Riane's bedroom was very different than what most might expect. It was the only place that she was allowed girlie things by her mother. So, her bed was a canopy bed with violet flowers on a white comforter.
Her desk was also white and vases with fresh flowers were placed around the room. She had a fireplace all to herself that her father never allowed her to use. That didn't matter though as it made the room look beautiful. Her bed was placed in the center of the room with dressers, a vanity, and her desk framing around it in the large room.
As she sat at her desk finishing her schoolwork, her phone buzzed as it was on silent. She looked at the screen of her cellphone at yet another photo that Seth had sent her. She had only been around them for one day and they were treating her like an old friend. Julian, Seth, and Dalen had a group conversation going with her and they would send random photos or thoughts throughout the evening.
Julian even assisted with his friend's homework which helped her since she was taking similar classes to them. The best part was he didn't just give the answers, he explained everything easily and if a friend didn't understand he would call them to explain over the phone or video chat to show them. He did it for her once that evening already over her math work.
Blake studied by himself all afternoon when he got home from school, and he would come over to her house on weekends to do study group or just to enjoy the day. At his home, all electronics were put in a basket upon entering the house, so she could never communicate with him until the one hour before his bedtime when he got his phone back. Even then he wasn't much of a texter or chatter over the phone.
She wondered what would happen at school the next day. She didn't know how to face Blake and make him stop seeing her as his little brother. They were the same age, and yet she was treated like a child, but she feared the idea of walking around the school alone.
Riane wasn't the type to hold a grudge for long and she knew that by tomorrow, she would be walking beside Blake again to her classes. As much as she wanted to tell him to stop and tell him that she was a girl, she feared for her friendship with him. She never understood why Blake insisted that she was a boy. She understood that she hadn't corrected him for three years about her gender, but her own mother had been trying to make her a boy in her father's eyes and it had been confusing time for her.
Blake had never talked about it with her. He saw the bikini, they swam around and laughed, and he never asked her anything. She had to tell him why she was the way she was, and he didn't really seem to want to hear it. He didn't even like her saying that she was female to him or anyone else, though he did not correct her just appeared annoyed or uncomfortable.
Sometimes she wondered what would happen if she did as her father instructed, and started wearing clothes for women. Tight jeans and a real bra not a sports bra that flattened her out as much as it could. No more baggy clothes like her mother instructed.
She always wanted to try them on and go outside in a dress, but once the dress went on she felt strange as if she was hurting her mother somehow. The dress would always go back into the closest and she wouldn't look at it again.
“Almost done?” Joe came into the room and tossed herself on the bed. “My mom says that dinner is almost ready, and your dad left for his trip. So, at least you'll be able to eat breakfast for a couple weeks without him barking at you.”
Her phone buzzed again and she looked at it.
“Is that Blake? This isn't his phone time, is it?” She checked her own cellphone for the time as she sat up and put her feet on the ground but continued to sit on the bed.
“No, it's the guys.” Riane told her. “They send stupid pictures and comments to each other, but also help each other with homework. Julian seems to tutor everyone. Seth and Dalen told me that they get B's and A's because he is such a good teacher.”
“Huh, who would have thought?” Joe chuckled. “You have really taken a shine to them, haven't you? You usually aren't able to let people in unless you know them really well for a long time.”
Riane shrugged her shoulders as she kept her back to her friend and continued her homework. “They are relaxed and easy to get to know. Plus, everyone else has predefined expectations of me, because everyone knows about my... condition. It's fun.”
“They still think you are a boy though. Is that really ok? I mean look at what happened when Blake found out, it is like he tries to pretend he doesn't know the truth.” Joe sighed. “I do not know how anyone could think you are a boy, anyway. You look like a girl, you talk like a girl, you act like a girl, but throw on some boy clothes and it is like no one notices.”
“Maybe it is because you know I am a girl, and therefore that is all you see. They 'know' I am a boy and so that is all they see.” Riane closed her book and turned her chair around to face her friend.
“I suppose, but explain Blake then.” Joe laid back on the bed but let her feet dangle.
Walking over to the bed, Riane lay on her back beside her. “You said it yourself. Denial.”
There was a momentary silence, before Joe spoke again. “Do you still like him?”
Riane nodded her head, “I do.”
They both sighed in unison.
Joe turned her head to look at her friend, “What are we going to do about that, Riane? Eventually, you are going to have to tell him how you really feel, and he might not take too well to that.”
“I know.” She sighed loudly. “I don't know. I think him and Adonia have something going on. They flirt a lot with each other, and he spent a lot of time with her on at the ranch over the summer. Suddenly, we start school and she is eating lunches with us instead of with her friends more than half the time now.”
“Would he keep something like that from you?” Joe propped herself on one elbow so she could look at her friend. “That doesn't seem like Blake.”
“I thought not either, but... he...” She inhaled deeply, “Today, he told me that I am a burden to him sometimes, and he went to Adonia's party this weekend and didn't tell me because he wanted space away from me.”
“Ass, but also kind of true. People need breaks from one another.”
“I know, and I really wouldn't have minded if he said he wanted to go alone.” She reached over and grabbed a small violet heart shaped pillow to hug. “Before Adonia came into our lives, he always told me that he was happy to help me and when I called myself a burden he would get mad and tell me that this was his choice and I was his best friend. Now, suddenly, I am a burden that he lies to about stupid parties.”
“Now, I am pissed.” Joe sat up entirely and gripped the bed comforter on either side of her legs. “Should I call him and give him a piece of my mind?”
“Please, don't. He has enough pieces of your mind, at this point he might have more of it than you do.” Riane teased and they both laughed.
“Fine, fine.”
“Seth and Dalen wanted to meet you. They asked me to introduce you to them.” Riane sat up next to her friend and put the pillow back.
“I know, I heard. Why did you think I jumped in the car and drove off so fast?”
Riane giggled, “I thought so.”
In the entertainment room, Bryce and Zachary sat on the couch with controllers in their hands and a split screen racing game on the large flat screen television that was across the room and hung on the wall. Occasionally, one of them would try to play with the other one's controls.
Julian sat in the recliner but with his feet dangling over the armrest. He was staring at his phone and grinning from time to time. A couple times he had left the room for the evening presumably to help one of his friends with their homework.
“You've been at that a lot longer than usual.” Bryce finally commented on it. “What is up with Seth and Dalen?”
“They have a new friend that hasn't seen all their photos and internet memes, so they are blowing up my phone.” Julian informed him.
“I'm surprised you didn't go over to Dalen's house today.” Bryce said before pumping his arm at his victory. “Suck it!”
Zachary frowned, “Best four out of five.”
“I wanted to talk to mom about the arranged marriage, and afterward I didn't feel like going out.” Julian sighed.
“Are you really going to marry some girl you don't know?” Zachary asked as he picked what track he wanted to race on.
“We will know each other. I basically have to date her until she breaks up with me.” He typed something on his phone while he was talking to them.
“That should be easy enough.” Bryce teased. “You've been my brother for eighteen years and I have wanted to break up with you the entire time.”
Zachary chuckled and then added. “I can't imagine a girl wanting to spend more than a couple weeks with you.”
Julian looked up at his phone with a slight grin. “You think so? Like who would want to marry me, right? She'll break up with me and this hellish nightmare will end.”
“It's no fun if you take our insults as helpful advice.” Bryce growled before the race on the television began.
Julian turned his attention back to his phone and texted his friends. “It was my dad that set up the arranged marriage.”
“That sucks.” Was the reply he got from Seth and Dalen.
“Jinx!” They both replied again at nearly the same time.
“No, I jinxed first!” Seth quickly retorted, and Julian had no doubt that he would have shouted it if they were together in person.
“No, I did! You're jinxed!” Dalen replied.
“See, now we have both talked. You fucking ruin everything!” Seth texted. “You are buying me a soda tomorrow.”
“Fuck you, no.”
“Aren't you two in the same fucking house? Do you need to text this?” Julian asked, and no reply came so he figured they looked up from their phones to argue with each other.
After a couple seconds, Seth replied. “What not interested to see who wins?”
“Your lover's spat? No.” Julian snapped back.
It took several moments after that but Riane finally replied. “I am sure the girl will be just as bummed as you are. I know I am not looking forward to meeting whoever my dad picks for me.”
“So, she might just agree and then dump me if I asked?” Julian texted the question and no reply came for more than five minutes. “My dad says she has to end it or I lose my inheritance.” He added.
Riane replied quickly to that. “Maybe? Depends on her, I suppose.”
“Fuck, you two are dull. Seth and I are out. See you tomorrow at school.” Dalen texted.
“I have to go too. Dinner.” Riane added and then would not reply again for the rest of the evening.
Looking up from his phone, Julian sighed loudly before standing up and walking out of the entertainment room. He found his mother sitting at the dining room table and looking at something on her tablet.
“Deciding my future?” He asked as he sat down across from her at the long table that was completely empty.
Nanette looked up at her son. “You know this might not be the worst thing in the world to happen to you. I am not just trying to pick someone who is pretty or smart, I am trying to find someone that you will get along with and have fun.”
“I don't get along with my brothers, and you think you can find that in a stranger?” Julian snorted.
“You get along with them more than you realize.” She smirked.
“I don't really get along with girls. Maybe only to get them into bed, but after that I don't know what to do with them. They are stupid and annoying.” Julian gritted his teeth near the end.
Nanette frowned, “Maybe if you treated them as nicely as you did before you slept with them, there wouldn't be an issue.”
“You ever think of just asking me to stop bringing dates around, before allowing father more control over my life? Seriously, threatening me with the money you two purposely put aside for me is just a dick move.” Julian leaned forward and pressed his elbows against the table.
“Dick move?” Nanette sounded frustrated. “Your father has thrown out drugged up girls, who have either been completely nude or flashed your little brother. This has happened multiple times, and that is not a dick move?”
“You always said, you don't justify bad behavior with bad behavior.” He was being a smart ass and he knew it.
She slowly shook her head. “I have asked and pleaded with you when it comes to your dating choices, and these girls you bring home are beneath you. You refuse to listen and you refuse any girls that I ask you to date and get to know. No, instead you want to make our family into a laughing stock and claim all the attention for yourself; negative attention is your drug, son. I am done with it.”
Julian chuckled bitterly, “Do you think some good girl is going to suddenly make me into a better person? Have you been reading too many romance novels?”
She sighed, “I do not know what I hope, Jules. It was either this or tossing you out with nothing, and I decided to try this first. Please, don't screw this up.”
Julian stared at his mother for several moments, “Seth is in an arranged marriage. He says she is nice but he has only met her twice. Sounds real happy, right? A true love story in the making.” He watched his mother give him an exhausted look. “Ryan says his dad will put him in one as well. He says that that's how his father plans on controlling him. Maybe he is right about that. Maybe this whole thing is just about you wanting to control my life, and make big decisions for me for your vanity.”
“I suppose you are right, but that isn't going to change my mind.” Nanette crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair. They sat quietly for a moment, “Who is Ryan? A new friend?”
Julian decided to change the subject as this seemed like it was going no where. “Yeah. Well, we didn't get along much until today. He's cool. His dad is that asshole, Simon Nairne. Always, trying to control him.” He stood up from the table and walked out of the room.
Nanette rose an eyebrow, she knew Simon's wife and she was well aware that her son was only ten and was Simon's only son. He had an older daughter that went to the university. She had heard she dressed like a boy a great deal. Either his new friend, Ryan, was a liar or her son was mistaken about his new friend's gender.
She thought to tell him as he walked out of the room, but instead she chuckled and decided to let him find out for himself. It would be a life lesson.
Climbing into the black car, Riane inhaled as she tossed her backpack into the backseat and put her seat belt on. She leaned back in her chair and looked at her friend who had begun to drive her away from her house.
“Worried about Blake?” Joe asked as they pulled out passed the gate and onto the street.
Riane slowly shook her head, “No, I am going to accept his apology and forget about it. I suppose he was right to not want me there, I just wish he had said so instead of lying to me.”
Joe nodded her head, then decided to give Riane her quiet time before classes so she could meditate and calm herself. She listened to her inhaled deeply through her mouth and then exhaled slowly through her nose.
At least this morning, Riane did not have to deal with her father and was able to eat. She could never relax around her father, and always had to seem like she was doing something productive. If she seemed to be having fun then he would assign her extra work.
Riane loved to play her piano, and she could play several other instruments. When her father learned that she wanted to attend school for the liberal arts, he removed all the instruments from the house and told her to study something that would be useful in the real world.
Joe remembered that crushing day when Riane couldn't even cry as her beloved instruments were yanked away from her. She never talked about them to anyone after that either. It was almost like a death had occurred in her life, and she was too traumatized to mention it.
Pulling up to the university, Riane noticed Blake waiting for her at the gate. She smiled to Joe and said her goodbyes, as she got out of the car and pulled her backpack out of the backseat.
As she walked over to him, Adonia was revealed to be standing beside him. Her heart dropped, as she thought she couldn't have one moment alone with him anymore.
“Hey.” Riane said as she came to stand in front of the two of them.
“Hey.” Blake responded.
“Hello, are you alright today?” Adonia asked with concern in her voice. “I could barely sleep all night, because I was worried but I realized that I don't have your phone number. How bizarre is that? How long have we been hanging out at school, and I can't call you?” She giggled nervously. “I texted Blake, but you know how he is with his phone. Didn't respond to me until right before bed, and told me it wasn't his number to give out.”
Riane slowly nodded her head, “Yeah, that sounds like Blake.” She said with no enthusiasm.
“I wanted you to have your space, so you could think everything over.” Blake told her. “So, are we friends still?”
Her heart ached as she thought about her next words. “Yes, we are.”
Blake grinned, “Great, I'll walk you to class.”
“Why don't you walk Adonia to class? I'll go on my own.” These words were the most frightening words she had ever spoken. Not only was she asking to walk in the crowds alone, but she was sending him away with another girl. However, she knew she had to change the way that Blake saw her.
Both Adonia and Blake stared at her like she had just spoken both something horrifying and complete nonsense at the same time.
He chuckled as the waves of students passed by them. “Don't be ridiculous. I've always walked you to class from the first day of middle school. Why would we stop now?”
“I won't need you to walk me around anymore.” Her heart pounded and she could already feel the panic welling up in her chest.
Adonia remained silent beside Blake.
“If this is about yesterday, I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean you bother me all the time, just that sometimes I want to go out by myself. I don't mind walking you around campus. In fact, I enjoy the company. So, let's go.” His voice sounded genuine even if he was not.
“I'm not a little kid, Blake. I'm not even a boy. Stop treating me like either, and don't meet me at my classes. I'm an adult. I'll handle myself.” Riane looked at their expressions of shock, though Blake's seemed to be the most horrified. It was the first time that she ever told him that she was not a boy.
With those words spoken, she hurried to follow the passing students and leave the two of them behind. Her courage in front of Blake quickly dissipated as she moved towards the court. The panic in her chest grew tighter, and she started having trouble breathing. Her mind went blank but at the same time was filled with every scenario that could possibly go wrong. Slowly, her legs lost their strength and she could barely move forward anymore.
Only Joe and Blake had the ability to keep her from falling apart in a crowd like this one, and she now regretted her decision. She hoped that Blake wouldn't listen to her and come find her, as she could no longer chant in her own mind that all she needed to do was get to her class. Once in the classroom, she would be fine, but that focus was now gone.
“You alright, Little Man?” Julian asked as he walked up behind her.
Riane shook her head as she clawed at her shirt and turned red.
“Are you choking on something?” Julian bent over and looked at her face, but she shook her head to his question. “Do you need the nurse or for me to call an ambulance?”
She once more shook her head to his question.
Placing his hand on her shoulder, he stood there with her for several moments. He didn't know that Blake or Joe would hug her tightly and rush her away from the crowd. Instead, he sat with her in that fear for several moments until she began to calm down.
“What's wrong with him?” Seth asked as he approached the two in the busy courtyard with Dalen close on his heels.
“I don't know.” Julian responded. “He doesn't want an ambulance or anything though.”
Dalen came to stand in front of her, and placed his hand on her other shoulder. “Can you not breath? Do you have asthma?”
Riane shook her head as she started to take small breaths.
“He's not as red as he was before.” Julian informed them as the other two men looked worried. “Are you starting to feel better?”
She nodded her head. “Yes.” She was barely able to say.
“Oh, is this a panic attack?” Dalen asked and watched her nod once more. “Little Man, you got a test today or something?”
Julian looked around for a moment after she shook her head, “Where is Blake? Doesn't he walk you around?”
She was slowly gaining her color back and taking breaths more often.
“You're alright.” Dalen told her flatly.
“Yeah, calm down. Try to take deep breaths.” Julian patted his back. “No need to pass out in the middle of the courtyard.”
After a couple more moments, Riane got a better hold of herself though her heart still raced without Blake or Joe beside her. “I'm alright.”
It had only been less than a few minutes since it started; to her it had been an eternity. Every second seemed like an inch away from death.
“Can you stand up?” Seth asked.
“Yeah.” She proved it by doing so. “Sorry. I don't like crowds.”
Julian chuckled, “That's the understatement of the year.”
Two weeks had come and gone, Riane would greet Blake and Adonia at the gate to be pleasant with them and then would head over to the courtyard where her three new friends would eventually find her. They never tried to rescue her, no matter which one found her. Instead, they just sat besides her and talked to her about anything other than the panic attack she was having. At times, it felt like they were getting better, but other times they were much worse than before.
Riane had stopped eating lunch with Blake and Adonia, and started to eat with Julian and his group. It was refreshing to be around people that weren't always trying to be incredibly polite to one another. While Blake and Adonia had their merits when it came to conversation, there was barely any laughter and they were always walking on egg shells for fear of hurting her feelings.
Of course, she felt like she was abandoning her old friends for her new friends, but it wasn't as if Blake or Adonia were searching her out. She hadn't received a phone call or text from Blake since that day, and he seemed more than happy to walk Adonia to class rather than her.
It was a heartbreaking truth that she did not want to admit to, but in her attempt to be female in Blake's eyes, she might have given him to another girl. She did not know what else to do, as she couldn't be a burden in his eyes any longer, but being the burden is what kept him as her own.
Sitting behind the gym while they ate their lunches, the guys talked about video games or television shows. None of which she had played or seen.
“What do you do all day when you get home?” Seth asked.
She shrugged as she swallowed down her fettuccine. “Homework, mostly. My father doesn't believe that time should be wasted on anything other than work or study. We have a television in our house, but it is only for my dad to use to watch the news. If we are caught using our laptops or cellphones for games they will be confiscated.”
“I thought my dad was an ass.” Julian shook his head slowly. “So, hey, I've been meaning to bring this up, but I never knew you were friends with Adonia Fulke.”
“I guess we are friends because we are both friends with Blake, but I wouldn't call her close to me.” She took a drink of her soda from the can. “Why?”
“He has been... oh what is the proper term... pining! Pining for this young lady for months now.” Dalen teased.
After giving his friend a glare, he turned back to Riane. “She seeing anyone?”
“Other than your brother?” Seth added and laughed when Julian punched him in the arm.
Riane slowly shook her head, “I don't know. She and Blake might be seeing each other, but if they are they aren't telling me.”
“Why not?” Julian seemed disgusted to hear such a thing.
“I don't know, maybe he blames me for the girlfriends he had in high school. All of them thought we were too close and would get insanely jealous.” She put a forkful of her noodles in her mouth.
“Why? He is straight, right? So, they didn't want their boyfriend hanging out with his friend?” Julian rolled his eyes. “This is why girls are so fucking stupid. Jealous over two friends.”
“Adonia is a girl.” Dalen reminded him, “Is she fucking stupid?”
He didn't seem to like being reminded of that, and flipped his friend off.
“Speaking of the devil.” Seth pointed in the direction behind Riane and Julian who were sitting next to each other.
“There you are.” Adonia said loudly as she approached. “I have been looking all over for you. Let's talk.”
Riane realized that something very bad could happen in this moment. Adonia referred to her in feminine form, and if she said anything to these guys about her everything would end.
Jumping up, Riane hurried over to her friend. “We'll be right back!” She shouted to them before rushing her friend across the grass to another building of the school.
“What? What was that about?” Adonia questioned with shock in her eyes.
“They think I am male. Don't call me 'she' or 'her' in front of them. What do you want?” Riane asked before realizing that she wasn't talking in the way she should to Adonia. She cleared her throat, “Oh, sorry. That... that was a rude way to phrase myself.”
“I'll say.” Adonia seemed to calm herself. “Riane, what is going on here? Why would you toss us aside for those punks? Do you realize how hurt Blake is?”
Riane looked at her friend for a moment. “Why is Blake hurt? I'm not bothering him or causing him any trouble. He doesn't have to worry about me anymore.”
She seemed angry that Riane would even ask such a question. “You are his best friend, and suddenly, without any warning, you aren't. He never gets an explanation but instead just sees you running around with those morons. Morons that pick on you constantly.”
“Aren't you dating Julian's older brother?” Riane knew this was a cheap trick to find out if something was going on between her and Blake, but it seemed like it could be a valid question as well.
“Bryce? No, we are just friends during basketball season.” She sighed, “Are those idiots saying I am dating his brother? That's how rumors start, you know?”
“Well, what is it that you want from me?” Riane asked after a brief pause in the conversation. She wanted to get back to her friends, and didn't realize that she was once again speaking in a more blunt fashion.
Adonia seemed to ignore the way she asked, and moved right to the heart of the matter. “Would it be so awful to have lunch with us? It doesn't even have to be every day just like two or three times a week?”
Riane shrugged her shoulders, and looked over at her friends when she noticed movement. Julian was making his way over as if he was somehow invited into the conversation. Though from Julian's point of view, it looked like Adonia was scolding her child.
“Hey, Adonia.” Julian nodded his head once as he approached her.
“This conversation isn't for you, pothead.” She snapped at him. “If you try to hit on me, I swear I won't hold back.”
“Someone has a high opinion of herself.” Julian snorted as he came to stand next to Riane. “You don't look so relaxed. Your shoulders are about to touch your ears.” He told her, then looked at Adonia. “Do you see how tense you make him?”
She decided to ignore him and continue her conversation. “Ryan, please. Come eat lunch with us. We miss having you around. Blake really wants to talk to you more than a brief conversation at the gate.”
“He has a phone. He can call him or text him, can't he? Or does he only have one of those special phones that only can get calls and text but not send them?” Julian chuckled and looked at Riane who smirked slightly. “Or perhaps you are his only form of communication at a distance? Send the Adonia to bring back his little friend?”
Adonia sighed, “Here.” She held out a piece of paper. “It is my number. If you want to eat lunch, or talk then please text me.”
Julian and Riane watched as she walked away, before Riane looked up at him. “That is how you treat the girl you like? It was as if she was enemy number one.”
He shrugged, “I figure since she didn't like me when I was sucking up to her, I'll just act like myself.”
“That's a horrible idea, really.” Riane teased as they both began to walk back to the other two.
“Ah, girls suck anyway.”
Blake sat by himself on the steps that he and Riane had been using all school year. Adonia had left her tray with him while she went to the bathroom.
He wondered if having Adonia join them for lunches could have hurt his friend's feelings. Riane didn't care for new people, and he had to admit Adonia was rather pushy. He liked her a great deal, after all she was kind, smart, beautiful, and most of all she didn't mind his friendship with Riane.
Of course, when Riane said she didn't need his help anymore, she never mentioned Adonia. Instead, she pointed to him. He thought about the moment she said she wasn't a boy over and over again, before asking himself why she never told him that when they were younger. Why was she perfectly content to be called 'he' until this very year.
If felt weird to think of his friend as anything but a guy. Perhaps it was because he had known Riane for three years as a male before realizing that she was female. He could never understand why he didn't talk to her about what was going on, and by the time he realized he should have it felt too late. It felt comfortable and he thought he was doing everything right.
Everything would have been as it was if he hadn't lied to his friend in the first place. Worst yet, he was still lying by not telling him that he was in a relationship with Adonia. Instead, he passed her off as his flirty friend. That was not fair to either of the girls.
In truth, Riane was the one that saved him from loneliness and despair. His family lived on the other side of the country. His father was a self-made man who became a shipping magnate after buying eight wheelers and other supply transportation trucks in his youth.
When he started middle school in the sixth grade, he was sent to Cerulean Harbor to live with a woman who was paid to watch him. His father, mother, and two sisters would visit him from time to time, but his father wanted him to make business contacts in a place where all the powerful sent their children.
On his first day of school, he was so afraid and lonely and when he saw a little boy afraid to go inside the school he immediately pinpointed a common ally. He was able to help the boy with his fears people and crowds while his fear of abandonment was alleviated. He had someone at his side at all times, and perhaps he was too harsh when he said he wanted time to not think about his friend. It made it seem like he received nothing from their friendship.
Going home to an empty apartment was difficult now that his babysitter was no longer necessary. Putting his phone and keys on the table next to the front door in order to do his homework, cook his meal, and clean up after himself. It was an old habit he learned growing up to not use his cellphone while at home unless someone called him.
His home was the loneliest place in the world, and he hated the quiet of that apartment. Though, he never invited people to his home. Not even Riane had been to his home. He always made excuses to keep people from seeing that his parents weren't with him, even if he told them they weren't. Something about showing his friends such things made them more real.
“So, I lied.” Adonia's voice broke through his thoughts and he looked up at her as she walked over to pick up her tray.
“Huh?”
“I went to find Ryan.” She admitted, “She is pretending to be male with those guys, and basically told me not to correct them.”
“Oh.” He didn't understand. Why would she tell him that she isn't a boy, then pretend to be one with a new set of friends? She was also not much of a liar, she just didn't like to correct people because she was afraid they would dislike her. If what Adonia said was true then Riane was actively lying to these new friends of hers.
“Julian came to her rescue when I tried to convince her to eat with us. He did have a good point though about you calling her if you wanted to talk to her.” Adonia sat down on the step next to Blake who had yet to touch his meal. “Did you wait for me before you ate? That is so kind, but you shouldn't have.”
“Oh, it is alright.” He started to eat his fettuccine.
“Did you hear me?” She watched his turn his head toward her. “Why don't you call Ryan and ask her to eat with us? Maybe if you reached out all this nonsense would end, and we could go back to being friends again.”
“I think he... she needs space.” Blake sighed as he stared down at his meal. He wasn't really hungry and hadn't been for a couple weeks now.
“Starving yourself to death won't make her talk to you.” Adonia warned. “Someone needs to break the silence, and I don't think it will be her. She's far too afraid of hurting someone's feelings or doing something that will upset someone. She might think calling you would bother you, and she doesn't want to do that. After all, you and your weird rules about your phone make it hard to know when it's appropriate to call you.”
Blake nodded his head, “Yes, I suppose you are right.”
“Of course, I am.” She giggled and he chuckled along with her.
The bell rang to give them a five minute warning before classes would begin again.
“Shit.” Blake mumbled under his breath as he realized that neither of them had eaten.
Adonia laughed, “Let's take the tray back.” She put her tray on top of his own and they walked together towards the cafeteria.
Blake chuckled about the meal as well, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they walked together.
“Be careful, people might think we are a couple.” Adonia joked.
“Good.” He kissed her forehead as they approached the cafeteria, but as he did so Adonia came to a grinding halt.
Looking up from her, he saw Riane standing with Julian and the other two. They were staring at the two who were obviously being more than just friends. Not saying a word, Riane turned to walk to her class.
“Wait up!” Seth yelled as he tossed his tray onto the pile. “I'm going your way!”
Julian and Dalen were left behind as the latter's classes were in the opposite direction, and Julian had no plans of going to class. They both began to walk in different directions, and Julian walked passed the couple.
He chuckled as he walked passed Blake. “Just love your secrets, eh?”
Blake handed the tray to Adonia, and turned toward the man that was walking away from him. “What could you possibly know about me?”
“Blake, don't engage him. That's what he wants.” Adonia begged.
Julian stopped and turned to him. “I know you're an ass. Lying to your friend, and sending your girlfriend to do your dirty work.”
“I went on my own. Blake thought I was going to the bathroom.” She snapped at him. “Stay out of our business, Julian.”
Blake chuckled, “Look at you. Ponytail, printed t-shirt, blue jeans, and a leather jacket could you be anymore of a cliché bad boy. Watch a lot of eighties movies growing up?”
Julian smirked back, “Says the preppy kid. You are only missing a sweater tied around your neck.”
“Blake, we will be late for class.” Adonia warned.
“No, I want to know what his problem is with me.” Blake snapped.
“He has a crush on me, and now he knows we are together. That's his problem.” She touched his upper arm. “Blake, come on. He's just jealous, that's all.”
Julian snorted, “So full of herself... or are you filled up with him.” He watched Blake lurch forward but knew he would do nothing. “Yeah, I thought you were all bark.” With that said, he turned his back on them and walked away.
Her desk was also white and vases with fresh flowers were placed around the room. She had a fireplace all to herself that her father never allowed her to use. That didn't matter though as it made the room look beautiful. Her bed was placed in the center of the room with dressers, a vanity, and her desk framing around it in the large room.
As she sat at her desk finishing her schoolwork, her phone buzzed as it was on silent. She looked at the screen of her cellphone at yet another photo that Seth had sent her. She had only been around them for one day and they were treating her like an old friend. Julian, Seth, and Dalen had a group conversation going with her and they would send random photos or thoughts throughout the evening.
Julian even assisted with his friend's homework which helped her since she was taking similar classes to them. The best part was he didn't just give the answers, he explained everything easily and if a friend didn't understand he would call them to explain over the phone or video chat to show them. He did it for her once that evening already over her math work.
Blake studied by himself all afternoon when he got home from school, and he would come over to her house on weekends to do study group or just to enjoy the day. At his home, all electronics were put in a basket upon entering the house, so she could never communicate with him until the one hour before his bedtime when he got his phone back. Even then he wasn't much of a texter or chatter over the phone.
She wondered what would happen at school the next day. She didn't know how to face Blake and make him stop seeing her as his little brother. They were the same age, and yet she was treated like a child, but she feared the idea of walking around the school alone.
Riane wasn't the type to hold a grudge for long and she knew that by tomorrow, she would be walking beside Blake again to her classes. As much as she wanted to tell him to stop and tell him that she was a girl, she feared for her friendship with him. She never understood why Blake insisted that she was a boy. She understood that she hadn't corrected him for three years about her gender, but her own mother had been trying to make her a boy in her father's eyes and it had been confusing time for her.
Blake had never talked about it with her. He saw the bikini, they swam around and laughed, and he never asked her anything. She had to tell him why she was the way she was, and he didn't really seem to want to hear it. He didn't even like her saying that she was female to him or anyone else, though he did not correct her just appeared annoyed or uncomfortable.
Sometimes she wondered what would happen if she did as her father instructed, and started wearing clothes for women. Tight jeans and a real bra not a sports bra that flattened her out as much as it could. No more baggy clothes like her mother instructed.
She always wanted to try them on and go outside in a dress, but once the dress went on she felt strange as if she was hurting her mother somehow. The dress would always go back into the closest and she wouldn't look at it again.
“Almost done?” Joe came into the room and tossed herself on the bed. “My mom says that dinner is almost ready, and your dad left for his trip. So, at least you'll be able to eat breakfast for a couple weeks without him barking at you.”
Her phone buzzed again and she looked at it.
“Is that Blake? This isn't his phone time, is it?” She checked her own cellphone for the time as she sat up and put her feet on the ground but continued to sit on the bed.
“No, it's the guys.” Riane told her. “They send stupid pictures and comments to each other, but also help each other with homework. Julian seems to tutor everyone. Seth and Dalen told me that they get B's and A's because he is such a good teacher.”
“Huh, who would have thought?” Joe chuckled. “You have really taken a shine to them, haven't you? You usually aren't able to let people in unless you know them really well for a long time.”
Riane shrugged her shoulders as she kept her back to her friend and continued her homework. “They are relaxed and easy to get to know. Plus, everyone else has predefined expectations of me, because everyone knows about my... condition. It's fun.”
“They still think you are a boy though. Is that really ok? I mean look at what happened when Blake found out, it is like he tries to pretend he doesn't know the truth.” Joe sighed. “I do not know how anyone could think you are a boy, anyway. You look like a girl, you talk like a girl, you act like a girl, but throw on some boy clothes and it is like no one notices.”
“Maybe it is because you know I am a girl, and therefore that is all you see. They 'know' I am a boy and so that is all they see.” Riane closed her book and turned her chair around to face her friend.
“I suppose, but explain Blake then.” Joe laid back on the bed but let her feet dangle.
Walking over to the bed, Riane lay on her back beside her. “You said it yourself. Denial.”
There was a momentary silence, before Joe spoke again. “Do you still like him?”
Riane nodded her head, “I do.”
They both sighed in unison.
Joe turned her head to look at her friend, “What are we going to do about that, Riane? Eventually, you are going to have to tell him how you really feel, and he might not take too well to that.”
“I know.” She sighed loudly. “I don't know. I think him and Adonia have something going on. They flirt a lot with each other, and he spent a lot of time with her on at the ranch over the summer. Suddenly, we start school and she is eating lunches with us instead of with her friends more than half the time now.”
“Would he keep something like that from you?” Joe propped herself on one elbow so she could look at her friend. “That doesn't seem like Blake.”
“I thought not either, but... he...” She inhaled deeply, “Today, he told me that I am a burden to him sometimes, and he went to Adonia's party this weekend and didn't tell me because he wanted space away from me.”
“Ass, but also kind of true. People need breaks from one another.”
“I know, and I really wouldn't have minded if he said he wanted to go alone.” She reached over and grabbed a small violet heart shaped pillow to hug. “Before Adonia came into our lives, he always told me that he was happy to help me and when I called myself a burden he would get mad and tell me that this was his choice and I was his best friend. Now, suddenly, I am a burden that he lies to about stupid parties.”
“Now, I am pissed.” Joe sat up entirely and gripped the bed comforter on either side of her legs. “Should I call him and give him a piece of my mind?”
“Please, don't. He has enough pieces of your mind, at this point he might have more of it than you do.” Riane teased and they both laughed.
“Fine, fine.”
“Seth and Dalen wanted to meet you. They asked me to introduce you to them.” Riane sat up next to her friend and put the pillow back.
“I know, I heard. Why did you think I jumped in the car and drove off so fast?”
Riane giggled, “I thought so.”
---***---
In the entertainment room, Bryce and Zachary sat on the couch with controllers in their hands and a split screen racing game on the large flat screen television that was across the room and hung on the wall. Occasionally, one of them would try to play with the other one's controls.
Julian sat in the recliner but with his feet dangling over the armrest. He was staring at his phone and grinning from time to time. A couple times he had left the room for the evening presumably to help one of his friends with their homework.
“You've been at that a lot longer than usual.” Bryce finally commented on it. “What is up with Seth and Dalen?”
“They have a new friend that hasn't seen all their photos and internet memes, so they are blowing up my phone.” Julian informed him.
“I'm surprised you didn't go over to Dalen's house today.” Bryce said before pumping his arm at his victory. “Suck it!”
Zachary frowned, “Best four out of five.”
“I wanted to talk to mom about the arranged marriage, and afterward I didn't feel like going out.” Julian sighed.
“Are you really going to marry some girl you don't know?” Zachary asked as he picked what track he wanted to race on.
“We will know each other. I basically have to date her until she breaks up with me.” He typed something on his phone while he was talking to them.
“That should be easy enough.” Bryce teased. “You've been my brother for eighteen years and I have wanted to break up with you the entire time.”
Zachary chuckled and then added. “I can't imagine a girl wanting to spend more than a couple weeks with you.”
Julian looked up at his phone with a slight grin. “You think so? Like who would want to marry me, right? She'll break up with me and this hellish nightmare will end.”
“It's no fun if you take our insults as helpful advice.” Bryce growled before the race on the television began.
Julian turned his attention back to his phone and texted his friends. “It was my dad that set up the arranged marriage.”
“That sucks.” Was the reply he got from Seth and Dalen.
“Jinx!” They both replied again at nearly the same time.
“No, I jinxed first!” Seth quickly retorted, and Julian had no doubt that he would have shouted it if they were together in person.
“No, I did! You're jinxed!” Dalen replied.
“See, now we have both talked. You fucking ruin everything!” Seth texted. “You are buying me a soda tomorrow.”
“Fuck you, no.”
“Aren't you two in the same fucking house? Do you need to text this?” Julian asked, and no reply came so he figured they looked up from their phones to argue with each other.
After a couple seconds, Seth replied. “What not interested to see who wins?”
“Your lover's spat? No.” Julian snapped back.
It took several moments after that but Riane finally replied. “I am sure the girl will be just as bummed as you are. I know I am not looking forward to meeting whoever my dad picks for me.”
“So, she might just agree and then dump me if I asked?” Julian texted the question and no reply came for more than five minutes. “My dad says she has to end it or I lose my inheritance.” He added.
Riane replied quickly to that. “Maybe? Depends on her, I suppose.”
“Fuck, you two are dull. Seth and I are out. See you tomorrow at school.” Dalen texted.
“I have to go too. Dinner.” Riane added and then would not reply again for the rest of the evening.
Looking up from his phone, Julian sighed loudly before standing up and walking out of the entertainment room. He found his mother sitting at the dining room table and looking at something on her tablet.
“Deciding my future?” He asked as he sat down across from her at the long table that was completely empty.
Nanette looked up at her son. “You know this might not be the worst thing in the world to happen to you. I am not just trying to pick someone who is pretty or smart, I am trying to find someone that you will get along with and have fun.”
“I don't get along with my brothers, and you think you can find that in a stranger?” Julian snorted.
“You get along with them more than you realize.” She smirked.
“I don't really get along with girls. Maybe only to get them into bed, but after that I don't know what to do with them. They are stupid and annoying.” Julian gritted his teeth near the end.
Nanette frowned, “Maybe if you treated them as nicely as you did before you slept with them, there wouldn't be an issue.”
“You ever think of just asking me to stop bringing dates around, before allowing father more control over my life? Seriously, threatening me with the money you two purposely put aside for me is just a dick move.” Julian leaned forward and pressed his elbows against the table.
“Dick move?” Nanette sounded frustrated. “Your father has thrown out drugged up girls, who have either been completely nude or flashed your little brother. This has happened multiple times, and that is not a dick move?”
“You always said, you don't justify bad behavior with bad behavior.” He was being a smart ass and he knew it.
She slowly shook her head. “I have asked and pleaded with you when it comes to your dating choices, and these girls you bring home are beneath you. You refuse to listen and you refuse any girls that I ask you to date and get to know. No, instead you want to make our family into a laughing stock and claim all the attention for yourself; negative attention is your drug, son. I am done with it.”
Julian chuckled bitterly, “Do you think some good girl is going to suddenly make me into a better person? Have you been reading too many romance novels?”
She sighed, “I do not know what I hope, Jules. It was either this or tossing you out with nothing, and I decided to try this first. Please, don't screw this up.”
Julian stared at his mother for several moments, “Seth is in an arranged marriage. He says she is nice but he has only met her twice. Sounds real happy, right? A true love story in the making.” He watched his mother give him an exhausted look. “Ryan says his dad will put him in one as well. He says that that's how his father plans on controlling him. Maybe he is right about that. Maybe this whole thing is just about you wanting to control my life, and make big decisions for me for your vanity.”
“I suppose you are right, but that isn't going to change my mind.” Nanette crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair. They sat quietly for a moment, “Who is Ryan? A new friend?”
Julian decided to change the subject as this seemed like it was going no where. “Yeah. Well, we didn't get along much until today. He's cool. His dad is that asshole, Simon Nairne. Always, trying to control him.” He stood up from the table and walked out of the room.
Nanette rose an eyebrow, she knew Simon's wife and she was well aware that her son was only ten and was Simon's only son. He had an older daughter that went to the university. She had heard she dressed like a boy a great deal. Either his new friend, Ryan, was a liar or her son was mistaken about his new friend's gender.
She thought to tell him as he walked out of the room, but instead she chuckled and decided to let him find out for himself. It would be a life lesson.
---***---
Climbing into the black car, Riane inhaled as she tossed her backpack into the backseat and put her seat belt on. She leaned back in her chair and looked at her friend who had begun to drive her away from her house.
“Worried about Blake?” Joe asked as they pulled out passed the gate and onto the street.
Riane slowly shook her head, “No, I am going to accept his apology and forget about it. I suppose he was right to not want me there, I just wish he had said so instead of lying to me.”
Joe nodded her head, then decided to give Riane her quiet time before classes so she could meditate and calm herself. She listened to her inhaled deeply through her mouth and then exhaled slowly through her nose.
At least this morning, Riane did not have to deal with her father and was able to eat. She could never relax around her father, and always had to seem like she was doing something productive. If she seemed to be having fun then he would assign her extra work.
Riane loved to play her piano, and she could play several other instruments. When her father learned that she wanted to attend school for the liberal arts, he removed all the instruments from the house and told her to study something that would be useful in the real world.
Joe remembered that crushing day when Riane couldn't even cry as her beloved instruments were yanked away from her. She never talked about them to anyone after that either. It was almost like a death had occurred in her life, and she was too traumatized to mention it.
Pulling up to the university, Riane noticed Blake waiting for her at the gate. She smiled to Joe and said her goodbyes, as she got out of the car and pulled her backpack out of the backseat.
As she walked over to him, Adonia was revealed to be standing beside him. Her heart dropped, as she thought she couldn't have one moment alone with him anymore.
“Hey.” Riane said as she came to stand in front of the two of them.
“Hey.” Blake responded.
“Hello, are you alright today?” Adonia asked with concern in her voice. “I could barely sleep all night, because I was worried but I realized that I don't have your phone number. How bizarre is that? How long have we been hanging out at school, and I can't call you?” She giggled nervously. “I texted Blake, but you know how he is with his phone. Didn't respond to me until right before bed, and told me it wasn't his number to give out.”
Riane slowly nodded her head, “Yeah, that sounds like Blake.” She said with no enthusiasm.
“I wanted you to have your space, so you could think everything over.” Blake told her. “So, are we friends still?”
Her heart ached as she thought about her next words. “Yes, we are.”
Blake grinned, “Great, I'll walk you to class.”
“Why don't you walk Adonia to class? I'll go on my own.” These words were the most frightening words she had ever spoken. Not only was she asking to walk in the crowds alone, but she was sending him away with another girl. However, she knew she had to change the way that Blake saw her.
Both Adonia and Blake stared at her like she had just spoken both something horrifying and complete nonsense at the same time.
He chuckled as the waves of students passed by them. “Don't be ridiculous. I've always walked you to class from the first day of middle school. Why would we stop now?”
“I won't need you to walk me around anymore.” Her heart pounded and she could already feel the panic welling up in her chest.
Adonia remained silent beside Blake.
“If this is about yesterday, I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean you bother me all the time, just that sometimes I want to go out by myself. I don't mind walking you around campus. In fact, I enjoy the company. So, let's go.” His voice sounded genuine even if he was not.
“I'm not a little kid, Blake. I'm not even a boy. Stop treating me like either, and don't meet me at my classes. I'm an adult. I'll handle myself.” Riane looked at their expressions of shock, though Blake's seemed to be the most horrified. It was the first time that she ever told him that she was not a boy.
With those words spoken, she hurried to follow the passing students and leave the two of them behind. Her courage in front of Blake quickly dissipated as she moved towards the court. The panic in her chest grew tighter, and she started having trouble breathing. Her mind went blank but at the same time was filled with every scenario that could possibly go wrong. Slowly, her legs lost their strength and she could barely move forward anymore.
Only Joe and Blake had the ability to keep her from falling apart in a crowd like this one, and she now regretted her decision. She hoped that Blake wouldn't listen to her and come find her, as she could no longer chant in her own mind that all she needed to do was get to her class. Once in the classroom, she would be fine, but that focus was now gone.
“You alright, Little Man?” Julian asked as he walked up behind her.
Riane shook her head as she clawed at her shirt and turned red.
“Are you choking on something?” Julian bent over and looked at her face, but she shook her head to his question. “Do you need the nurse or for me to call an ambulance?”
She once more shook her head to his question.
Placing his hand on her shoulder, he stood there with her for several moments. He didn't know that Blake or Joe would hug her tightly and rush her away from the crowd. Instead, he sat with her in that fear for several moments until she began to calm down.
“What's wrong with him?” Seth asked as he approached the two in the busy courtyard with Dalen close on his heels.
“I don't know.” Julian responded. “He doesn't want an ambulance or anything though.”
Dalen came to stand in front of her, and placed his hand on her other shoulder. “Can you not breath? Do you have asthma?”
Riane shook her head as she started to take small breaths.
“He's not as red as he was before.” Julian informed them as the other two men looked worried. “Are you starting to feel better?”
She nodded her head. “Yes.” She was barely able to say.
“Oh, is this a panic attack?” Dalen asked and watched her nod once more. “Little Man, you got a test today or something?”
Julian looked around for a moment after she shook her head, “Where is Blake? Doesn't he walk you around?”
She was slowly gaining her color back and taking breaths more often.
“You're alright.” Dalen told her flatly.
“Yeah, calm down. Try to take deep breaths.” Julian patted his back. “No need to pass out in the middle of the courtyard.”
After a couple more moments, Riane got a better hold of herself though her heart still raced without Blake or Joe beside her. “I'm alright.”
It had only been less than a few minutes since it started; to her it had been an eternity. Every second seemed like an inch away from death.
“Can you stand up?” Seth asked.
“Yeah.” She proved it by doing so. “Sorry. I don't like crowds.”
Julian chuckled, “That's the understatement of the year.”
---***---
Two weeks had come and gone, Riane would greet Blake and Adonia at the gate to be pleasant with them and then would head over to the courtyard where her three new friends would eventually find her. They never tried to rescue her, no matter which one found her. Instead, they just sat besides her and talked to her about anything other than the panic attack she was having. At times, it felt like they were getting better, but other times they were much worse than before.
Riane had stopped eating lunch with Blake and Adonia, and started to eat with Julian and his group. It was refreshing to be around people that weren't always trying to be incredibly polite to one another. While Blake and Adonia had their merits when it came to conversation, there was barely any laughter and they were always walking on egg shells for fear of hurting her feelings.
Of course, she felt like she was abandoning her old friends for her new friends, but it wasn't as if Blake or Adonia were searching her out. She hadn't received a phone call or text from Blake since that day, and he seemed more than happy to walk Adonia to class rather than her.
It was a heartbreaking truth that she did not want to admit to, but in her attempt to be female in Blake's eyes, she might have given him to another girl. She did not know what else to do, as she couldn't be a burden in his eyes any longer, but being the burden is what kept him as her own.
Sitting behind the gym while they ate their lunches, the guys talked about video games or television shows. None of which she had played or seen.
“What do you do all day when you get home?” Seth asked.
She shrugged as she swallowed down her fettuccine. “Homework, mostly. My father doesn't believe that time should be wasted on anything other than work or study. We have a television in our house, but it is only for my dad to use to watch the news. If we are caught using our laptops or cellphones for games they will be confiscated.”
“I thought my dad was an ass.” Julian shook his head slowly. “So, hey, I've been meaning to bring this up, but I never knew you were friends with Adonia Fulke.”
“I guess we are friends because we are both friends with Blake, but I wouldn't call her close to me.” She took a drink of her soda from the can. “Why?”
“He has been... oh what is the proper term... pining! Pining for this young lady for months now.” Dalen teased.
After giving his friend a glare, he turned back to Riane. “She seeing anyone?”
“Other than your brother?” Seth added and laughed when Julian punched him in the arm.
Riane slowly shook her head, “I don't know. She and Blake might be seeing each other, but if they are they aren't telling me.”
“Why not?” Julian seemed disgusted to hear such a thing.
“I don't know, maybe he blames me for the girlfriends he had in high school. All of them thought we were too close and would get insanely jealous.” She put a forkful of her noodles in her mouth.
“Why? He is straight, right? So, they didn't want their boyfriend hanging out with his friend?” Julian rolled his eyes. “This is why girls are so fucking stupid. Jealous over two friends.”
“Adonia is a girl.” Dalen reminded him, “Is she fucking stupid?”
He didn't seem to like being reminded of that, and flipped his friend off.
“Speaking of the devil.” Seth pointed in the direction behind Riane and Julian who were sitting next to each other.
“There you are.” Adonia said loudly as she approached. “I have been looking all over for you. Let's talk.”
Riane realized that something very bad could happen in this moment. Adonia referred to her in feminine form, and if she said anything to these guys about her everything would end.
Jumping up, Riane hurried over to her friend. “We'll be right back!” She shouted to them before rushing her friend across the grass to another building of the school.
“What? What was that about?” Adonia questioned with shock in her eyes.
“They think I am male. Don't call me 'she' or 'her' in front of them. What do you want?” Riane asked before realizing that she wasn't talking in the way she should to Adonia. She cleared her throat, “Oh, sorry. That... that was a rude way to phrase myself.”
“I'll say.” Adonia seemed to calm herself. “Riane, what is going on here? Why would you toss us aside for those punks? Do you realize how hurt Blake is?”
Riane looked at her friend for a moment. “Why is Blake hurt? I'm not bothering him or causing him any trouble. He doesn't have to worry about me anymore.”
She seemed angry that Riane would even ask such a question. “You are his best friend, and suddenly, without any warning, you aren't. He never gets an explanation but instead just sees you running around with those morons. Morons that pick on you constantly.”
“Aren't you dating Julian's older brother?” Riane knew this was a cheap trick to find out if something was going on between her and Blake, but it seemed like it could be a valid question as well.
“Bryce? No, we are just friends during basketball season.” She sighed, “Are those idiots saying I am dating his brother? That's how rumors start, you know?”
“Well, what is it that you want from me?” Riane asked after a brief pause in the conversation. She wanted to get back to her friends, and didn't realize that she was once again speaking in a more blunt fashion.
Adonia seemed to ignore the way she asked, and moved right to the heart of the matter. “Would it be so awful to have lunch with us? It doesn't even have to be every day just like two or three times a week?”
Riane shrugged her shoulders, and looked over at her friends when she noticed movement. Julian was making his way over as if he was somehow invited into the conversation. Though from Julian's point of view, it looked like Adonia was scolding her child.
“Hey, Adonia.” Julian nodded his head once as he approached her.
“This conversation isn't for you, pothead.” She snapped at him. “If you try to hit on me, I swear I won't hold back.”
“Someone has a high opinion of herself.” Julian snorted as he came to stand next to Riane. “You don't look so relaxed. Your shoulders are about to touch your ears.” He told her, then looked at Adonia. “Do you see how tense you make him?”
She decided to ignore him and continue her conversation. “Ryan, please. Come eat lunch with us. We miss having you around. Blake really wants to talk to you more than a brief conversation at the gate.”
“He has a phone. He can call him or text him, can't he? Or does he only have one of those special phones that only can get calls and text but not send them?” Julian chuckled and looked at Riane who smirked slightly. “Or perhaps you are his only form of communication at a distance? Send the Adonia to bring back his little friend?”
Adonia sighed, “Here.” She held out a piece of paper. “It is my number. If you want to eat lunch, or talk then please text me.”
Julian and Riane watched as she walked away, before Riane looked up at him. “That is how you treat the girl you like? It was as if she was enemy number one.”
He shrugged, “I figure since she didn't like me when I was sucking up to her, I'll just act like myself.”
“That's a horrible idea, really.” Riane teased as they both began to walk back to the other two.
“Ah, girls suck anyway.”
---***---
Blake sat by himself on the steps that he and Riane had been using all school year. Adonia had left her tray with him while she went to the bathroom.
He wondered if having Adonia join them for lunches could have hurt his friend's feelings. Riane didn't care for new people, and he had to admit Adonia was rather pushy. He liked her a great deal, after all she was kind, smart, beautiful, and most of all she didn't mind his friendship with Riane.
Of course, when Riane said she didn't need his help anymore, she never mentioned Adonia. Instead, she pointed to him. He thought about the moment she said she wasn't a boy over and over again, before asking himself why she never told him that when they were younger. Why was she perfectly content to be called 'he' until this very year.
If felt weird to think of his friend as anything but a guy. Perhaps it was because he had known Riane for three years as a male before realizing that she was female. He could never understand why he didn't talk to her about what was going on, and by the time he realized he should have it felt too late. It felt comfortable and he thought he was doing everything right.
Everything would have been as it was if he hadn't lied to his friend in the first place. Worst yet, he was still lying by not telling him that he was in a relationship with Adonia. Instead, he passed her off as his flirty friend. That was not fair to either of the girls.
In truth, Riane was the one that saved him from loneliness and despair. His family lived on the other side of the country. His father was a self-made man who became a shipping magnate after buying eight wheelers and other supply transportation trucks in his youth.
When he started middle school in the sixth grade, he was sent to Cerulean Harbor to live with a woman who was paid to watch him. His father, mother, and two sisters would visit him from time to time, but his father wanted him to make business contacts in a place where all the powerful sent their children.
On his first day of school, he was so afraid and lonely and when he saw a little boy afraid to go inside the school he immediately pinpointed a common ally. He was able to help the boy with his fears people and crowds while his fear of abandonment was alleviated. He had someone at his side at all times, and perhaps he was too harsh when he said he wanted time to not think about his friend. It made it seem like he received nothing from their friendship.
Going home to an empty apartment was difficult now that his babysitter was no longer necessary. Putting his phone and keys on the table next to the front door in order to do his homework, cook his meal, and clean up after himself. It was an old habit he learned growing up to not use his cellphone while at home unless someone called him.
His home was the loneliest place in the world, and he hated the quiet of that apartment. Though, he never invited people to his home. Not even Riane had been to his home. He always made excuses to keep people from seeing that his parents weren't with him, even if he told them they weren't. Something about showing his friends such things made them more real.
“So, I lied.” Adonia's voice broke through his thoughts and he looked up at her as she walked over to pick up her tray.
“Huh?”
“I went to find Ryan.” She admitted, “She is pretending to be male with those guys, and basically told me not to correct them.”
“Oh.” He didn't understand. Why would she tell him that she isn't a boy, then pretend to be one with a new set of friends? She was also not much of a liar, she just didn't like to correct people because she was afraid they would dislike her. If what Adonia said was true then Riane was actively lying to these new friends of hers.
“Julian came to her rescue when I tried to convince her to eat with us. He did have a good point though about you calling her if you wanted to talk to her.” Adonia sat down on the step next to Blake who had yet to touch his meal. “Did you wait for me before you ate? That is so kind, but you shouldn't have.”
“Oh, it is alright.” He started to eat his fettuccine.
“Did you hear me?” She watched his turn his head toward her. “Why don't you call Ryan and ask her to eat with us? Maybe if you reached out all this nonsense would end, and we could go back to being friends again.”
“I think he... she needs space.” Blake sighed as he stared down at his meal. He wasn't really hungry and hadn't been for a couple weeks now.
“Starving yourself to death won't make her talk to you.” Adonia warned. “Someone needs to break the silence, and I don't think it will be her. She's far too afraid of hurting someone's feelings or doing something that will upset someone. She might think calling you would bother you, and she doesn't want to do that. After all, you and your weird rules about your phone make it hard to know when it's appropriate to call you.”
Blake nodded his head, “Yes, I suppose you are right.”
“Of course, I am.” She giggled and he chuckled along with her.
The bell rang to give them a five minute warning before classes would begin again.
“Shit.” Blake mumbled under his breath as he realized that neither of them had eaten.
Adonia laughed, “Let's take the tray back.” She put her tray on top of his own and they walked together towards the cafeteria.
Blake chuckled about the meal as well, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they walked together.
“Be careful, people might think we are a couple.” Adonia joked.
“Good.” He kissed her forehead as they approached the cafeteria, but as he did so Adonia came to a grinding halt.
Looking up from her, he saw Riane standing with Julian and the other two. They were staring at the two who were obviously being more than just friends. Not saying a word, Riane turned to walk to her class.
“Wait up!” Seth yelled as he tossed his tray onto the pile. “I'm going your way!”
Julian and Dalen were left behind as the latter's classes were in the opposite direction, and Julian had no plans of going to class. They both began to walk in different directions, and Julian walked passed the couple.
He chuckled as he walked passed Blake. “Just love your secrets, eh?”
Blake handed the tray to Adonia, and turned toward the man that was walking away from him. “What could you possibly know about me?”
“Blake, don't engage him. That's what he wants.” Adonia begged.
Julian stopped and turned to him. “I know you're an ass. Lying to your friend, and sending your girlfriend to do your dirty work.”
“I went on my own. Blake thought I was going to the bathroom.” She snapped at him. “Stay out of our business, Julian.”
Blake chuckled, “Look at you. Ponytail, printed t-shirt, blue jeans, and a leather jacket could you be anymore of a cliché bad boy. Watch a lot of eighties movies growing up?”
Julian smirked back, “Says the preppy kid. You are only missing a sweater tied around your neck.”
“Blake, we will be late for class.” Adonia warned.
“No, I want to know what his problem is with me.” Blake snapped.
“He has a crush on me, and now he knows we are together. That's his problem.” She touched his upper arm. “Blake, come on. He's just jealous, that's all.”
Julian snorted, “So full of herself... or are you filled up with him.” He watched Blake lurch forward but knew he would do nothing. “Yeah, I thought you were all bark.” With that said, he turned his back on them and walked away.