07-18-2015, 04:37 PM
“I have done everything I can to find the owners of the dog!” Ayanna announced as they were all sitting around the breakfast table. “I am going to keep her!” Her attention turned to Noah. “You promised to help me come up with a name when I decided.”
He had food in his mouth and simply nodded in reply.
Neither Tristan nor Aven seemed interested in Ayanna's little announcement. They both continued to eat their meal in silence.
“What about Aergia?” Noah asked and when Ayanna gave him a questioning look, he replied. “She's a Greek goddess; the personification of laziness.”
She laughed. “That's so mean.”
“Keeping with the theme; Caligo was the mother of chaos. Horme is the personification of energetic activity. Epione is the goddess of soothing. Nyx is the daughter of chaos. Peone...”
“Nyx? I kind of like that. Unique but kind of hip.” Ayanna looked at her sister, “What do you think Aven?”
“Whatever.”
“Nyx it is then.” She returned to eating her meal. “You know a great deal about Greek gods, Noah.”
“I have always had a fascination with religions around the world. It's a bit of a hobby of mine.” He turned the conversation to Aven. “After breakfast, come up to my apartment. I have to discuss something with you.”
“Couldn't you have discussed it this morning?” Aven asked behind her wall of hair.
That question made Tristan's blood boil as he was reminded once more that his comfortable person was being touched by this giant tool of a man.
“Don't be difficult.” Noah responded and took notice of how Tristan had become tense when Aven had asked the question.
Ayanna giggled. “I don't think she knows any other way.”
“I've seen her less difficult in recent days.” Noah winked at her.
“I'm done.” Tristan stood up from the table with his meal half eaten and headed back down into the basement without another word.
Noah knew that he was upset, but the two girls looked confused over his sudden exit. “I guess Tristan is sensitive to innuendo.”
Ayanna laughed at the joke, but Aven continued to stare at the door. She was curious why it had bothered him so much. He seemed to hold emotion on his face that was normally a barren land.
“I have a question.” Ayanna began. “Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend or what?” She saw the horrified looks that were given between the two of them and decided to explain why she was asking. “I mean I introduced you to Jeremy as a tenant, that was the right thing to do, correct?”
“Yes, thank you for being considerate.” He smiled. “Aven and I... well, we are still figuring out...”
“We are just having sex.” Aven interrupted as she didn't want Noah to have to lie to her sister. “There is no relationship between us other than that.”
Ayanna was surprised to hear her sister would be in that sort of relationship, but she couldn't object to it's morality because of her own life. She also knew it wasn't her place, Aven was an adult and could make her own decisions. “Oh, well, alright. I am sorry if it seemed like I was butting in where I didn't belong. I just wanted to make sure you weren't offended that I didn't introduce you properly.”
“You did the right thing.” Noah smiled at her once more before he began to eat his meal again. The room fell into silence which was a strange environment for everyone but Aven.
Aven looked at the clock on the wall above Noah's couch. “I have work in ten minutes.” She informed him as he changed in his bedroom.
He stepped out of the room with only a pair of slacks on and his black dress shirt in hand. At breakfast, he had simply worn his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He had become more relaxed in the house and was slowly allowing the people he lived with to see him when he wasn't completely dressed up. “I want us to start going on outings.”
“Outings?”
“Yes, you and me. I want us to head out and examine the world together.” He tossed his shirt onto the couch and returned to the bedroom. When he reappeared he was wearing a white under shirt.
“That sounds like too much of a date. I think it would be inappropriate for our relationship.” Aven already knew that she was beginning to feel some sparks and the last thing she wanted to do was add fuel to her soon to be blazing fire.
Putting on his shirt, he began to slowly button it up to ensure that he didn't miss any buttons. “I just want to see you in different social settings. Don't worry, I'll be completely professional. I know that these aren't part of the standard rules for fuck buddies, but let's call ourselves friends with benefits from now on. Shall we?”
“What's the difference?”
He finished dressing himself and grabbed a pair of black socks that he had apparently set out for himself earlier on the couch. “Fuck buddies see each other for sex only. Friends with benefits share information about themselves, they hang out, and are basically friends but have sex. Doesn't that seem more like us?”
“I guess.”
Noah took a couple long steps so that he would be standing in front of her. Taking her hands into his own, he kissed her forehead. “I think it would resolve whatever it is that has made you feel so distant the last couple of days.”
She looked up into his eyes. “What?”
“Every since that night that we didn't sleep together. I have felt that you are holding back on me. I made the mistake of making our relationship about more than sex and interviews. The fault is mine, but if we redefine what it is we have then it would settle many uncertainties, wouldn't it?”
Aven briefly grin as she nodded her head. “Yes, I think it might.”
He kissed her forehead again, “Alright, off to work.” He playfully smacked her hip.
When Aven was gone, Noah ran his hand through his hair. He had noticed a change in her the last two days and had even realized his mistake after he had made it. Aven seemed to shy away from his touch and had even slept in her own room after they had finished with each other. He couldn't afford to let her pull away from him at this stage.
He knew that it wasn't just about the story anymore. Anything about Aven that he didn't know he could fill in with his own imagination. No at this point she was a buffer for him and something easily attainable when he needed her. It wasn't that he didn't care about her feelings, but obviously when she thought he might feel something more for her she pulled away.
It had been a stupid move on his part, not to mention all the little kisses he gave from time to time. He didn't understand what the hell he was doing anymore. Ayanna had his heart and mind all jumbled because he couldn't stop comparing her to his wife. Aven would then come to him and he would take all his feelings out on her because she would allow it.
There was only so long he could allow this to continue. Eventually, he was going to have to run away from it all or he was going to have to severe ties with the two girls while remaining in the house. Camille was the one to blame for all this. He was just fine living in his motel room, but she nagged him about finding his own place. Now, he was forced to socialize and with that came relationships and emotions.
He had allowed himself to be empty these last few years and only Camille remained his friend. Everyone else had given up on him and he had been content to live that way. He had even hoped for Camille to fail him eventually, but instead she had gotten what she wanted. He was back in the land of the living and he wanted out immediately.
The youngest sister looked a great deal like Ayanna, but with hair that more closely resembled Aven's. Noah had to remind himself that Ayanna's hair was actually dyed black and was not natural to her. She had arrived around lunch time so everyone was in the kitchen. Aven didn't have much time and had to get back to work, but that didn't seem to bother the woman who held her two year old daughter on her hip.
“What in the hell did you do to my childhood home?” Azelea snapped as she looked around the kitchen. “You two have completely destroyed it. Mom is rolling over in her grave. I can't believe you did this.” She began to walk toward the door that led upstairs.
“That's someone's apartment. Don't go in there, please.” Ayanna rushed to the door to get in her way.
Aven sat quietly and ignored her youngest sister as she finished off her cereal.
“You should have asked me first. How dare you two do this to this house! I can't believe this! I am so upset right now!” She shoved her daughter in Ayanna's arms and walked over to her eldest sister. “I can not believe you let her do this. The house means more to you than any of us, but you let her completely demolish it!”
Tristan and Noah felt uncomfortable with the situation, but neither could come up with a solution to leave. They both sat at the table and tried to eat their meal as quickly as possible. Azelea had entered into the house and started chewing her sisters out before her first foot was even in the door. There was no greetings between them what so ever.
“We had to do something, Azelea.” Ayanna explained. “With the money from the tenants, we can more easily pay the mortgage.”
“You could have gotten a job instead of whoring yourself around.” She turned to face the second eldest.
“That's so not cool to say.”
“It's true, isn't it?” She tossed her arms in the air in anger. “Don't you see how dangerous what you are doing is?”
“I'm not a whore.”
“Whether it's giving you money or paying a bill, you are rendering a sexual service for some sort of payment. That makes you a whore.” Azelea barked. “I can't believe...” She was silenced when Aven's hand hit the table causing everything on it to shake.
Aven stood up and looked at her sister. “You will shut up this instant.”
“No! You will....”
“Shut up!” Aven shouted which caught everyone by surprise. “When is the last time you made a mortgage payment on this house? Never, that's when. This is not your house. This is my house and I will burn it to the fucking ground if I damn well want to. As for Ayanna, you need to shut your goddamn mouth! She's allowed to have her own life and make her own decisions. Don't come into my home and think you can dictate what goes on here. Are we clear?”
Azelea opened her mouth to argue further but then closed it, before she finally responded. “Fine.” She took her daughter from her other sister.
“Are you staying the night?” Aven asked and watched her sister nod. “You can sleep in my room. I'm going back to work, so keep your voices down.”
Azelea left to get her bags as soon as Aven left the kitchen. Ayanna smirked and then looked over at the boys. “That was the real Aven for a moment. The big sister that bosses us around.” She clapped her hands excitedly before sitting back down at the table to eat.
Azelea and Ayanna had disappeared into the back rooms and when Tristan was certain that he could catch Aven alone, he knocked gently on the door. He didn't hear her talking and assumed that she was no longer working. It had been four hours since lunch but her hours were often strange.
The door opened and Aven looked at the tall blonde before her. She stepped into the kitchen and shut the door behind her. “I can't watch a movie tonight.”
“Ah... I know.” He tried to gather his words. “You were angry earlier. I wanted to check and make sure... well, I guess to see if you are ok.”
A sad grin appeared on her lips briefly. “Yeah, Azelea gets me worked up sometimes. Don't worry, sisters are like that with each other. She just needs to be kicked in the ass from time to time.”
He gently nodded his head.
Aven moved into the kitchen when she noticed that Ayanna hadn't done the dishes yet. She sighed and decided to wash them since her sister was attending to the other one. Turning on the faucet, she held her fingers under the water until it ran lukewarm.
Tristan watched her for several seconds, before walking over to the sink. “I'll dry.” He said as he grabbed the towel from the counter.
“Thank you.”
He continued to watch her as she cleaned their lunch plates. Her eyes didn't look up at him not even when she passed him an item to dry. He could see her long eyelashes and she seemed thoughtful in those moments. All Tristan could think of was how beautiful she was despite her obvious flaws. The deep beating of his heart drowned out all the discomfort that came with feeling that way.
Whenever she passed him an item to dry, he would purposely touch her fingers. It gave him a jolt that went straight to his heart each time. He also stood a little closer than he needed to in hopes that their shoulders would accidentally bump into each other.
Later, he knew he would think back on this moment and realize how childish he was being, but for now he enjoyed the moment. He was lost when it came to the nuances of creating and maintaining even friendships let alone a romantic relationship. There had never been a real girlfriend in his life and all he ever had was the girls that were forced on him either by his band mates or to spark conversation in the general public for their band.
He was twenty seven years old and he had no idea how to do something that he had seen teenage boys accomplish. Worse yet, the girl that he wanted was already in the arms of another. It only complicated the matter, because he didn't know how to steal another man's woman.
Another man's woman? He had thought. Noah had no right to be with her. He wasn't comfortable like he was, so why would she chose him? He had been told in the past that he needed to be more aggressive with women and he wondered if that had been the case here. Did Noah just make the move first? She couldn't possibly have feelings for a man like that?
Noah was obnoxious and loud. He was Aven's complete opposite, so how could there be any common ground between them? Tristan knew that he was like Aven. They shared a common energy.
“All done.” Aven spoke and broke his thoughts.
Tristan realized that he had been staring at her the entire time, but Aven didn't seem bothered by it. He didn't even know if she had noticed.
“I have to take a shower before bed.” She told him and headed over to the door.
“A... Aven?”
She stopped and looked back at him.
“Can you... We can watch a movie tomorrow?”
She smiled gently. “I'll make time for you.”
As soon as Aven was out of the kitchen, Noah's door opened. He looked over at Tristan who was still standing by the sink. “Hey, buddy.”
Tristan didn't reply to him and began to make his way down to his apartment.
“Stealing my girl tomorrow?” Noah had been in the stairway toward the end of their time together and had chosen not to disturb them.
“She's not yours.” He had his back to the man that had made his way over to the refrigerator.
Pulling out the milk, Noah poured himself a glass before putting it away again. “You really like her, don't you?” He leaned his bottom against the counter top.
“Not any of your business.”
After taking a large gulp of his milk, he continued to speak. “We are just fuck buddies. There is no need for you to be jealous of me.”
Tristan didn't respond, but he didn't attempt to leave either. He feared whatever Noah had to say, but knew he should hear it.
“There is plenty of space for you to squeeze your way in. Think of me like layaway. No other guy can take her while I have her on hold for you.” He finished off his milk and set the glass in the sink.
Turning around, Tristan was enraged. “She's not some item you can put on layaway.”
“Did the phrase offend you?” He smirked. “It's rather accurate though, isn't it? With as slow as you move, you won't even steal your first kiss until she's an old maid.”
Clenching his teeth, Tristan tried to remain calm. He knew that punching someone was not acceptable and it would be even worse with a roommate. He had gone through all the programs including anger management.
“You look pretty upset right now.” Noah straightened himself out and looked the man in front of him over. “I don't want us to be enemies. We have to live together and tension between us would make things difficult.”
“I don't give a shit about you.”
“No, but you do about Aven. She is a clever girl, Tristan. I mean she figures people out fairly quickly. I try to play a game and she calls me out on it. If she doesn't know how you feel about her, I would be shocked.” He folded his arms. “If she doesn't, and you hit me or cause a disturbance, don't you think she'll figure it out? At the very least, they will probably kick you out.”
Tristan didn't even realize that he had clenched his fists until Noah mentioned being hit.
“Then how will you find an excuse to see her?” Noah walked over to the man in front of him and placed his hand on his shoulder. “I'm not your enemy nor you competition. When you are ready to make your move and Aven accepts, there will be no drama on my end. The moment she says that our relationship stops then it stops. Simple as that.”
Tristan curled his lip in disgust and quickly shook the man's hand off of him. “You have no right to touch her.”
“Aven gives me the right. Now, let's be friends, what do you say? I only have one friend and she's a woman. It would be nice if us guys could get along, don't you think?” When Tristan didn't answer, he continued. “I get along with Aven just fine and she's a lot like you. Don't you think that you and I could find some common ground?”
Without replying, Tristan flipped around and headed for the basement door. He slammed it shut behind him.
Noah shook his head and exhaled. For a moment there, he thought he was going to be treated to Tristan Patel's infamous temper. He knew that he was no fighter and all of his battles had to be done with words. Luckily, the other man had a very obvious weak spot that was easy to manipulate.
Ayanna smiled as she watched her younger sister play with her daughter, Deana. The two year old smiled as Azelea blew on her belly and made her break into a giggle fit. Whenever she saw her sister around her child, it always made Ayanna think about having a husband and children of her own. Normally, that idea disappeared as soon as her sister was gone, but lately she had been thinking about it without her sister's presence.
She knew there was a void in her life and that she would have to fill it herself in order to complete herself. She could see that void in Tristan as well and wondered if she could try to be more than just the land lady with him. Scott's words about her feelings only being there because she was used to Aven would haunt her mind. She questioned herself constantly about her own emotions. What she felt wasn't love, at least not yet, and she knew it well enough. She just wanted her life to change now and she knew that she would have to be the one to take that first step.
“Ayanna?”
“What?” She looked at her sister and smiled.
“You looked a little lost in thought.” Azelea allowed her daughter to play with some toys as she sat on the bed.
Ayanna's smile widened. “I was just thinking that I'd like a child of my own someday. You look happy when you are with her.”
“I never thought I'd hear you say that.” She chuckled as she stroked her daughter's hair. “Mom always thought that Aven and I would have kids, and you'd be the free spirit.” Her smile withered as she thought on her words. “I guess I am responsible for killing some of that spirit, aren't I?”
“Why would you think that?”
“I refused to move in here with Aven and made you carry the burden alone. I was really selfish for choosing a man over my sisters. I'm sorry.”
Ayanna placed her hand over her sister's that was laying on the bed. “We don't blame you for picking your own life. Besides, I think it's worked out well for us. I've grown as a person so I am happy that I had this opportunity.”
Azelea looked saddened by her sister's words. “I'm glad that you aren't angry with me.”
“What's wrong?”
“I found out that I have breast cancer.”
Ayanna was taken aback by her sister's words. “You're only twenty three!”
“I know how old I am. Cancer apparently doesn't care how old you are though.” She exhaled. “I have to have surgery, but I still haven't decided what I want them to do. If I have them just removed then I won't have to go through too much chemo, but it will take longer for me to recuperate. The doctor said just having the lumps removed with chemo is now just as affective, but I have a higher risk of getting it again afterwards. There is a bunch of other concerns as well that I won't bore you with.”
She swallowed as she listened to her sister's words, and then concern for her other sister rose in her chest. “You can't tell Aven. She wouldn't be able to handle this.”
“I thought long and hard about telling her, and I have decided that she has to know, Ayanna. I mean what would be worse? Her knowing and she is prepared for my death, or her not knowing and then one day I am just dead. I think not telling her would be just as shocking for her as when mom and Curtis died.”
“Yeah, you are probably right.” She closed her eyes as she released a deep sigh. “She has been doing so well lately. Going outside and having conversations that I just don't want her to go back into her shell.”
“How about I wait until I decide on what option I am going to take? That way she has more time.”
“I feel like we would be hiding it from her then.”
Azelea picked up a small plastic toy that had fallen off the bed and handed it back to her daughter. “Aven seems weak now, but she was always our rock when we were growing up. I think you may have forgotten how strong she really is because all you see is her weakness all day long.”
“Let's just wait. Give me time to figure out the best way to tell her.” Ayanna watched her sister nod and then turned her attention to her niece. “I'm gonna getcha!”
“Washing dishes again?” Noah had come down from his apartment to find Aven shortly after dinner had been concluded.
“I am letting her get away with this because Azelea is here. She better not make it into a habit.” She mumbled as she stood in front of the sink.
“I say you snap at her like you did to your other sister today.” He teased. “I would pay to see that again. I'm shocked that you have the ability to raise your voice, let alone chew someone out with such ferocity.”
“Azelea can be a bit overwhelming at times. She usually only responds when you can up the level even too high for her to go.” She set a dish in the second sink to be rinsed later with the others. “She's really not that bad. Normally, she doesn't visit without reason, so she is probably fighting with her husband and came here to hide for a day or two.”
“Then my first meeting with her was an emotional one for her?”
Aven looked over her shoulder at Noah who was was leaning against the kitchen table. “Try not to judge her. She is actually a lot like Ayanna and myself, but the spoiled baby of the family.”
“I'll erase my first judgments from my mind and give her a reprieve.” He watched her partially grin at his response.
Coming up behind her, he tossed his arms around her shoulders and hugged her tightly. Laying his chin on her shoulder, he watched as she attempted to do the dishes while being restrained.
“You are making this more difficult.”
Noah smirked. “So I see.”
She turned her head slightly to see him which forced Noah to pick up his head. He kissed her forehead and lowered his arms to hug her around her chest. “You're acting too cozy with me.”
“No such thing when it comes to our relationship.”
Aven rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the dishes though now it was impossible to wash anything under Noah's hold.
Lowering his head, he kissed her exposed neck several times.
“Stop.” Aven chuckled. “I'm trying to do a chore here.”
“Fine. I'll be upstairs.” He kissed her neck once more, before turning around to head for his own door. When he did so, he watched the basement door close quite quickly and realized that they had just been spied on.
Heading up the stairs to his apartment, he sat down on the couch and exhaled. He didn't know what the hell he was doing anymore. Now he was flirting with her in the kitchen where someone else could witness it.
There was no emotion behind what he was doing and he knew it, but he found himself doing these things without thinking them over. Being around Aven had become a moment to forget all on it's own. It was like reality ceased to exist for him when she was near. Perhaps it was because he knew it was no use to put the facade up so he had simply stopped trying. She had become a comfortable and emotionless place for him to hide himself.
There was no drama and there was no explaining himself. Of course, why would anyone explain themselves to a wall? It was there to protect you and hide you away from what really tormented you. There was no need to fear it unless you were the one that would have to climb it.
His smirked to himself before his thoughts turned to Ayanna. He hadn't really talked to her that day due to Azelea's appearance. He somewhat missed their meal conversations, but Azelea had taken over dinner completely. He barely got a word in. She had kept him from Ayanna and he was both annoyed and grateful for her presence.
Ayanna laid down on her bed with the phone in her hand as Scott told her about his day, but she couldn't concentrate on his words. All she could think of was the baby sleeping in Aven's room. Azelea and Deana were using the spare room since Aven seemed to sleep upstairs most of the time. Her younger sister didn't bother to ask why the room was empty and Ayanna thought it was probably because of the late hours that Aven kept.
She hadn't even told Scott about her sister's cancer and odds were because she didn't want to say the words out loud yet. In truth, she refused to even think about it at this point and decided to act like she was never told. Instead, she allowed her mind to wander with the idea of having a baby and a family.
Azelea looked so happy despite her hardship and Ayanna wondered if she could find happiness in that world as well. It had been the first time since Carlin had harmed her that she honestly thought seriously about it. All the men she was sleeping with for money didn't care about her and she had forgotten what it felt like to be loved.
“And then...” Scott laughed hard. “he said... oh this is so funny, he said...”
“I think I'm done.”
His laughter subsided. “What? I haven't even gotten to the punch line.”
“Oh, no, I'm sorry, Scott. My mind has been wandering. I have been thinking about my life and what I have been doing with it.” She told him as the thought that we don't know how much time we have left crossed her mind. She almost spoke it but knew that he would become suspicious and start asking questions. “It's time.”
“Time for what?”
“I want a real relationship with someone I can marry and have kids with. I'm done doing whatever it is I've been doing.”
Those words lightened his heart and Scott nearly fell off his own bed. “Yes! I mean, yes, that's great, of course, you should do that. That's healthy for you.”
“How much longer can I mess around like this until something really bad happens to me? I haven't had any problems with wives or disease yet, but it's only a matter of time, right? Eventually, some crazed woman will be wielding a bat or a knife at me.” She looked down at the little black dog that was cuddled up next to her thigh.
“What brought all this on?”
“Nyx has whet my appetite and then some other things have been going on that are starting to open my eyes.” She slowly stroked her hand over the folded dog and continued to watch the small puppy sleep.
He had no idea who Nyx was, but decided that was unimportant to the greater scheme of things. “Actually, I've been wanting to tell...”
“No more rich guys even if that hurts our finances. I'm done. I'll get a real job if I have to.” She inhaled deeply. “I'm going to act on my feelings for Tristan.” She stood up from the bed and walked over to her closet in order to locate some thing to wear.
“Whoa, wait. You barely know the guy.”
“I never will if I don't start putting my feelings into motion.” Her hands waved over the clothes that hung from their hangers as she tried to decide.
Scott swallowed down his heart. “Ayanna, you can't really think that a guy like that could be a serious boyfriend for you. Besides, how deep can your feelings really run for a stranger?”
“I've lived with him for a couple months now, so he isn't a stranger. Besides, aren't you the person who believes in love at first sight? What I have may only be a small spark, but it can be stoked into becoming a flame.”
For a moment, Scott thought that he should just shout his feelings out and get everything into the open. She might surprise him and make a decision that favored him in the days to come. He quickly shook the thought away as he reminded himself that he could lose his friend. He knew something between them couldn't work out, so he would just wait like he always did and encourage her.
“If your mind is set on doing this, then I will support you. What do you plan on doing?”
“Asking him to watch a movie with me.” She giggled as she pulled out the silk pink pajamas.
“Have you decided where you want our first outing to be?” Noah asked as he sat in front of his laptop and typed up some of his notes.
Aven was laying on the bed and reading Tristan's book. “I always liked the zoo. I haven't been in a long time.”
“Really? The zoo?” He chuckled as the sounds of his fingers hitting the keys filled the room. “If that's what the princess desires.”
“Don't call me princess.”
“Ah, no nicknames.” He looked down at the notebook that laid on the desk next to his laptop and then back at the computer screen. “If you gave me a nickname, what would it be?”
There was a moment of silence as Aven tried to think of a name. “I've got nothing.”
“All that build up for ntohing.” He snorted. “Good thing you aren't a writer.” He finished up what he was doing and turned in his seat to face her. “What are you reading?”
“That book about Tristan and his boy band.” She held it up so he could see the cover.
“Ah, read his but not mine.”
Aven rolled her eyes. “Jealous?”
Noah smirked and then began to crawl onto the bed. He snatched the book away from her and tossed it to the ground. Their faces were inches apart. “And what if I am?”
She tried to keep her composure even though her heart beat wildly in her chest and her body desperately wanted to swallow. Looking into his eyes, she tried to figure out if he was being serious and then she decided that it didn't even matter. “Asshole.” She shoved her hand playfully in his face and then went to fetch the book.
Noah grabbed her waist and tossed her onto the bed on her back. “Not a very original nickname. Try again.” His body was over hers and he stared down at her with a grin.
Aven tried to get up and push him away, so he snatched her wrists and held them above her head with one hand. “Are you being serious?”
“Nickname.”
“Why do you want a nickname?”
He shrugged his shoulders.
Aven giggled lightly. “What will you give me?”
“Employing the barter system, are we?” He was quiet and seemed to think for a moment. “You know I don't know what you really want, so you tell me.”
She wanted him to kiss her to see how it felt, but she knew that request would cause awkwardness between them. It was a thought that made her excited heart slow and she remembered that this was all a lie. There were no feelings from his end and she was merely a person who he could gain another moment of fame from.
“Got nothing?” Noah sat up and allowed her sit up as well.
Sitting in front of him, she wanted to lift up her hand and touch his face. She wanted to do things that were between loving partners and not friends. The more she saw him each day, the more painful it became. She should have known better than to think she could just sleep with someone and not gain any feelings for him. It was worse because Noah had to get to know her and had even started flirting with her.
Some stray hair from her ponytail was brushed behind her ear by a man's hand. “Suddenly got lost in thought, did you?” He leaned over and grabbed her book from the ground then tossed it onto the bed beside her.
Aven grinned. “I guess so. I can't think of any nickname for you, sorry.”
“Asshole will have to do then.” He teased before leaning forward and placing a kiss on her cheek. He didn't mean to do it, but his bottom lip caught the corner of her mouth which caused them both to pull back. “I apologize for that.”
She shook her head and then smiled. “How are your notes coming along?”
Tristan knew he shouldn't have agreed to watch a movie with the annoying woman, but his heart felt like it was shattered. Noah had said there was no real relationship between him and Aven, yet that was not what he saw in the kitchen earlier. She had looked content and perhaps even happy in another man's arms. He had allowed himself to believe that she was suffering through whatever torment that Noah put her in, but he knew now that he had been delusional.
His comfortable person was comfortable with someone else. He wanted to roll up in a corner and die. Had Noah been lying to him? Do people who only use each other for sex really cuddle and flirt in that manner? He knew he was no expert in relationships, but to him that looked a lot deeper than his male roommate had led on. Even Noah seemed different when he thought that there was no witnesses to his little flirt fest.
Tristan was devastated. He thought for certain that he could sway her heart with his equality to her, but instead she was moved by that thing. Noah was as much as a washed up nobody as he was, so why was it that Aven would look to him?
He wasn't really certain why he had agreed to watch a movie with Ayanna, but part of him didn't want to be alone with his heartbreak. Even if the annoying woman was going to ask him a hundred different questions that were already answered in the movie, he would rather suffer through it than live with his unfamiliar emotions.
He hadn't been paying attention to the movie or the girl sitting beside him as he thought over his feelings. It wasn't until she was leaning her arm against his own that he broke through his own mind and looked to her.
“What are you doing?” He asked as he looked down at the dark haired woman beside him.
Ayanna grabbed the remote and paused the movie before spinning around on the couch so she could face him. “Don't you feel it?”
He looked confused.
“Isn't there an attraction between us?”
Tristan's heart sank deeper if that was at all possible. He had heard this speech before but this time it was with a woman that he paid rent to. Of course, he should have seen it coming since she was wearing those strange pajamas.
“No.” He replied.
Ayanna giggled. “You're being shy, aren't you?” Leaning in, she gently kissed his lips and then looked up at him.
Tristan knew it was wrong, but in this light she vaguely resembled her sister. His heart had no fight left in it and he decided to do what he had always done, let them have their way. If she was going to do this to him then so be it, what was the point of waiting for the other woman that was simply toying with him whether she knew it or not?
She began to kiss him and this time it was deeper. Tristan didn't really respond much, but what little he did seemed to be enough for her. Before he knew it, his pants had been pulled down to his knees and Ayanna's were completely gone. She straddled him and continued to kiss him. He didn't raise his hands up to touch her or really encourage her actions in anyway.
When she reached her peak, she breathed heavily into his ear as her forehead rested on his temple. “Did you cum? Do you need me to keep going?”
He had to find a better way than he usually did since this woman was his land lady. Normally, he would accuse the girl of forcing herself on him so he wouldn't have to face what was apparently shame in the male world. This time, he needed tact.
“It's nothing against you, but I just don't do that.”
Ayanna looked surprised for a moment. “Should I go down...”
“No, it just doesn't happen for me.” He gently pushed her off him and pulled up his pants, before grabbing the remote and pressing play.
Ayanna sat without her pants on and stared at the cold man beside her. Her sympathy for him grew and she realized she wanted him more despite his demeanor. He was embarrassed, she decided and that was endearing to her.
He had food in his mouth and simply nodded in reply.
Neither Tristan nor Aven seemed interested in Ayanna's little announcement. They both continued to eat their meal in silence.
“What about Aergia?” Noah asked and when Ayanna gave him a questioning look, he replied. “She's a Greek goddess; the personification of laziness.”
She laughed. “That's so mean.”
“Keeping with the theme; Caligo was the mother of chaos. Horme is the personification of energetic activity. Epione is the goddess of soothing. Nyx is the daughter of chaos. Peone...”
“Nyx? I kind of like that. Unique but kind of hip.” Ayanna looked at her sister, “What do you think Aven?”
“Whatever.”
“Nyx it is then.” She returned to eating her meal. “You know a great deal about Greek gods, Noah.”
“I have always had a fascination with religions around the world. It's a bit of a hobby of mine.” He turned the conversation to Aven. “After breakfast, come up to my apartment. I have to discuss something with you.”
“Couldn't you have discussed it this morning?” Aven asked behind her wall of hair.
That question made Tristan's blood boil as he was reminded once more that his comfortable person was being touched by this giant tool of a man.
“Don't be difficult.” Noah responded and took notice of how Tristan had become tense when Aven had asked the question.
Ayanna giggled. “I don't think she knows any other way.”
“I've seen her less difficult in recent days.” Noah winked at her.
“I'm done.” Tristan stood up from the table with his meal half eaten and headed back down into the basement without another word.
Noah knew that he was upset, but the two girls looked confused over his sudden exit. “I guess Tristan is sensitive to innuendo.”
Ayanna laughed at the joke, but Aven continued to stare at the door. She was curious why it had bothered him so much. He seemed to hold emotion on his face that was normally a barren land.
“I have a question.” Ayanna began. “Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend or what?” She saw the horrified looks that were given between the two of them and decided to explain why she was asking. “I mean I introduced you to Jeremy as a tenant, that was the right thing to do, correct?”
“Yes, thank you for being considerate.” He smiled. “Aven and I... well, we are still figuring out...”
“We are just having sex.” Aven interrupted as she didn't want Noah to have to lie to her sister. “There is no relationship between us other than that.”
Ayanna was surprised to hear her sister would be in that sort of relationship, but she couldn't object to it's morality because of her own life. She also knew it wasn't her place, Aven was an adult and could make her own decisions. “Oh, well, alright. I am sorry if it seemed like I was butting in where I didn't belong. I just wanted to make sure you weren't offended that I didn't introduce you properly.”
“You did the right thing.” Noah smiled at her once more before he began to eat his meal again. The room fell into silence which was a strange environment for everyone but Aven.
---***
Aven looked at the clock on the wall above Noah's couch. “I have work in ten minutes.” She informed him as he changed in his bedroom.
He stepped out of the room with only a pair of slacks on and his black dress shirt in hand. At breakfast, he had simply worn his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He had become more relaxed in the house and was slowly allowing the people he lived with to see him when he wasn't completely dressed up. “I want us to start going on outings.”
“Outings?”
“Yes, you and me. I want us to head out and examine the world together.” He tossed his shirt onto the couch and returned to the bedroom. When he reappeared he was wearing a white under shirt.
“That sounds like too much of a date. I think it would be inappropriate for our relationship.” Aven already knew that she was beginning to feel some sparks and the last thing she wanted to do was add fuel to her soon to be blazing fire.
Putting on his shirt, he began to slowly button it up to ensure that he didn't miss any buttons. “I just want to see you in different social settings. Don't worry, I'll be completely professional. I know that these aren't part of the standard rules for fuck buddies, but let's call ourselves friends with benefits from now on. Shall we?”
“What's the difference?”
He finished dressing himself and grabbed a pair of black socks that he had apparently set out for himself earlier on the couch. “Fuck buddies see each other for sex only. Friends with benefits share information about themselves, they hang out, and are basically friends but have sex. Doesn't that seem more like us?”
“I guess.”
Noah took a couple long steps so that he would be standing in front of her. Taking her hands into his own, he kissed her forehead. “I think it would resolve whatever it is that has made you feel so distant the last couple of days.”
She looked up into his eyes. “What?”
“Every since that night that we didn't sleep together. I have felt that you are holding back on me. I made the mistake of making our relationship about more than sex and interviews. The fault is mine, but if we redefine what it is we have then it would settle many uncertainties, wouldn't it?”
Aven briefly grin as she nodded her head. “Yes, I think it might.”
He kissed her forehead again, “Alright, off to work.” He playfully smacked her hip.
When Aven was gone, Noah ran his hand through his hair. He had noticed a change in her the last two days and had even realized his mistake after he had made it. Aven seemed to shy away from his touch and had even slept in her own room after they had finished with each other. He couldn't afford to let her pull away from him at this stage.
He knew that it wasn't just about the story anymore. Anything about Aven that he didn't know he could fill in with his own imagination. No at this point she was a buffer for him and something easily attainable when he needed her. It wasn't that he didn't care about her feelings, but obviously when she thought he might feel something more for her she pulled away.
It had been a stupid move on his part, not to mention all the little kisses he gave from time to time. He didn't understand what the hell he was doing anymore. Ayanna had his heart and mind all jumbled because he couldn't stop comparing her to his wife. Aven would then come to him and he would take all his feelings out on her because she would allow it.
There was only so long he could allow this to continue. Eventually, he was going to have to run away from it all or he was going to have to severe ties with the two girls while remaining in the house. Camille was the one to blame for all this. He was just fine living in his motel room, but she nagged him about finding his own place. Now, he was forced to socialize and with that came relationships and emotions.
He had allowed himself to be empty these last few years and only Camille remained his friend. Everyone else had given up on him and he had been content to live that way. He had even hoped for Camille to fail him eventually, but instead she had gotten what she wanted. He was back in the land of the living and he wanted out immediately.
---***
The youngest sister looked a great deal like Ayanna, but with hair that more closely resembled Aven's. Noah had to remind himself that Ayanna's hair was actually dyed black and was not natural to her. She had arrived around lunch time so everyone was in the kitchen. Aven didn't have much time and had to get back to work, but that didn't seem to bother the woman who held her two year old daughter on her hip.
“What in the hell did you do to my childhood home?” Azelea snapped as she looked around the kitchen. “You two have completely destroyed it. Mom is rolling over in her grave. I can't believe you did this.” She began to walk toward the door that led upstairs.
“That's someone's apartment. Don't go in there, please.” Ayanna rushed to the door to get in her way.
Aven sat quietly and ignored her youngest sister as she finished off her cereal.
“You should have asked me first. How dare you two do this to this house! I can't believe this! I am so upset right now!” She shoved her daughter in Ayanna's arms and walked over to her eldest sister. “I can not believe you let her do this. The house means more to you than any of us, but you let her completely demolish it!”
Tristan and Noah felt uncomfortable with the situation, but neither could come up with a solution to leave. They both sat at the table and tried to eat their meal as quickly as possible. Azelea had entered into the house and started chewing her sisters out before her first foot was even in the door. There was no greetings between them what so ever.
“We had to do something, Azelea.” Ayanna explained. “With the money from the tenants, we can more easily pay the mortgage.”
“You could have gotten a job instead of whoring yourself around.” She turned to face the second eldest.
“That's so not cool to say.”
“It's true, isn't it?” She tossed her arms in the air in anger. “Don't you see how dangerous what you are doing is?”
“I'm not a whore.”
“Whether it's giving you money or paying a bill, you are rendering a sexual service for some sort of payment. That makes you a whore.” Azelea barked. “I can't believe...” She was silenced when Aven's hand hit the table causing everything on it to shake.
Aven stood up and looked at her sister. “You will shut up this instant.”
“No! You will....”
“Shut up!” Aven shouted which caught everyone by surprise. “When is the last time you made a mortgage payment on this house? Never, that's when. This is not your house. This is my house and I will burn it to the fucking ground if I damn well want to. As for Ayanna, you need to shut your goddamn mouth! She's allowed to have her own life and make her own decisions. Don't come into my home and think you can dictate what goes on here. Are we clear?”
Azelea opened her mouth to argue further but then closed it, before she finally responded. “Fine.” She took her daughter from her other sister.
“Are you staying the night?” Aven asked and watched her sister nod. “You can sleep in my room. I'm going back to work, so keep your voices down.”
Azelea left to get her bags as soon as Aven left the kitchen. Ayanna smirked and then looked over at the boys. “That was the real Aven for a moment. The big sister that bosses us around.” She clapped her hands excitedly before sitting back down at the table to eat.
---***
Azelea and Ayanna had disappeared into the back rooms and when Tristan was certain that he could catch Aven alone, he knocked gently on the door. He didn't hear her talking and assumed that she was no longer working. It had been four hours since lunch but her hours were often strange.
The door opened and Aven looked at the tall blonde before her. She stepped into the kitchen and shut the door behind her. “I can't watch a movie tonight.”
“Ah... I know.” He tried to gather his words. “You were angry earlier. I wanted to check and make sure... well, I guess to see if you are ok.”
A sad grin appeared on her lips briefly. “Yeah, Azelea gets me worked up sometimes. Don't worry, sisters are like that with each other. She just needs to be kicked in the ass from time to time.”
He gently nodded his head.
Aven moved into the kitchen when she noticed that Ayanna hadn't done the dishes yet. She sighed and decided to wash them since her sister was attending to the other one. Turning on the faucet, she held her fingers under the water until it ran lukewarm.
Tristan watched her for several seconds, before walking over to the sink. “I'll dry.” He said as he grabbed the towel from the counter.
“Thank you.”
He continued to watch her as she cleaned their lunch plates. Her eyes didn't look up at him not even when she passed him an item to dry. He could see her long eyelashes and she seemed thoughtful in those moments. All Tristan could think of was how beautiful she was despite her obvious flaws. The deep beating of his heart drowned out all the discomfort that came with feeling that way.
Whenever she passed him an item to dry, he would purposely touch her fingers. It gave him a jolt that went straight to his heart each time. He also stood a little closer than he needed to in hopes that their shoulders would accidentally bump into each other.
Later, he knew he would think back on this moment and realize how childish he was being, but for now he enjoyed the moment. He was lost when it came to the nuances of creating and maintaining even friendships let alone a romantic relationship. There had never been a real girlfriend in his life and all he ever had was the girls that were forced on him either by his band mates or to spark conversation in the general public for their band.
He was twenty seven years old and he had no idea how to do something that he had seen teenage boys accomplish. Worse yet, the girl that he wanted was already in the arms of another. It only complicated the matter, because he didn't know how to steal another man's woman.
Another man's woman? He had thought. Noah had no right to be with her. He wasn't comfortable like he was, so why would she chose him? He had been told in the past that he needed to be more aggressive with women and he wondered if that had been the case here. Did Noah just make the move first? She couldn't possibly have feelings for a man like that?
Noah was obnoxious and loud. He was Aven's complete opposite, so how could there be any common ground between them? Tristan knew that he was like Aven. They shared a common energy.
“All done.” Aven spoke and broke his thoughts.
Tristan realized that he had been staring at her the entire time, but Aven didn't seem bothered by it. He didn't even know if she had noticed.
“I have to take a shower before bed.” She told him and headed over to the door.
“A... Aven?”
She stopped and looked back at him.
“Can you... We can watch a movie tomorrow?”
She smiled gently. “I'll make time for you.”
As soon as Aven was out of the kitchen, Noah's door opened. He looked over at Tristan who was still standing by the sink. “Hey, buddy.”
Tristan didn't reply to him and began to make his way down to his apartment.
“Stealing my girl tomorrow?” Noah had been in the stairway toward the end of their time together and had chosen not to disturb them.
“She's not yours.” He had his back to the man that had made his way over to the refrigerator.
Pulling out the milk, Noah poured himself a glass before putting it away again. “You really like her, don't you?” He leaned his bottom against the counter top.
“Not any of your business.”
After taking a large gulp of his milk, he continued to speak. “We are just fuck buddies. There is no need for you to be jealous of me.”
Tristan didn't respond, but he didn't attempt to leave either. He feared whatever Noah had to say, but knew he should hear it.
“There is plenty of space for you to squeeze your way in. Think of me like layaway. No other guy can take her while I have her on hold for you.” He finished off his milk and set the glass in the sink.
Turning around, Tristan was enraged. “She's not some item you can put on layaway.”
“Did the phrase offend you?” He smirked. “It's rather accurate though, isn't it? With as slow as you move, you won't even steal your first kiss until she's an old maid.”
Clenching his teeth, Tristan tried to remain calm. He knew that punching someone was not acceptable and it would be even worse with a roommate. He had gone through all the programs including anger management.
“You look pretty upset right now.” Noah straightened himself out and looked the man in front of him over. “I don't want us to be enemies. We have to live together and tension between us would make things difficult.”
“I don't give a shit about you.”
“No, but you do about Aven. She is a clever girl, Tristan. I mean she figures people out fairly quickly. I try to play a game and she calls me out on it. If she doesn't know how you feel about her, I would be shocked.” He folded his arms. “If she doesn't, and you hit me or cause a disturbance, don't you think she'll figure it out? At the very least, they will probably kick you out.”
Tristan didn't even realize that he had clenched his fists until Noah mentioned being hit.
“Then how will you find an excuse to see her?” Noah walked over to the man in front of him and placed his hand on his shoulder. “I'm not your enemy nor you competition. When you are ready to make your move and Aven accepts, there will be no drama on my end. The moment she says that our relationship stops then it stops. Simple as that.”
Tristan curled his lip in disgust and quickly shook the man's hand off of him. “You have no right to touch her.”
“Aven gives me the right. Now, let's be friends, what do you say? I only have one friend and she's a woman. It would be nice if us guys could get along, don't you think?” When Tristan didn't answer, he continued. “I get along with Aven just fine and she's a lot like you. Don't you think that you and I could find some common ground?”
Without replying, Tristan flipped around and headed for the basement door. He slammed it shut behind him.
Noah shook his head and exhaled. For a moment there, he thought he was going to be treated to Tristan Patel's infamous temper. He knew that he was no fighter and all of his battles had to be done with words. Luckily, the other man had a very obvious weak spot that was easy to manipulate.
---***
Ayanna smiled as she watched her younger sister play with her daughter, Deana. The two year old smiled as Azelea blew on her belly and made her break into a giggle fit. Whenever she saw her sister around her child, it always made Ayanna think about having a husband and children of her own. Normally, that idea disappeared as soon as her sister was gone, but lately she had been thinking about it without her sister's presence.
She knew there was a void in her life and that she would have to fill it herself in order to complete herself. She could see that void in Tristan as well and wondered if she could try to be more than just the land lady with him. Scott's words about her feelings only being there because she was used to Aven would haunt her mind. She questioned herself constantly about her own emotions. What she felt wasn't love, at least not yet, and she knew it well enough. She just wanted her life to change now and she knew that she would have to be the one to take that first step.
“Ayanna?”
“What?” She looked at her sister and smiled.
“You looked a little lost in thought.” Azelea allowed her daughter to play with some toys as she sat on the bed.
Ayanna's smile widened. “I was just thinking that I'd like a child of my own someday. You look happy when you are with her.”
“I never thought I'd hear you say that.” She chuckled as she stroked her daughter's hair. “Mom always thought that Aven and I would have kids, and you'd be the free spirit.” Her smile withered as she thought on her words. “I guess I am responsible for killing some of that spirit, aren't I?”
“Why would you think that?”
“I refused to move in here with Aven and made you carry the burden alone. I was really selfish for choosing a man over my sisters. I'm sorry.”
Ayanna placed her hand over her sister's that was laying on the bed. “We don't blame you for picking your own life. Besides, I think it's worked out well for us. I've grown as a person so I am happy that I had this opportunity.”
Azelea looked saddened by her sister's words. “I'm glad that you aren't angry with me.”
“What's wrong?”
“I found out that I have breast cancer.”
Ayanna was taken aback by her sister's words. “You're only twenty three!”
“I know how old I am. Cancer apparently doesn't care how old you are though.” She exhaled. “I have to have surgery, but I still haven't decided what I want them to do. If I have them just removed then I won't have to go through too much chemo, but it will take longer for me to recuperate. The doctor said just having the lumps removed with chemo is now just as affective, but I have a higher risk of getting it again afterwards. There is a bunch of other concerns as well that I won't bore you with.”
She swallowed as she listened to her sister's words, and then concern for her other sister rose in her chest. “You can't tell Aven. She wouldn't be able to handle this.”
“I thought long and hard about telling her, and I have decided that she has to know, Ayanna. I mean what would be worse? Her knowing and she is prepared for my death, or her not knowing and then one day I am just dead. I think not telling her would be just as shocking for her as when mom and Curtis died.”
“Yeah, you are probably right.” She closed her eyes as she released a deep sigh. “She has been doing so well lately. Going outside and having conversations that I just don't want her to go back into her shell.”
“How about I wait until I decide on what option I am going to take? That way she has more time.”
“I feel like we would be hiding it from her then.”
Azelea picked up a small plastic toy that had fallen off the bed and handed it back to her daughter. “Aven seems weak now, but she was always our rock when we were growing up. I think you may have forgotten how strong she really is because all you see is her weakness all day long.”
“Let's just wait. Give me time to figure out the best way to tell her.” Ayanna watched her sister nod and then turned her attention to her niece. “I'm gonna getcha!”
---***
“Washing dishes again?” Noah had come down from his apartment to find Aven shortly after dinner had been concluded.
“I am letting her get away with this because Azelea is here. She better not make it into a habit.” She mumbled as she stood in front of the sink.
“I say you snap at her like you did to your other sister today.” He teased. “I would pay to see that again. I'm shocked that you have the ability to raise your voice, let alone chew someone out with such ferocity.”
“Azelea can be a bit overwhelming at times. She usually only responds when you can up the level even too high for her to go.” She set a dish in the second sink to be rinsed later with the others. “She's really not that bad. Normally, she doesn't visit without reason, so she is probably fighting with her husband and came here to hide for a day or two.”
“Then my first meeting with her was an emotional one for her?”
Aven looked over her shoulder at Noah who was was leaning against the kitchen table. “Try not to judge her. She is actually a lot like Ayanna and myself, but the spoiled baby of the family.”
“I'll erase my first judgments from my mind and give her a reprieve.” He watched her partially grin at his response.
Coming up behind her, he tossed his arms around her shoulders and hugged her tightly. Laying his chin on her shoulder, he watched as she attempted to do the dishes while being restrained.
“You are making this more difficult.”
Noah smirked. “So I see.”
She turned her head slightly to see him which forced Noah to pick up his head. He kissed her forehead and lowered his arms to hug her around her chest. “You're acting too cozy with me.”
“No such thing when it comes to our relationship.”
Aven rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the dishes though now it was impossible to wash anything under Noah's hold.
Lowering his head, he kissed her exposed neck several times.
“Stop.” Aven chuckled. “I'm trying to do a chore here.”
“Fine. I'll be upstairs.” He kissed her neck once more, before turning around to head for his own door. When he did so, he watched the basement door close quite quickly and realized that they had just been spied on.
Heading up the stairs to his apartment, he sat down on the couch and exhaled. He didn't know what the hell he was doing anymore. Now he was flirting with her in the kitchen where someone else could witness it.
There was no emotion behind what he was doing and he knew it, but he found himself doing these things without thinking them over. Being around Aven had become a moment to forget all on it's own. It was like reality ceased to exist for him when she was near. Perhaps it was because he knew it was no use to put the facade up so he had simply stopped trying. She had become a comfortable and emotionless place for him to hide himself.
There was no drama and there was no explaining himself. Of course, why would anyone explain themselves to a wall? It was there to protect you and hide you away from what really tormented you. There was no need to fear it unless you were the one that would have to climb it.
His smirked to himself before his thoughts turned to Ayanna. He hadn't really talked to her that day due to Azelea's appearance. He somewhat missed their meal conversations, but Azelea had taken over dinner completely. He barely got a word in. She had kept him from Ayanna and he was both annoyed and grateful for her presence.
---***
Ayanna laid down on her bed with the phone in her hand as Scott told her about his day, but she couldn't concentrate on his words. All she could think of was the baby sleeping in Aven's room. Azelea and Deana were using the spare room since Aven seemed to sleep upstairs most of the time. Her younger sister didn't bother to ask why the room was empty and Ayanna thought it was probably because of the late hours that Aven kept.
She hadn't even told Scott about her sister's cancer and odds were because she didn't want to say the words out loud yet. In truth, she refused to even think about it at this point and decided to act like she was never told. Instead, she allowed her mind to wander with the idea of having a baby and a family.
Azelea looked so happy despite her hardship and Ayanna wondered if she could find happiness in that world as well. It had been the first time since Carlin had harmed her that she honestly thought seriously about it. All the men she was sleeping with for money didn't care about her and she had forgotten what it felt like to be loved.
“And then...” Scott laughed hard. “he said... oh this is so funny, he said...”
“I think I'm done.”
His laughter subsided. “What? I haven't even gotten to the punch line.”
“Oh, no, I'm sorry, Scott. My mind has been wandering. I have been thinking about my life and what I have been doing with it.” She told him as the thought that we don't know how much time we have left crossed her mind. She almost spoke it but knew that he would become suspicious and start asking questions. “It's time.”
“Time for what?”
“I want a real relationship with someone I can marry and have kids with. I'm done doing whatever it is I've been doing.”
Those words lightened his heart and Scott nearly fell off his own bed. “Yes! I mean, yes, that's great, of course, you should do that. That's healthy for you.”
“How much longer can I mess around like this until something really bad happens to me? I haven't had any problems with wives or disease yet, but it's only a matter of time, right? Eventually, some crazed woman will be wielding a bat or a knife at me.” She looked down at the little black dog that was cuddled up next to her thigh.
“What brought all this on?”
“Nyx has whet my appetite and then some other things have been going on that are starting to open my eyes.” She slowly stroked her hand over the folded dog and continued to watch the small puppy sleep.
He had no idea who Nyx was, but decided that was unimportant to the greater scheme of things. “Actually, I've been wanting to tell...”
“No more rich guys even if that hurts our finances. I'm done. I'll get a real job if I have to.” She inhaled deeply. “I'm going to act on my feelings for Tristan.” She stood up from the bed and walked over to her closet in order to locate some thing to wear.
“Whoa, wait. You barely know the guy.”
“I never will if I don't start putting my feelings into motion.” Her hands waved over the clothes that hung from their hangers as she tried to decide.
Scott swallowed down his heart. “Ayanna, you can't really think that a guy like that could be a serious boyfriend for you. Besides, how deep can your feelings really run for a stranger?”
“I've lived with him for a couple months now, so he isn't a stranger. Besides, aren't you the person who believes in love at first sight? What I have may only be a small spark, but it can be stoked into becoming a flame.”
For a moment, Scott thought that he should just shout his feelings out and get everything into the open. She might surprise him and make a decision that favored him in the days to come. He quickly shook the thought away as he reminded himself that he could lose his friend. He knew something between them couldn't work out, so he would just wait like he always did and encourage her.
“If your mind is set on doing this, then I will support you. What do you plan on doing?”
“Asking him to watch a movie with me.” She giggled as she pulled out the silk pink pajamas.
---***
“Have you decided where you want our first outing to be?” Noah asked as he sat in front of his laptop and typed up some of his notes.
Aven was laying on the bed and reading Tristan's book. “I always liked the zoo. I haven't been in a long time.”
“Really? The zoo?” He chuckled as the sounds of his fingers hitting the keys filled the room. “If that's what the princess desires.”
“Don't call me princess.”
“Ah, no nicknames.” He looked down at the notebook that laid on the desk next to his laptop and then back at the computer screen. “If you gave me a nickname, what would it be?”
There was a moment of silence as Aven tried to think of a name. “I've got nothing.”
“All that build up for ntohing.” He snorted. “Good thing you aren't a writer.” He finished up what he was doing and turned in his seat to face her. “What are you reading?”
“That book about Tristan and his boy band.” She held it up so he could see the cover.
“Ah, read his but not mine.”
Aven rolled her eyes. “Jealous?”
Noah smirked and then began to crawl onto the bed. He snatched the book away from her and tossed it to the ground. Their faces were inches apart. “And what if I am?”
She tried to keep her composure even though her heart beat wildly in her chest and her body desperately wanted to swallow. Looking into his eyes, she tried to figure out if he was being serious and then she decided that it didn't even matter. “Asshole.” She shoved her hand playfully in his face and then went to fetch the book.
Noah grabbed her waist and tossed her onto the bed on her back. “Not a very original nickname. Try again.” His body was over hers and he stared down at her with a grin.
Aven tried to get up and push him away, so he snatched her wrists and held them above her head with one hand. “Are you being serious?”
“Nickname.”
“Why do you want a nickname?”
He shrugged his shoulders.
Aven giggled lightly. “What will you give me?”
“Employing the barter system, are we?” He was quiet and seemed to think for a moment. “You know I don't know what you really want, so you tell me.”
She wanted him to kiss her to see how it felt, but she knew that request would cause awkwardness between them. It was a thought that made her excited heart slow and she remembered that this was all a lie. There were no feelings from his end and she was merely a person who he could gain another moment of fame from.
“Got nothing?” Noah sat up and allowed her sit up as well.
Sitting in front of him, she wanted to lift up her hand and touch his face. She wanted to do things that were between loving partners and not friends. The more she saw him each day, the more painful it became. She should have known better than to think she could just sleep with someone and not gain any feelings for him. It was worse because Noah had to get to know her and had even started flirting with her.
Some stray hair from her ponytail was brushed behind her ear by a man's hand. “Suddenly got lost in thought, did you?” He leaned over and grabbed her book from the ground then tossed it onto the bed beside her.
Aven grinned. “I guess so. I can't think of any nickname for you, sorry.”
“Asshole will have to do then.” He teased before leaning forward and placing a kiss on her cheek. He didn't mean to do it, but his bottom lip caught the corner of her mouth which caused them both to pull back. “I apologize for that.”
She shook her head and then smiled. “How are your notes coming along?”
---***
Tristan knew he shouldn't have agreed to watch a movie with the annoying woman, but his heart felt like it was shattered. Noah had said there was no real relationship between him and Aven, yet that was not what he saw in the kitchen earlier. She had looked content and perhaps even happy in another man's arms. He had allowed himself to believe that she was suffering through whatever torment that Noah put her in, but he knew now that he had been delusional.
His comfortable person was comfortable with someone else. He wanted to roll up in a corner and die. Had Noah been lying to him? Do people who only use each other for sex really cuddle and flirt in that manner? He knew he was no expert in relationships, but to him that looked a lot deeper than his male roommate had led on. Even Noah seemed different when he thought that there was no witnesses to his little flirt fest.
Tristan was devastated. He thought for certain that he could sway her heart with his equality to her, but instead she was moved by that thing. Noah was as much as a washed up nobody as he was, so why was it that Aven would look to him?
He wasn't really certain why he had agreed to watch a movie with Ayanna, but part of him didn't want to be alone with his heartbreak. Even if the annoying woman was going to ask him a hundred different questions that were already answered in the movie, he would rather suffer through it than live with his unfamiliar emotions.
He hadn't been paying attention to the movie or the girl sitting beside him as he thought over his feelings. It wasn't until she was leaning her arm against his own that he broke through his own mind and looked to her.
“What are you doing?” He asked as he looked down at the dark haired woman beside him.
Ayanna grabbed the remote and paused the movie before spinning around on the couch so she could face him. “Don't you feel it?”
He looked confused.
“Isn't there an attraction between us?”
Tristan's heart sank deeper if that was at all possible. He had heard this speech before but this time it was with a woman that he paid rent to. Of course, he should have seen it coming since she was wearing those strange pajamas.
“No.” He replied.
Ayanna giggled. “You're being shy, aren't you?” Leaning in, she gently kissed his lips and then looked up at him.
Tristan knew it was wrong, but in this light she vaguely resembled her sister. His heart had no fight left in it and he decided to do what he had always done, let them have their way. If she was going to do this to him then so be it, what was the point of waiting for the other woman that was simply toying with him whether she knew it or not?
She began to kiss him and this time it was deeper. Tristan didn't really respond much, but what little he did seemed to be enough for her. Before he knew it, his pants had been pulled down to his knees and Ayanna's were completely gone. She straddled him and continued to kiss him. He didn't raise his hands up to touch her or really encourage her actions in anyway.
When she reached her peak, she breathed heavily into his ear as her forehead rested on his temple. “Did you cum? Do you need me to keep going?”
He had to find a better way than he usually did since this woman was his land lady. Normally, he would accuse the girl of forcing herself on him so he wouldn't have to face what was apparently shame in the male world. This time, he needed tact.
“It's nothing against you, but I just don't do that.”
Ayanna looked surprised for a moment. “Should I go down...”
“No, it just doesn't happen for me.” He gently pushed her off him and pulled up his pants, before grabbing the remote and pressing play.
Ayanna sat without her pants on and stared at the cold man beside her. Her sympathy for him grew and she realized she wanted him more despite his demeanor. He was embarrassed, she decided and that was endearing to her.