but decided it wouldn't reflect well if I hide in the guest room.It seemed every time I turned the page, I would catch the scent of Blaine on my person. I looked at the tub in the corner of the room. Kerani would heat me a bath up in a half an hour and I would be rid of my husband's scent, but I wasn't sure if I disliked it. The thought that he was only thinking of Maita as he touched me made me want to remove it. Then I thought of his words before he kissed me. How he would only love me from now on and refuse all others.
Jumping off my bed, I walked out into the hallway to find Kerani. As I walked down the hallway, Durril came out the stairs. Without even asking if I wanted to join him, he grabbed my upper arm and pulled me into his bedroom.
He pressed me between the door and his own body. "I can't stop thinking about you and our last kiss didn't help matters."
"Durril, I can't be caught in your bedroom." I whispered. "Blaine is just downstairs."
"Blaine left as I was coming in."
"What? Where did he go?"
He shrugged, "He wasn't with any knights, so I assume he'll be back before sundown." He began to kiss me and as much as I didn't want to, I pushed him away.
"No, Durril. I am sorry that I kissed you today, it was a mistake. It was wrong of me. I am married and I vowed to be faithful to my husband."
His forehead dropped to my shoulder, "One moment you want to be faithful to him and the next you are smothering me in your kisses. I don't know what it is that you want."
"I want you to act as if I am your sister, understand? Your flesh and blood sister. If I ever try to kiss you again, just shove me away, please."
"You know that if you kissed me again that I do not have the strength to deny you." He took a step away from me.
It took all the strength that I had to turn my back to him. I opened the door and strode out into the hallway as if I had nothing to hide.
On my way down the stairs, I saw Blaine enter into the manor. I sent prayers to the heavens for my restraint with Durril. Just imagining what could have happened if Blaine caught us together sent a tidal wave of shivers up my spine.
In Blaine's hand was a small bouquet of daisies that I had seen growing near the lake. When I reached the bottom stair, he approached me and offered the flowers to me.
"A small apology for my behavior." He said as I took them from him.
"Thank you. They are lovely. But you need not apologize, as I said as your wife you have the right. I just… not our first time in the open."
He shook his head, "No, I said only a kiss and then I tried to make it more. I am a very honest man, but yet I can't seem to stop lying to you."
"You were caught in the moment, it was not a lie."
"I knew that I wanted more even as I told you that it would only be a kiss."
"Well, thank you for the flowers. Have you seen Kerani? I need to bathe." I didn't need to tell him that last part, but it slipped past my lips before I could stop it.
"She and Endre went into town for some supplies."
"Oh." I sighed and headed up the stairs, but Blaine grabbed my hand.
"Allow me, please."
I rose an eyebrow, "Allow you to do what?"
"Wait in my study, I'll summon you when it is ready."
I didn't know what he had planned, but I walked into the study as if I trusted him and waited. It seemed like a half hour past before he opened the study door and gestured for me to follow him.
When we reached his bedroom, my nose was filled with the scents of lilacs and gardenias. The tub in the corner had steam rising from it and there was a small basket beside the tub with several different soaps. I thought Blaine would leave me to cleaning myself, but when he locked the bedroom door with him inside, I knew he had other ideas.
He began to take the pins from my hair and had apparently found my hair brush. He brushed out my hair with firm gentleness and when he was satisfied laid the hairbrush on one of the chairs. I swallowed hard when he began to unlace my corset. My dress fell to my feet within seconds and all that was left were my shoes and bloomers. Coming to stand in front of me, he kneeled down. I didn't see him even attempt to look at my breast. He removed my shoes and then walked around behind me to remove my bloomers. Just like Kerani would undress me.
The feelings I had were a mix of excitement, fear, and embarrassment as Blaine walked over to the tub to wait for me. I made my way over and climbed the step ladder. My hands tested the water first and it was the perfect temperature. I stepped in and settled my body down.
Blaine reached down to pick up a washcloth and a bar of scented soap. He wet the washcloth and then rubbed the bar of soap between it. When there was enough suds, he placed the soap back in the basket and began to wash my shoulders and back.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked when the cloth grew closer to my breast.
"To gain familiarity with you and to apologize further for everything that I have done. If need be, I will be your servant until you forgive me for my transgressions." His voice was soft.
"Isn't this something one should do after familiarity is already present?"
"Perhaps, but nothing we have done together has been by the book." He lifted one of my arms and washed it before doing the other.
Bending over he pulled a small cup from the basket and filled it with water before emptying the water slowly in my hair. When he was satisfied that my hair was wet enough, he grabbed the bar of soap again and began to lather up my hair. He then rinsed it and began to wash me with the cloth again. Normally, I would have stood to have my legs and backside washed, but I remained in the water.
When he was finished, he picked up a towel and opened it so he could wrap me up when I stepped out. As soon as I was standing in front of him, I lifted my arms and he tied the towel around me. He then took another towel and dried my hair and limbs. After which he fetched me a new pair of bloomers and a dress. He helped me dress and then kissed my lips gently when he was finished.
"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. I'll be down shortly." He told me.
"Alright." I responded and began to walk towards the door. When I turned to shut the door behind me, I witnessed him removing his shirt. He too was going to bathe, but his bath would be alone.
---***---
Dinner felt awkward. Blaine was being exceptionally kind towards me, while Durril stared at me with a mixture of confusion, lust, and anger. Perhaps it was more jealousy towards his brother then anger.
Every time my hand rested freely on the table, Blaine would scoop it up. It seemed every other time he did this, he would place a kiss on my knuckles. This behavior caused Durril's nostrils to flare. When he finally had enough, he left the dinner table with only half his food eaten.
Blaine knew there was something wrong with his brother and excused himself from the table to speak with him. I was left alone for the remainder of the meal including dessert. After spending my entire day with Blaine, I was more then willing to be alone for a short time.
When my meal was over, I was ready to go to sleep. Kerani knew that my bed time was nearing and had searched me out, though I would hardly need her services that night. Now that I was sleeping in my husband's room, it was uncommon for me to use a servant for clothing myself. Though I would most likely still have her dress me in the morning, because I had trouble tying my corsets.
"Do you want me to help you into your sleeping gown?" Kerani asked me as we approached Blaine's bedroom door.
"No, I can do this on my own." I said and opened the door, "Goodnight."
Upon entering the room, Blaine was already preparing the fire in the fireplace. Beside him was the stack of letters from Maita. He stood up when I entered and didn't sit back down until I shut the door.
I didn't question him, just went to my wardrobe and pulled out my sleeping gown. I could feel his eyes upon me, but I didn't dare look over at him. He was probably as shocked to see that I was changing in front of him as I was to do it. I pulled the satin tie of my dress behind my neck and began to unweave it down my spine. It was not an easy task to do alone, but I managed well enough.
When the dress was ready, it dropped to the floor and I picked it up and placed it on the bed. I, then, removed my bloomers and my corset. When I was totally nude, I tried to act as if it didn't bother me. I pulled the sleeping gown over my head and began to pull out my bun. When I walked over to the mirror, I took my brush from the bottom of my wardrobe.
I looked over at Blaine. He was kneeled down still, his eyes were wide and fixed on me. "What are you doing?" I finally asked him as I brushed out my hair.
He swallowed, "I am going to burn these in front of you…" His words were spoken slowly. "and prove that they are all sealed."
"I believe you. Good night." I mumbled and walked over to the bed.
Blaine jumped to his feet and grabbed my hand. "Please, this is important." He walked me over to the chair and kneeled down in front of the fire again.
He held up a letter and showed me the seal wasn't broken. When I gave a nod, he would toss it into the fireplace. I noticed the small metal box on his own chair, the one that held the dried rose petals. It only made me anxious as I knew that he was going to try and claim my body tonight.
When the stack of letters were all burned in the fire. We both sat silently and watched their ashes. I wonder what he was thinking and suspected that he regretted ever burning them. He jumped to his knees and walked on them over to me. Taking both my hands into his own, he rested both our hands on my thighs.
"Did that return any of your lost trust?"
"The same amount if Leora had done so."
He swallowed, "It was more difficult for me to do it myself, then to allow another the trouble. These past months, I have lived in secrecy and deceit. A lifestyle unbefitting a knight of my status or a duke. One should always respect his wife and I have not done so. I have not even sanctified our marriage by taking you in my bed as a husband should. Tonight that will be remedied, if you allow it."
I wasn't certain if he was asking me or telling me. When I didn't respond, he stood up and fetched the box from his chair. He kneeled back down and placed the open container on my knees.
"Do you remember when I spoke to you of my family's tradition?" When I nodded, he took a petal from the box and offered it to my lips. I took it into my mouth and he removed another petal from the box and ate it.
He closed the box and set it on the ground before standing up. Both his hands were offered to me, but I was afraid to take them. I knew that I wasn't ready for this, but I also knew that I would never be ready. I had been terrified the night of our wedding that this would occur and it should have then. I was in no position to deny my husband his right to lay with me, but I didn't want to go through with it either.
"I don't know if I am ready for this, Blaine." I said. He was just standing patiently in front of me with his hands out for what seemed to be an eternity.
Leaning over he picked up my hands and pulled me into a standing position. He placed my hands on his shoulders and stepped into me. His hands went to my hips before sliding around me to pull me closer to him. We stood pressed together until I was comfortable enough in his arms that I laid my head on his shoulder. I was exhausted from the day's excursions and just wanted to sleep now.
Blaine must of felt my body relax, because he moved away from me and picked me up into his arms. Walking over to the bed, he laid me down over the blankets then stepped back. He stood there patiently as if I was suppose to say something. I felt exposed under his gaze and so I did the only thing that I could think of. I pulled the blankets from under me and attempted to cover myself.
He grabbed the blankets and tossed them towards the end of the bed. One of his knees came down on the bed next to my hip and I stared at him. Watching his every move as if he were about to attack me instead of make love to me. He unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it onto the ground, before sliding his body up the length of my own.
Using his arms to keep his weight off of me, he looked into my face. "If you become scared, tell me. I will wait until it passes."
Which told me that he was going to do this no matter what I said. To answer him, I merely nodded before his lips pressed against mine. His kisses came gently at first. Small pecks to my bottom and top lips, then he kissed the corners, and when he had finished he started again. He then stopped and looked back into my eyes as if he were testing my expression. If it was one of fear, disgust, or passion, I couldn't say, but whatever he saw seemed to pull him in further.
His kiss became more passionate and needy. Though it wasn't strong, but more like he was begging for me to allow this. I then felt more of his weight settle on me as his arms released him and began to slid down my own arms. When he found my wrists, he pulled them above my head and captured them in one hand. I realized then that I had been pushing at his chest, trying to keep distance between us.
The hand that held my wrists twisted so he could rest on the same elbow. His other hand began to explore my body in ways that I had never had someone touch me before that day. He slowly pulled up my sleeping gown until my hips were uncovered and then slid his hand up my body to my breast. My nipples instantly hardened to his touch and Blaine groaned when he felt them react.
He positioned his body over my own and again I felt his knee on my thigh. I gave in instantly as I wanted this to be over, but I also wanted it to continue. I could feel heat growing in my abdomen like it had earlier in the meadow. When he was between my legs, he sat up. His arms slipped under my back and pulled me up into his lap, where he removed my sleeping gown.
My arms wrapped around his shoulders and my legs around his waist as we continued to kiss. His hands started to caress my shoulders then worked their way downward to my bottom. They then returned to my shoulders and pulled my arms away from his body, so he could lay me down.
His lips did not return to mine, but instead started at my neck and worked their way downward. He kissed and licked both of my nipples, then continued his venture downward.
"What are you doing?" I asked breathlessly.
His lips were still on the skin of my belly when he spoke, "This will be your first time, won't it?"
"Yes."
"I want you to feel pleasure before I cause you pain."
I had no idea what that meant until I felt his lips touch my womanhood. The new sensation that I felt as his lips kissed and licked my nether regions made my body shake with desire. Blaine had to hold onto my thighs to stop me from trying to push at his shoulders with my feet. His relentless kisses continued to build up heat within my belly until I was certain that I could take no more. My entire body shivered with a sensation that was both pleasurable and painful.
He didn't stop, only continued to kiss and suck at my now aching bud. It continued until the heat began to build again, he then stopped. Standing up, he removed his pants and for the first time in my life, I saw what I had only felt earlier against my leg. It was stiff and the look in his eyes told me of his arousal. He mounted me quickly as if he didn't want me looking over his body.
Lips were at my ears and he gently kissed my lobe before whispering. "This will hurt, Valora."
I felt his manhood at my entrance and at first only felt a fullness of pleasure. Then a wave of pain struck me so quickly from his thrust. When I gasped in agony, he stopped moving all together. His arms were wrapped around my shoulders and he held me tightly to him. So, tightly I could feel the small patch of hair on his chest against my own. My legs and arms instinctively wrapped around him as if to stop any more movement from him.
After several moments, he tried to move again, but the pain was still there and increased whenever he moved inside me. My arms and legs would tighten around him and he would hold motionless in whatever position he was in. He tried three more times and each time, I attempted to stop him.
"Let go." He said but his voice remained soft.
Afraid he would hurt me, I didn't want to release him, but I did as he had ordered of me. With a quick burst of pain, he removed himself from my body and rolled over onto his side of the bed. I thought he was angry with me at first until he wrapped his arm around me and brought my back to his chest.
"We will try again in a couple nights." He whispered and kissed my cheek before we both fell asleep.
---***---
In the morning, I awoke to find that Blaine was no longer in bed with me. Kerani was in the room preparing my clothing for the day. She did not say anything about my nude form, though she did seem rather upset about it. When I stood up, she mumbled something about me needing a bath now, but did not begin to fill the tub. She helped me into my bloomers and the rest of my clothing which was a dark blue dress."Is there something the matter?" I asked when she began to tie my corset too tightly.
With a quick yank, she shook her head which I barely saw from over my shoulder. When it was tied she spun me around. "I would have denied him. The adulterer did not earn his right to take you." She snorted.
"Earn his right? We are married, he has the right."
She grabbed my hairbrush and began to remove the knots in my hair before placing it in a firm bun. "You should have denied him!" Her voice lowered, "And lost your maidenhood to his brother. That is what he earned."
"To his brother?" I squeaked and she placed her hand over my mouth.
"Of course. The servants know that there is more between you and we have no intention of telling Lord Blaine. He deserves it as long as he keeps Maita in his heart." She placed the last pin in my hair.
My hand whipped across her face and left a stinging red mark. "Never speak of Lord Blaine in such a matter again. There is nothing between Lord Durril and I and there never will be. I am a married woman who has vowed faithfulness to her husband. How dare you or any of the servants speak otherwise!"
Kerani's head bowed after the initial look of shock pasted from her face, "Forgive me, mistress." She walked to the door and opened it for me. "Lord Blaine requests your immediate presence in his study when you have awoken."
I felt terrible having hit Kerani. That was not something that I had ever done before, but her words had infuriated me. As I walked past her, I knew that I would have to apologize to her later.
Making my way to Blaine's study door, I knocked gently on it and heard someone tell me to come in. Opening the door, I stepped inside to find Durril sitting in a chair in front of the desk and Blaine behind it. He waved for me to have a seat next to Durril and I did as I was asked. Having both men in the same room had caused me some discomfort, but I remained strong. I knew this couldn't be what I thought it was.
"I just received word that the king wants me to return to Mureal by the end of the week." Blaine began, "With the war at hand, there is much that he needs me for. He has estimated that I will not be able to return here for at least six months. I have left Durril in charge of my affairs and need to know if you wish to join me in Mureal."
I tried not to look at Durril's face as I knew if I saw his desire for me to say I would stay, that I would want to do so. "May I think on it for the day?"
He gave a brief nod, "I need the answer the day before so the servants can prepare your belongings."
Durril stood and bowed his head before he exited the room. I was afraid to leave in case he was waiting for me and so I remained seated. "Do you have much to do today?" I ask my husband.
"There is a great deal that I need to prepare for so that Durril is not overwhelmed while I am gone." He looked up to me then back down to the scroll on his desk.
"Is there anything that I could help with?" I scooted forward on my chair.
"Indeed there is." He stood up and handed me a letter that was on his desk. "Could you write six copies of this letter in your best handwriting? I need to send them out to other nobility in the area informing them that I will be away."
I smiled and took the letter from him, "Of course. I'll use the writing desk in our bedroom." I stood up and began to walk for the door.
"You could stay in here with me… if you wish." The words were spoken shyly. It was not a tone that I was use to Blaine using.
I turned back around, "Where would I write?"
He looked around the room, "You may use the desk. What I must do now doesn't require it and while we do that, I will have the servants bring a spare writing desk in. I have been meaning to do that for some time now."
With a grin, I came around the desk and allowed him to pull the chair out for me. When I was seated, I began to create my first copy and Blaine went to inform a servant that he wanted another desk in the study.
When he returned, he pulled a book from the shelf and began to read it. Occasionally, he would stop and come over to the desk to write a note down. He had needed the desk, but didn't want me to leave the room. I smiled internally when I realized this.
After a half hour, the servants brought a small writing desk into the room and placed it against the wall near the door. They had to remove on of the chairs, but Blaine didn't mind, he said they were never used. As soon as the servant left, I placed myself in the writing desk and Blaine returned to his desk. I saw him smile when I did so, as if he were pleased that he didn't have to ask me.
It took me the better part of the morning to finish the letters and when I was through, I realized that I had written one too many. "I wrote one more then was needed." I held up the spare letter and Blaine looked up with a humored grin.
"I'll have that one sent to my cousin." He pulled out his red wax and seal stamp. "Here stamp them with the family seal."
I folded the letters up properly then melted a small glob of wax over the opening. The small stamp would be pressed down into the letter to show that it had not been opened and prove authenticity. When I finished with the last one, I felt a shadow move over me. It was Blaine. He had come to inspect my work.
His hands rested on my shoulders and gently squeezed them. As a little sigh rolled from my lips, he stopped and turned my chair around. Kneeling down before me, his hands ran up my thighs and around my bottom. He laid his head in my lap and I began to stroke his hair.
"Six months will be a long time for our growing relationship to wait. It would please me beyond words if you came with me."
I brushed the hair from his forehead but didn't respond to his words. I knew that as his wife, I should jump at the chance to be with him. Yet, I knew that it would be six months alone with Durril and Kerani's words about the servants not telling had planted a seed in my mind.
"Valora, come with me." Blaine said when he realized that I wouldn't reply.
"I have only just become accustomed to living here. You know that I never left my own city when I grew up. It is strange to leave this place for another."
He rubbed his face against my leg and for a brief moment, I witnessed something that I hadn't seen before. Blaine was exhausted. Whether it was with the war, or the drama occurring with us, or perhaps both, I could not say. "I can not leave you here with Durril. If you do not come with me then I will hire a governess to watch over you. I do not believe that anything may occur, but my brother's will is strong."
"This has nothing to do with Durril." I lied, "If I stay here then I will submit willingly to your governess."
I felt his arms begin to tighten and I was pulled from my chair into his lap. My arms wrapped around his neck and he inhaled deeply at my neck. "Your words comfort me. I was afraid you would argue with me and then I might be lead to believe that there is more between you and Durril."
He looked up and began to kiss me. It wasn't long and passionate, but rather simple. He seemed to be portraying his happiness rather then any lust for me.
I smiled at him, "You should address the letters and I will give them to Leora."
His arms tightened around me when I tried to stand. "I want you to come with me to Mureal."
"You've said that already."
"Ease my mind, Valora. Say you will come with."
I arched an eyebrow, "I thought I already did so by saying that I would allow a governess."
"Six months is far too long for me. I may not rely on you now, but today I witness that in its making. I will not accept no as an answer." One of his hands slid up my backside to the small of my back.
"If you will not accept no, then doesn't that mean you are ordering me to go?" My question was met with the most devilish grin that I had ever witnessed.
"Of course not. I am only informing you that I will change your mind in anyway that I can."
I grinned back, "I'd like to see you try!"
The hand that was slithering up my back continued its journey until it reached my neck. He pressed against it to bring my face to his own which I did without much resistance. This time his kiss was passionate and I became the one seeking entrance into his mouth with my tongue. He denied me which only caused me to moan in frustration. I felt him smile and I shoved his shoulders back.
He was still smiling at me. "I think this will be easier then I expected." He said as I stood up and bundled up the letters on the desk.
I offered them to him and frowned. "Address these. I am done with you for the day."
There was a deep laughter coming from him when I exited the study. I was hungry for both breakfast and my husband, but at least one would allow me to forget the other.
---***---
Blaine convinced me to go with him to Mureal. Actually, after Durril tried to kiss me again in the hallway, I knew that I needed some distance between us. It was becoming dangerous for me to even be seen with Durril as I didn't know how he would act. He never asked Blaine about moving from the estate, and I was too afraid to approach him and remind him of it. Several times I had wanted to bring the issue to Blaine, but I had no idea how he would react. I didn't want it to come between us or between them, so I remained silent and hoped it would pass.Sitting in the carriage, I caught a glimpse of the passing farms outside. Normally, Blaine rode his horse with the other knights that were escorting us, but he had chosen to ride in the carriage with me. The knights didn't seem bothered by his choice, most likely due to it being a common occurrence when a knight brought his wife.
The past couple days had been long as our sleeping conditions were far less then comfortable. I had been given a tent to sleep in while most of the other knights slept in bedrolls. Blaine didn't appreciate being teased when he slept in the tent the first night with me, so he started sleeping in a bedroll with the others. The uncomfortable conditions had taken a toll on everyone, as no one seemed to be in a pleasant mood any longer. Not even I could pretend to be hospitable, which had caused some small arguments between Blaine and myself.
I sighed as I looked out the window, I couldn't wait to get to Mureal and walk around. The journey had almost been insufferable and I wanted some distance away from Blaine and the other knights. As Blaine seemed to be the leader of the group, he had taken on a rather dominant attitude towards everyone, but me especially. He seemed to want to prove that he was in control of me to his men, and when I acted out they all looked at me as if I was the one misbehaving.
Blaine looked out the window and then back to me, "We should be arriving within the hour." He told me before leaning back and returning to his book.
I had my own book opened in my lap. The trip had been long and we had to sleep in tents for the past week. I did not look forward to the journey back, but Blaine was use to making the long trip and didn't seem as exhausted as I did. Though, I didn't think he liked being cramped into the carriage with me, and would probably be happier in his armor on a horse.
"You didn't have to ride in the carriage with me." I told him, when I watched him adjust his legs for the sixth time.
He looked up from his book, "Perhaps during the return journey, I will alter from day to day."
I nodded, "I would like to purchase several books in Mureal for our return. I have read this book three times already."
His eyes fell on the book in my lap, before returning to my face. "I told you that it would be a long journey and to pack plenty of entertainment."
"I did not realize how long it would be. I thought this book would be enough, it is after all rather long. The thickest book in the library." I closed the leather bound book and held it up for him to see.
A glare of annoyance came over his face, "Do you think that I have nothing else to spend my money on? We have hundreds of books at home."
"A lot of good they do me here." I didn't understand why he had suddenly become angry with me.
"You'll just have to suffer with that one."
"You said that I would be going to the markets with the other wives. I don't see why I can't buy books with the money, instead of cloth or sweets."
Blaine pressed his lips together and frowned, "We have enough books at home and that's final."
My mouth opened slightly as I watched him return to his reading. I was about to argue when he suddenly looked up at me, as if he knew I was about to speak.
"I said that's final, Valora."
I quickly crossed my arms and while making a humph sound turned my eyes to the window. As the time ticked by, I realized that Blaine was still glaring at me. When I turned to face him, his eyes were fixated on me and his cheeks were slowly turning red. His leaned forward and lowered his voice before he began to speak.
"You will behave like a proper wife should, while we are in Mureal. That means knowing your place."
"And what is my place?" I hissed slowly.
"No arguing, disagreeing, and following the orders that I give you. I will not be seen as a fool who can not control his wife in front of my peers. Do you understand me?"
My eye narrowed, "And if I don't?"
"Then you can remain in your room for the remainder of our stay." Leaning back, he opened his book again. "I will not be shamed by your less then ladylike behavior."
I tried to ignore the anger that was welding up in my chest, so I returned my eyes to the window. Outside the carriage, I could see that many of the farms had disappeared behind us. Though there were several groups of people on the road with us now. I knew that meant we were coming close to the city.
Within the next ten minutes, we had past the city gates and were well on our way to the manor that Blaine kept. He had another set of servants that worked for him here, though he often took Endre and some other servants from the estate. I knew that Endre was driving the carriage, which had been something that upset Kerani until she discovered she would be accompanying me. She rode in the back of the carriage, as Blaine refused to allow servants inside the carriage. Several times, she had moved to the front to sit with Endre, but Blaine had yelled at her. He didn't believe a woman should ride up front. I felt embarrassed for Kerani, because when Blaine had yelled at her, it was Endre that had to translate. Had it been me, I would have softened Blaine's words for her, but Endre was sure to be just as harsh as his master.
As we approached the manor, I noticed that it was quite a bit smaller then the one back home. However, since Blaine normally was the only person to have short visits, he hardly needed a mansion. As we drew near, a small gate was opened by servants that I had never met. A small stable was almost directly to the right of the gate entrance, and there was a short path that led up to the door.
When the carriage came to a stop, Endre opened the door and Blaine was the first to step out. He offered me his hand and I was able to get my first good look at the small manor. Kerani jumped down from the back of the carriage and began to collect my belongings with Endre.
Blaine didn't bother to introduce me to any of the servants that were buzzing around. Instead, he went into the manor and left me outside. I followed behind him, once I realized that he was no longer with me. Kerani was being yelled at by one of the servants, not realizing that she didn't speak the same language.
"No, upstairs on the right! Do not leave them at the end of the stairs!" The dark haired middle age woman yelled.
Kerani stood with her hands folded in front of her and a blank looked on her face.
I translated the command to Kerani in a more polite manner, and she nodded before grabbing my luggage and heading up the stairs.
"Lady Stavros!" The middle aged woman chirped when I entered. "I had heard that you might accompany the lord on his next visit. I am Colina, the head…"
"You will not speak to my chambermaid in such a manner again. She deserves respect. If at anytime you wish for her to do something, then you will speak with either Endre or myself." I barked and headed up the stairs behind Kerani.
"Yes, milady. I apologize." I heard Colina say as I reached the top of the short stairway.