07-18-2015, 04:52 PM
In the weeks that followed at the Victorian home, Noah found himself drinking wine every night with Ayanna. The time spent together was mostly in silence as she kept saying how bored and lonely she was, and in truth he felt much the same. It was strange spending so much time with her and he had come to understand how much she relied on having other people around her. He truly wondered whether she ever had wanted her sister to get better and now that Tristan was doing so as well, it was Ayanna who was stuck with herself.
Sitting in the lavish living room, Camille sat down on the couch beside him after she offered him a glass of wine. He had visited her home on several occasions while Aven and Tristan were away. “I am not used to you visiting for personal reasons and multiple times too, Noah. Well, not since Autumn could no longer drag you over here.”
He looked at the wine glass in his hand and recalled that it was only eleven in the morning, but that didn't seem to stop Camille. Having one glass this early wouldn't hurt, he decided. “The house is a bit quiet, especially when Ayanna goes out.”
“So, you are lonely?” She chuckled. “How out of character for you. Normally, you leap at the chance to spend as much time alone as possible.”
Turning his head to make eye contact, Noah gave a glare that told her he wasn't amused. “Are you going to poke at me or be my friend?”
Taking a large swig of her wine, she set the glass down on the coffee table and got comfortable on the couch. She twisted herself so that one leg was completely on the couch minus the foot, and the other leg hung off. Both of her hands were tossed of the back of the couch and she laid her head down on her arms. “May I suggest that you might have feelings for this Aven?”
“No, you may not.” He took a sip of his wine.
“I may not because it's not true or because you don't want to hear it?” She smirked but there was a look of pity that went along with it.
“It's not true.”
Camille chuckled which quickly turned to sarcasm. “Right, because if you don't want to admit it, then why you would tell me so?” She exhaled and continued to watch him. “Darling, you look like a little lost puppy. I just want to bundle you up and make everything better for you.”
“You wouldn't rescue a dog no matter how pitiful it looked.” He snapped back playfully.
“Well, they are dirty little creatures and far too much work, but I can still find the small babies cute.” She reached out her hand and brushed something off his shoulder before resting her hand on him. “Do you want me to sleep with you? Will that make it better?”
Noah pressed his lips together and once again glared at her. “Don't be such a bitch.”
“Fine, fine.” She smiled before reaching for her wine glass to take another swig. “If you don't tell me what is bothering you, I can't help you.”
“I don't need you to help me. I just want you to keep me company.” Noah put the glass on the table and stood up. He walked over to the windows and put his hands in his slacks' pockets.
Watching him, Camille frowned before she made her way to stand beside him. “It's difficult, isn't it?”
He turned his attention away from the skyline and looked into her eyes. “What?”
“Moving on. You just want to hold onto the past and all your feelings, because if you let go then you don't have any more excuses to keep yourself prisoner. It also feels like you might be betraying the woman of the past, doesn't it?” She put her hand on his shoulder once more.
“If you keep insisting on accusing me of having feelings for that lunatic, then I'll leave.”
Camille shrugged her shoulders. “That's not much of a threat for me, Noah.”
Aven had found relief whenever Tristan left her presence. The two had found an uncomfortable awkwardness between them since the night they had kissed, but neither wanted to discuss it. Aven was angry with herself that she had allowed her vulnerability to make her so weak that she would betray her sister. She knew how much Ayanna cared for Tristan even if it was obvious he didn't feel the same way.
She kept telling herself that Tristan had only gotten caught up in the moment and that she had gone along because her feelings for Noah had made her want to be wanted by someone. Part of her had always known that Tristan may have cared for her as more than friends, but she knew if she kept denying it that nothing would ever happen. Instead, she got too careless. She put herself in a position where Tristan easily could take advantage of her and in some ways she had wanted it to happen. After all, Noah had taught her the simplest way to forget her problems.
“Knock, knock.” Cathleen tossed aside the tent flap and step inside. She had been coming over while Tristan was shooting his scenes to talk with Aven. “How are you doing?”
“I'm good.” Aven stood up and cleared off the chair for her to sit down. Tristan had tossed his clothes onto it. “Have a seat.”
“I brought you an ice coffee. I know you like mocha.” She offered the plastic cup to her. “I drank mine on the way here. I haven't eaten sugar since I found out I would get this part and how much nudity it had. Have to look my best.” She giggled. “So, now that it's winding down and I get something sweet, I just inhale it.”
Aven smiled gently at her as she took the beverage from her. “Thank you very much. I heard that you are leaving early.”
Cathleen nodded as she sat down in the white plastic chair. “Yes, all my scenes are finished up. Tristan just has to redo some of his scenes, but Mike says he can use everything I shot.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Tonight. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I just can't wait another second. I know this is Florida and we've been on the beach this entire time, but I just want to go home.” She crossed her legs. “I wanted to come and hang out with you one last time, before I head to the airport.” Cathleen offered a large smile. “You have been a good friend this entire time and I am going to miss you. I was wondering if I could get your home number so we could keep in contact.”
Aven wondered if she really just wanted to be able to contact Tristan, since she often asked questions about him. After a moment, she decided it didn't really matter. She had said before that Tristan would cheat if he really wanted to, so she wrote the number down on a post-it and handed it to the actress.
Cathleen pulled out her cell phone and entered the number into memory, which made Aven realize she should have just offered to enter it in instead of wasting paper. “Thanks.” Cathleen smiled again. Standing up, she opened her arms to get a hug from the woman who was sitting on the cot. Aven stood up and gave her a hug. “I wish I could stay and talk more, but my flight leaves in like four hours and it takes forever to get through security now.” She stepped back away from the hug. “Oh, let me give you my number.”
Taking the pen from the make-up desk, she used the back of the post-it that Aven had offered her. “Thanks.” Aven smiled at her when she handed it to her.
“I really had a great time. Hopefully, this movie will do really well and we will see each other at award ceremonies. Of course, I will see you for opening night, right?”
“If Tristan wants me to come.”
She giggled. “I think Tristan would take you anywhere you wanted to go.” She winked before giving one of her beautiful smiles. “I'll see you soon.”
Aven watched her walk out of the tent and then sat back down on the cot. She wondered what Cathleen had meant by her last comment, but the thought was too uncomfortable to think over. Laying back down on the cot, she looked up at the tent's ceiling and sighed to herself. It was just a kiss but she felt so guilty for reciprocating.
It was the first time that Scott would be able to see her since he admitted his feelings to her. He had called the weeks before begging her to talk to him, but she never answered the phone and his messages went unanswered. The only reason she was coming in this time was to help him with a work related matter since she had promised her sister that she would make a few more bucks for them.
Sitting down in his office in the chair in front of his desk, Ayanna crossed her legs and looked over the large hunk of wood that separated them. There was no look on her face that told him that she was happy to see him.
“How have you been?” Scott folded his hand on the desk and tried to offer her a smile.
“I'm fine. What did you need me for today?” Her voice was cold and she seemed like she wanted to escape though still look prideful.
He fumbled with some papers on his desk before putting them into a folder and holding them out to her. “I have to do a few interviews and I would like you to assist me.”
Taking the folder from him, she looked over some of the applications. “Not all of these are for models. You want me to help interview accountants?”
Watching her flip through the paperwork, Scott couldn't help but feel bittersweet. He was excited that she was finally willing to see him again, but he couldn't help but replay her words in his mind. Did she really see him as some nerd in a dumpster?
“Did you mean what you said about me?” He asked before he thought through the consequences.
Ayanna looked up from the folder and seemed unsure of what he was talking about.
“You said I would always be the nerd in the trashcan and that I would basically always be beneath you.” He played with a pen in order to ward off any uncomfortable feelings though it hardly worked.
Closing the folder, she glared at him for several seconds before answering. “Now is not the time, Scott. That's a private matter and I didn't come here to deal with that. I am here for professional reasons only. Got it?”
“You can't take two seconds to say yes or no to my question?” He dropped the pen on the desk and stood up, before walking around the side of the desk and sitting down on it in front of her. “Don't you think you at least owe me that after saying something like that to me?”
Standing up, Ayanna frowned. “Let's get these interviews over.” She turned to leave but her arm was quickly caught by his hand.
“Ayanna, did you mean what you said?”
She exhaled audibly and then turned to face him. “No, alright? I said those things to hurt you. I have always thought of you as my friend and even a brother. I don't think of you as some good for nothing nerd.”
Arms wrapped around her shoulders and she was pulled into his chest before she could react. Scott kissed the side of her cheek while her hands that held the folder to her chest were locked in between their bodies. “I really missed you. I'm sorry about what I said.”
Ayanna tried to hold back tears. “I'm sorry too.” She whispered the apology.
“Let's forget that I ever said anything and go back to being the way we were.” He stepped back and placed his hands on her shoulders.
“That's not possible.” She could tell her response had startled him. “Our friendship is forever changed, Scott. You told me that you've been in love with me for a long time. How can I just ignore that?”
“Then what do you plan to do?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Keep distance from you. Maybe that will help you to get over me. From now on we are just professionals. I'm sorry.”
Tristan pretended to read his script as he sat in the chair in his tent during a break, while Aven pretended to read her book that she had already finished. Both would occasionally look up from their item to briefly look at the other person. They had tried to act as if everything was normal between them, but both were stuck on what had occurred.
He knew that this was a huge screw up and couldn't believe he had gotten the nerve up to do such a thing. Never in his life had he made a move on someone before and of course it had to be at a time when it was the absolute wrong thing to do. All he could think of was how stupid he was, even though it had been helpful. Whenever he filmed an intimate scene, he would just pretend that it was Aven that it was happening with. The director had told him several times how much better he had gotten overnight.
Aven laying on the cot across the tent couldn't help but wonder what the hell she had done. She was certain there was no physical attraction to Tristan, but when he had kissed her she had responded. Was it because she was so lonely and didn't realize it? The kiss had happened weeks ago and she still felt awkward around Tristan. He hadn't tried to do anything to her since but they hadn't talked about it either, which seemed to make things only worse.
“Cathleen came by. She is leaving tonight.” Aven tried the same method of discussing something insignificant with him in order to destroy the tension.
“Yeah. She came to say goodbye to every one.” He cleared his throat. “My character loses hers in the end.” He smirked. “Weird how movies are, right?”
“What do you mean?”
Tristan looked up from his script. “I mean that she and I filmed the last scene weeks ago, but then we filmed scenes where we were together last. All the scenes are messed up so as the actor you have a tough time putting them together in your head. That is until you finally see the movie for yourself.”
She nodded. “Because of locations, right?”
“Right.”
Aven pressed her lips together. “We haven't really moved much from this area though. So, it's weird that they were so out of sequence.” When Tristan merely shrugged and continued to pretend to read his script, she spoke once more. “Are you excited about getting home soon? I feel exhausted.”
“It'll be nice to sleep in my own bed.” He tossed the script onto the make-up stand when he decided she wasn't going to let them live in their tense reality. The conversation felt so forced that it was nearly driving him crazy considering this woman was his comfortable person.
“Ayanna will be happy to have you back. She calls me every night with about two hundred questions. She says you don't talk to her enough to tell her what's going on, but I just tell her its because you are tired from filming.” She stretched out her arms and yawned. “Speaking of tired, we have all these beautiful surroundings around us, but it feels like they just drain me. I can't wait to get back to our dank little house.”
She had spoken quite quickly and Tristan understood how nervous she was. “I'm sorry.”
“Huh?” Aven looked confused though internally she thought she knew what he was apologizing for.
“I got carried away with the moment and acted on impulse. You don't have to be so intimidated by me. I won't let it happen again.” He lowered his head when he spoke and some of his words were mumbled.
She sighed heavily. “Was it that noticeable? I usually hide my feelings rather well.” She paused. “Who am I kidding? I'm sorry that I put you in that position. I was trying to help and I didn't realize that I might have been sending the wrong message.”
“You never sent a wrong message. I just got caught up in the moment. It's my fault.” Tristan stood up from his chair. “I am going to go for a walk. I'll be back in a couple minutes.”
Scott sat quietly at his dining room table as he slowly ate his meal. His close friend, Joseph, could see that something was wrong but wasn't certain if he should ask. It seemed that Scott only ever called him over for a meal when he was upset or lonely, and it was usual for Joseph to just listening to him. It was almost always about Ayanna.
His rich friend had prepared them both a meal of salmon and asparagus. Joseph never ate like this at home and sometimes wondered if he took advantage of his friend, but whenever he brought it up Scott didn't seem bothered by it. Of course, he had always seemed willing to share his wealth as he claimed there was enough to go around.
“She says she doesn't want anything to do with me, but to be work acquaintances.” Scott finally spoke when he realized that his friend was simply watching him and not eating.
Joseph nodded his head and continued eating as his curiosity was now satiated. “I am telling you, man, you have got to get over this bitch.”
“Don't call her a bitch.”
“I didn't mean bitch like bitch, I meant it bitch like bi-atch, you know like woman.” He took a swig from his beer bottle. “You've been sweating this girl for years and never got anywhere. Now that she knows how you feel you got kicked to the curb. It's over, find someone else.”
“That's easier said than done.” He sighed.
Joseph shook his head as he watched his slender friend hunch over in his chair while he slowly shoveled food into his mouth. “Do you know how many bitches out there would love to be pampered this way by you? Hell, I'd go gay for this shit.”
Scott chuckled and glared up at his friend. “Problem is those women would want me for the money, not for me. Ayanna cared about me before she knew I could buy her anything. I just don't feel I could trust any woman to not judge me based on my financial situation.”
“What about someone who has money of her own?”
“Most of the time they are professionals and which one of them wants to admit their boyfriend is in the porn industry?” Scott tapped his fork against his plate as he spoke. “Only girls who would be alright with that aren't the type of girls you take home to mother. Ayanna is one of a kind.”
“There are women who work in your field that aren't on camera, you know? They can have money of their own too. I think you are just making excuses up to prevent yourself from liking anyone else.” Joseph always found that their conversations were about Scott and his life. He often wondered how much of his life that Scott knew about, but he decided long ago that this was the way their friendship worked. “I got a cousin who is super fine. She's smart has a BA in something or other, and she is kind... does charity bullshit. I think you might hit it off with her.”
“I don't know, Joseph, I mean...”
“She's jumped between douches her whole life, some rich and others not. All she wants is a nice guy who wants to build something with her.” He took a bite of his salmon. “It won't hurt to just meet her. You might find that she's a pretty awesome chick.”
Scott stared at his friend for a while. “And what if she and I don't work out? There could be problems between us.”
“Won't be any problems unless you treat her like shit.” He had been speaking with a mouth full of food and promptly swallowed it down. “It won't kill you to meet her. I've told her about you and Ayanna in the past, and she seems to have at least a passing interest in you. So, you won't be going into a situation where she doesn't know where your stupid ass obsessions lie.”
“You talk about my problems to other people?”
“Just her. She's real insightful. Hell, half the shit I say to you comes from her.” Joseph quickly finished his beer for fear that he might be kicked out of the apartment any moment now.
Scott seemed to stop and think as he took a deep breath. “Alright, I'll meet your cousin, but she better be hot.”
“She is, dude, don't worry. I won't steer you wrong.”
The dog at his feet would briefly lick at his toes from time to time before it would fall back asleep. Noah sat at the table with Ayanna at his side. It felt like the two had talked about everything they could so they would sit in silence as they drank their wine. This had become an every night occurrence for them. They never discussed it but over time it just seemed to be the way the habit had formed.
Noah would talk to himself and make his way downstairs, and Ayanna would hate being alone in her portion of the house so the kitchen was the only safe room to be. It seemed comfortable enough for both of them to share the kitchen as they had for many meals before. Though it was strange that the other two members of the house weren't there.
“Only a few more days now and the household will be complete again.” Ayanna mumbled her words as she stared at Tristan's chair. “Do you think they missed being here?”
“The two homebodies? Of course. They are probably dying to get back and ensure that their ass prints on the couch haven't been damaged.” Noah teased trying to lighten her mood.
She smirked. “Yeah, I guessed that part. I just hoped they missed us too. Like maybe his time away from me has made Tristan appreciate me more.”
“One can only hope.” He really didn't know what else to say to that.
Noah had found himself watching Ayanna less and worrying more about what would happen when Aven arrived home. It felt like years had passed since he last spoke to her, but the pillows on his bed still carried her scent to some degree. Of course, it wasn't that he was sniffing the pillows or anything, he just happened to roll over and notice it.
Without Aven around, he had lost his muse to write for his new novel. It was just sitting on his computer waiting to be written, but he had no interest in writing it. Every time he opened the file up, he would find himself staring blankly at the notes and attempting to figure out the best way to begin. After about fifteen minutes, he would decide that today was not the day and close the file.
“I bought some Brie and those bread bowls. I was going to make some for us tonight. I think I'll get them started now so I won't be too drunk later.” Ayanna stood up from the table and began to gather together her ingredients.
“Don't think I have ever eaten Brie.” Noah sat quietly as he thought over the cheeses he had eaten over the years and the parties that had offered them. “Nope, not that I recall.”
Ayanna smiled. “Well, you are in for a treat.”
These conversations were dull and they both knew it. Noah remembered how interesting it had been to discuss things with Aven, while Ayanna thought of how much of a challenge Tristan was. Noah and Ayanna really never had anything to talk about that wasn't more than something an old couple would. They chatted about the weather constantly and the only other topic that ever came up was Tristan and Aven, but mostly Tristan. Noah didn't like to talk about Aven unless it was her sister telling him stories that he could use for his book.
“Do you think that Aven will be alright with what happened with you when she gets back? I mean that's partially the reason why she left.” Ayanna cut the top off the bread bowl.
“It would be nice if that were so, but she'll probably hold a grudge for some time.” Noah chuckled to himself. “Mind if I tell you something, just between us?”
“Sure.”
“Sometimes I talk to her thinking she's in my room with me.” He glared into the golden liquid in his glass. “I miss her company, I guess.”
Ayanna smiled gently though his back was turned and he couldn't see it. “I wish I could hear Tristan say something like that about me.” She cleared her throat. “Sorry, I made it about myself again. I should have said that's really sweet actually.”
“It doesn't mean anything, I just miss her company that's all.”
Sitting on the edge of her hotel bed, Aven held her phone to her ear and smiled as Jeremy told a little joke. She had been told by her sister that he wanted her to call him, but she kept putting it off since she had been so tired.
“You are really back now?” Aven asked and shuffled her feet in excitement.
There was a smile in his voice as he spoke. “Yes. I moved into my house and am now waiting for your return. Fitting, isn't it?”
She giggled. “I can't believe that you moved back while I was gone. I mean I knew you were moving back in that time frame, but it's just ironic I guess.”
“How is everything going out there? Ayanna seemed to be nervous about Tristan being alone with you.” He cleared his throat after speaking and then seemed to take a drink of something.
Releasing a sigh, Aven tried to figure out a way to best explain everything to him. “Tristan isn't really into my sister. Ayanna is the one that keeps pushing herself onto him and I think he is worried about turning her down since she is his landlady.”
“Really?” He sounded surprise. “Ayanna has always been so confident. I couldn't imagine her forcing her way through a relationship.”
“She's a great deal more fragile than she lets on. I think something happened with her while she was with Carlin, but whenever I have brought the subject up I have been stonewalled.” Aven laid back on her bed and stretched out her legs. “I guess she'll tell me when she wants me to know.” She began to chew on her bottom lip.
“You never answered my question. How are things going out there?” Jeremy's voice continued to hold a smile.
“I feel like a kenneled dog. They kept saying I was in the way so they sent me to the tent. I wanted to see the filming process even if it was this low budget shit that will never make it into the mainstream.” She sighed. “Oh well, I got to see Florida. Tristan and I went swimming during a day off and I have eaten in some good restaurants, even tried Cuban food.”
“Wow, Aven being adventurous. Color me shocked.” He teased. “When you get back let me take you out. It's amazing how much things have changed. Most of my friends have moved away and now I really only have you, your sister, and Scott.”
“I forgot that you and Scott had something going.”
Jeremy snorted. “Don't say it like that. Makes it sound like we were lovers. Yeah, I didn't keep in contact with him much either. It feels weird to come back here. I mean you all have changed in your relationships and the way you live your lives, and I feel like I am disrupting the new, I guess, groove you guys got going on.”
“Please, we could all use some shaking up. Man, I forgot that Scott and I used to hang out together with you guys.” She chuckled. “Man that reminds me of this one time that we got drunk and he thought I was Ayanna and confessed to me. He didn't remember anything the next day.”
“You are kidding me.” Jeremy laughed.
A knock from the door caused Aven to put Jeremy on hold and answer it. As she opened the door, Mike, the film director looked down upon her due to his height. In his arms was a box full of rolled posters.
“Tristan is sleeping and wouldn't answer his door. I figure this is part of your job anyway.” He offered out the box. “Have him sign them all for the staff, and bring them back to me tonight. He is the last one to sign and I want everyone to have one by tomorrow.”
Aven guessed these were some sort of posters for the movie they were working on. “Alright, I'll see if I can get him up and signing.” She shut the door after bringing in the box and returned to her phone call. “I will have to call you back. The biggest dick in the world wants me to force a tired and sleeping man to sign posters for a film that at most tens of people will watch.”
Jeremy laughed. “Alright, talk to you later then.”
Sitting in Tristan's apartment, Ayanna turned off the television and looked to the other side of the couch. It was empty as she excepted it to be. Standing up, she realized she had never turned on the lights as she headed back upstairs. The nights were becoming sleepless as she became more anxious over Tristan's return.
When she made it to her room, she looked at the alarm clock and nearly choked on her own tongue. It was only ten in the evening, she had been certain it would be much later than that. Laying down on the bed on her belly with her face in the pillow, she tried to mentally convince herself to sleep. Noah had gone to bed early so she hadn't been able to stay up with him as long which was normally until midnight.
As she lay in the bed in her own boredom and sleeplessness, she heard the phone ring and without thinking she sat up and answered it. “Hello?” She realized she had not looked at the caller ID.
“Wow, you picked up.” Scott's voice came through clear. He had been calling her every night around bed time since their argument but she never answered.
Ayanna looked at the phone and thought about hanging it up, but she didn't want to burn her bridge with him too much. After all, he was in some ways her employer and she didn't want to treat him so poorly that he wouldn't pay her. “What is it?”
“I am not calling about anything specific. I just want to chat like we used to before bed.” His voice sounded uncertain.
“I told you that we need to keep our relationship on a purely professional level, Scott. This isn't in anyway professional, so unless you have a work related issue...”
“Ayanna, stop.” He spoke firmly. “I get it alright. You want to put some distance between us because you don't want me to have feelings for you, right? Well, that isn't working for me. I only think and worry about you more now. I really don't understand what has changed between us, other than you now know of my feelings. I had them before I told you and we were close.”
Scott couldn't tell if she was silent because she had nothing to say or if he had made her speechless. He waited patiently for her to respond, but it seemed like an eternity passed and she said nothing.
“Hello?” He wondered if they had lost connection.
“I'm here.” Ayanna barely whispered the words. “What do you want from me?”
“Ayanna, you're my best friend. The way I told you about my feelings was not only rude, but it was very selfish of me. All this time I had been carrying a torch for you and then I just suddenly throw everything at you. It was wrong.” He chuckled bitterly. “The funny thing about all of this is that I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to damage our friendship, and then I go off on you like that. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, and forget I ever said anything. I just want my friend back.”
“I don't know.”
“I am going on a date soon with Joseph's cousin, and he thinks she'll be a really good match for me.” Scott wanted to convince her that he was truly moving on.
She frowned. “You said before that you dated women just so I wouldn't worry about you.”
He cleared his throat to buy himself some time as he had hoped she had forgotten about that. “I was never serious about moving passed you then, but now I am. I really need you to help me out here. You know I am nervous on dates and only your advice gets me through it.”
Ayanna's end was silent again and once more he waited patiently for a response. “We will see. Right now, I am not going to make any decisions.”
“At least you are thinking about it.” He tried to find something else to talk to her about but came up empty. “I guess I'll talk to you at work then.”
“Goodnight, Scott.”
Noah stood in the living room portion of his apartment and looked over the items that resided within it. Over the last few days, he was having memories randomly appear whenever he looked at anything that Aven had touched or asked about.
His ceramic black cat that looked so out of place within the modern apartment had been one of those items. Normally, it would have reminded him of his mother, but now it carried a conversation he had with Aven. His matching crystal glass set that he had put out proudly and never used, had been confused with a normal glass by the woman and she had drank wine from it. He still hadn't cleaned it properly and there was some red stains that he didn't feel comfortable washing away.
Noah knew this was all sentiment and that he had no use for it. Now that Aven was gone and would be returning he realized how lonely it was around here. He decided that when she returned that he would make himself scarce and find other friends, and eventually a place to move to. The fact that he was relying so heavily on her was a burden to him, one he didn't want to deal with.
Even when he and Aven weren't talking, he knew she had been downstairs and at any moment he could go find her. However this time around, she wasn't even a phone call away as he didn't have the number. He could certainly ask Ayanna for it, but it would make him look weak and perhaps give Ayanna hope. He wouldn't use the number, in truth, it would just be in his possession to give him some sort of security.
He shook his head and tried to rid his mind of these thoughts. That is exactly what he had allowed her to become; his security blanket. Instead of spending all his hours alone in a motel room, he pretended to live with someone so he didn't have to face loneliness. He had allowed her to enter into his life for far too long and then allowed himself to feel guilt over using her.
“Noah?” Ayanna's voice came shortly after a knock. “Are you still awake?”
His heart raced not because it was Ayanna, but because someone was coming to interrupt his strange new train of thought that had been haunting him lately. Heading down the stairs, he opened the door and looked at the woman dressed in red pajamas. “Yes?”
“I'm sorry, did I wake you?” She didn't know why she asked that, he was obviously in the same clothes that he had worn earlier.
Noah shook his head. “No, I was just having a nightcap. Why?”
“I can't sleep.” She sighed. “I am so worried, but so excited about Tristan's and Aven's return. Also, that Brie is sitting in my stomach like a brick.”
He chuckled and began up the stairs leaving his door open for her to enter. Ayanna stepped inside and shut the door before she made her way up. Sitting down on the couch, she watched as Noah poured her a glass of a mystery red wine and offered it out to her.
“Do you just sit up here and stare at the walls?” She asked when she noticed there was no television. She had been in the apartment a couple of times, but never long enough or calmly enough to have a look around.
“I usually read or write, and occasionally I will listen to the radio to hear the news or look it up on the internet.” He sat down beside her on the black leather sofa.
Ayanna took a huge gulp of her wine. “I know that I keep saying this, but this house is too quiet and too empty. I thought that I was missing Tristan, but you know I might be missing Aven the most. We've spent most of our lives together and she is suddenly gone. Even when I didn't live here, I came over all the time to hang out.”
Noah gently nodded his head unsure of how to respond. “We won't have to wait much longer.”
She turned her attention from his knickknacks that sat on the glass bookshelves to him. “You said we.” She smirked knowingly.
“Don't read too much into it.” He smiled as he began to tease her. “I just can't wait for Tristan to take you off my hands.”
“Ha, ha, very funny.”
She had been given a spare key card to his room in order to wake him up in the morning in case he didn't get up on his own. When she knocked several times and received no answer, she unlocked the door and helped herself inside. Walking toward the bed, she found Tristan fast asleep in his clothes on top of the blankets.
Shaking him gently, he didn't awake so she tried a bit harder which only caused him to startle. Tristan sat up quickly with his eyes wide and a balled up fist ready to punch. It took a moment for him to realized that the woman holding a defensive position with her hands in front of her face was Aven. He lowered his arm and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I wake up ready to fight like that when I am sleeping deeply.”
“It's fine.” She grabbed the box of posters that she had put on the ground and place them on the bed. “Mike says he wants you to sign these right now and he wants them back.”
“What are they?” He peeked inside the box.
“Posters for the cast and crew. I guess they are some sort of keepsake that he had everyone do.” She pulled the black marker from the box and one poster before locating a spot on a low dresser for him to sign them.
Tristan walked over to the dresser and signed each poster as it was offered to him. Once he finished, she offered him a grin. “You can get back to sleeping. I'll deliver these.”
“Ok.”
Aven picked up the box but it slipped from her hands and tumbled to the ground. Tristan and she fell to their knees and began to put them back. “I'm tired, sorry.”
“It's alright.” He told her as the final one was in place and he looked up at her. His heart raced when he realized how close he was sitting to her.
Looking up at the man in front of her, she could tell that Tristan was staring at her. She too realized the distance between them was short and began to feel awkward. When he cleared his throat and began to stand up, Aven did something she would beat herself up over for a long time. Reaching out, she grabbed his face and began to kiss him.
Tristan didn't resist in the least and began to reciprocate as soon as her lips touched his own. It was an opportunity that he had no intention of wasting as he pulled them both into a standing position, before coaxing her toward the bed. He had no idea how far she would let him go, but from the movement of her hands on his body he was confident in his guess.
Aven's shoes, pants, and underwear were the only items of clothing that were removed, mostly from one leg, as Tristan barely pulled his own down. What occurred between them was raw and rough, as neither wanted any time to think or wait a second longer.
For the first time in his life, he felt comfortable being in this position with a woman though he barely thought about it as he harshly kissed her lips. It was almost as if he was trying to prevent any protests from leaving her mouth. He could barely contain himself and as they both reached their destination, the kisses ended and they both breathed deeply with their lips barely touching each others.
Tristan kissed her when the final wave ended on her end and then moved off her in hopes of holding her close that evening. Aven had other ideas and quickly stood from the bed, she put her clothes on quickly and grabbed the box.
“This can never ever happen again!” She spoke with panic.
Sitting up, he opened his mouth to speak but couldn't figure out the question that was appropriate to ask.
“I was feeling lonely and vulnerable and I took advantage of you. I'm really sorry.” Hurrying toward the door, she stopped to look at him. “Don't ever whisper a word of this to my sister, do you understand?”
Tristan nodded but remained confused over what was occurring. He watched her exit the room and slam the door as he brought his brows together while he thought the situation over. There would be very little sleep from him that evening.
Sitting in the lavish living room, Camille sat down on the couch beside him after she offered him a glass of wine. He had visited her home on several occasions while Aven and Tristan were away. “I am not used to you visiting for personal reasons and multiple times too, Noah. Well, not since Autumn could no longer drag you over here.”
He looked at the wine glass in his hand and recalled that it was only eleven in the morning, but that didn't seem to stop Camille. Having one glass this early wouldn't hurt, he decided. “The house is a bit quiet, especially when Ayanna goes out.”
“So, you are lonely?” She chuckled. “How out of character for you. Normally, you leap at the chance to spend as much time alone as possible.”
Turning his head to make eye contact, Noah gave a glare that told her he wasn't amused. “Are you going to poke at me or be my friend?”
Taking a large swig of her wine, she set the glass down on the coffee table and got comfortable on the couch. She twisted herself so that one leg was completely on the couch minus the foot, and the other leg hung off. Both of her hands were tossed of the back of the couch and she laid her head down on her arms. “May I suggest that you might have feelings for this Aven?”
“No, you may not.” He took a sip of his wine.
“I may not because it's not true or because you don't want to hear it?” She smirked but there was a look of pity that went along with it.
“It's not true.”
Camille chuckled which quickly turned to sarcasm. “Right, because if you don't want to admit it, then why you would tell me so?” She exhaled and continued to watch him. “Darling, you look like a little lost puppy. I just want to bundle you up and make everything better for you.”
“You wouldn't rescue a dog no matter how pitiful it looked.” He snapped back playfully.
“Well, they are dirty little creatures and far too much work, but I can still find the small babies cute.” She reached out her hand and brushed something off his shoulder before resting her hand on him. “Do you want me to sleep with you? Will that make it better?”
Noah pressed his lips together and once again glared at her. “Don't be such a bitch.”
“Fine, fine.” She smiled before reaching for her wine glass to take another swig. “If you don't tell me what is bothering you, I can't help you.”
“I don't need you to help me. I just want you to keep me company.” Noah put the glass on the table and stood up. He walked over to the windows and put his hands in his slacks' pockets.
Watching him, Camille frowned before she made her way to stand beside him. “It's difficult, isn't it?”
He turned his attention away from the skyline and looked into her eyes. “What?”
“Moving on. You just want to hold onto the past and all your feelings, because if you let go then you don't have any more excuses to keep yourself prisoner. It also feels like you might be betraying the woman of the past, doesn't it?” She put her hand on his shoulder once more.
“If you keep insisting on accusing me of having feelings for that lunatic, then I'll leave.”
Camille shrugged her shoulders. “That's not much of a threat for me, Noah.”
---***
Aven had found relief whenever Tristan left her presence. The two had found an uncomfortable awkwardness between them since the night they had kissed, but neither wanted to discuss it. Aven was angry with herself that she had allowed her vulnerability to make her so weak that she would betray her sister. She knew how much Ayanna cared for Tristan even if it was obvious he didn't feel the same way.
She kept telling herself that Tristan had only gotten caught up in the moment and that she had gone along because her feelings for Noah had made her want to be wanted by someone. Part of her had always known that Tristan may have cared for her as more than friends, but she knew if she kept denying it that nothing would ever happen. Instead, she got too careless. She put herself in a position where Tristan easily could take advantage of her and in some ways she had wanted it to happen. After all, Noah had taught her the simplest way to forget her problems.
“Knock, knock.” Cathleen tossed aside the tent flap and step inside. She had been coming over while Tristan was shooting his scenes to talk with Aven. “How are you doing?”
“I'm good.” Aven stood up and cleared off the chair for her to sit down. Tristan had tossed his clothes onto it. “Have a seat.”
“I brought you an ice coffee. I know you like mocha.” She offered the plastic cup to her. “I drank mine on the way here. I haven't eaten sugar since I found out I would get this part and how much nudity it had. Have to look my best.” She giggled. “So, now that it's winding down and I get something sweet, I just inhale it.”
Aven smiled gently at her as she took the beverage from her. “Thank you very much. I heard that you are leaving early.”
Cathleen nodded as she sat down in the white plastic chair. “Yes, all my scenes are finished up. Tristan just has to redo some of his scenes, but Mike says he can use everything I shot.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Tonight. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I just can't wait another second. I know this is Florida and we've been on the beach this entire time, but I just want to go home.” She crossed her legs. “I wanted to come and hang out with you one last time, before I head to the airport.” Cathleen offered a large smile. “You have been a good friend this entire time and I am going to miss you. I was wondering if I could get your home number so we could keep in contact.”
Aven wondered if she really just wanted to be able to contact Tristan, since she often asked questions about him. After a moment, she decided it didn't really matter. She had said before that Tristan would cheat if he really wanted to, so she wrote the number down on a post-it and handed it to the actress.
Cathleen pulled out her cell phone and entered the number into memory, which made Aven realize she should have just offered to enter it in instead of wasting paper. “Thanks.” Cathleen smiled again. Standing up, she opened her arms to get a hug from the woman who was sitting on the cot. Aven stood up and gave her a hug. “I wish I could stay and talk more, but my flight leaves in like four hours and it takes forever to get through security now.” She stepped back away from the hug. “Oh, let me give you my number.”
Taking the pen from the make-up desk, she used the back of the post-it that Aven had offered her. “Thanks.” Aven smiled at her when she handed it to her.
“I really had a great time. Hopefully, this movie will do really well and we will see each other at award ceremonies. Of course, I will see you for opening night, right?”
“If Tristan wants me to come.”
She giggled. “I think Tristan would take you anywhere you wanted to go.” She winked before giving one of her beautiful smiles. “I'll see you soon.”
Aven watched her walk out of the tent and then sat back down on the cot. She wondered what Cathleen had meant by her last comment, but the thought was too uncomfortable to think over. Laying back down on the cot, she looked up at the tent's ceiling and sighed to herself. It was just a kiss but she felt so guilty for reciprocating.
---***
It was the first time that Scott would be able to see her since he admitted his feelings to her. He had called the weeks before begging her to talk to him, but she never answered the phone and his messages went unanswered. The only reason she was coming in this time was to help him with a work related matter since she had promised her sister that she would make a few more bucks for them.
Sitting down in his office in the chair in front of his desk, Ayanna crossed her legs and looked over the large hunk of wood that separated them. There was no look on her face that told him that she was happy to see him.
“How have you been?” Scott folded his hand on the desk and tried to offer her a smile.
“I'm fine. What did you need me for today?” Her voice was cold and she seemed like she wanted to escape though still look prideful.
He fumbled with some papers on his desk before putting them into a folder and holding them out to her. “I have to do a few interviews and I would like you to assist me.”
Taking the folder from him, she looked over some of the applications. “Not all of these are for models. You want me to help interview accountants?”
Watching her flip through the paperwork, Scott couldn't help but feel bittersweet. He was excited that she was finally willing to see him again, but he couldn't help but replay her words in his mind. Did she really see him as some nerd in a dumpster?
“Did you mean what you said about me?” He asked before he thought through the consequences.
Ayanna looked up from the folder and seemed unsure of what he was talking about.
“You said I would always be the nerd in the trashcan and that I would basically always be beneath you.” He played with a pen in order to ward off any uncomfortable feelings though it hardly worked.
Closing the folder, she glared at him for several seconds before answering. “Now is not the time, Scott. That's a private matter and I didn't come here to deal with that. I am here for professional reasons only. Got it?”
“You can't take two seconds to say yes or no to my question?” He dropped the pen on the desk and stood up, before walking around the side of the desk and sitting down on it in front of her. “Don't you think you at least owe me that after saying something like that to me?”
Standing up, Ayanna frowned. “Let's get these interviews over.” She turned to leave but her arm was quickly caught by his hand.
“Ayanna, did you mean what you said?”
She exhaled audibly and then turned to face him. “No, alright? I said those things to hurt you. I have always thought of you as my friend and even a brother. I don't think of you as some good for nothing nerd.”
Arms wrapped around her shoulders and she was pulled into his chest before she could react. Scott kissed the side of her cheek while her hands that held the folder to her chest were locked in between their bodies. “I really missed you. I'm sorry about what I said.”
Ayanna tried to hold back tears. “I'm sorry too.” She whispered the apology.
“Let's forget that I ever said anything and go back to being the way we were.” He stepped back and placed his hands on her shoulders.
“That's not possible.” She could tell her response had startled him. “Our friendship is forever changed, Scott. You told me that you've been in love with me for a long time. How can I just ignore that?”
“Then what do you plan to do?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Keep distance from you. Maybe that will help you to get over me. From now on we are just professionals. I'm sorry.”
---***
Tristan pretended to read his script as he sat in the chair in his tent during a break, while Aven pretended to read her book that she had already finished. Both would occasionally look up from their item to briefly look at the other person. They had tried to act as if everything was normal between them, but both were stuck on what had occurred.
He knew that this was a huge screw up and couldn't believe he had gotten the nerve up to do such a thing. Never in his life had he made a move on someone before and of course it had to be at a time when it was the absolute wrong thing to do. All he could think of was how stupid he was, even though it had been helpful. Whenever he filmed an intimate scene, he would just pretend that it was Aven that it was happening with. The director had told him several times how much better he had gotten overnight.
Aven laying on the cot across the tent couldn't help but wonder what the hell she had done. She was certain there was no physical attraction to Tristan, but when he had kissed her she had responded. Was it because she was so lonely and didn't realize it? The kiss had happened weeks ago and she still felt awkward around Tristan. He hadn't tried to do anything to her since but they hadn't talked about it either, which seemed to make things only worse.
“Cathleen came by. She is leaving tonight.” Aven tried the same method of discussing something insignificant with him in order to destroy the tension.
“Yeah. She came to say goodbye to every one.” He cleared his throat. “My character loses hers in the end.” He smirked. “Weird how movies are, right?”
“What do you mean?”
Tristan looked up from his script. “I mean that she and I filmed the last scene weeks ago, but then we filmed scenes where we were together last. All the scenes are messed up so as the actor you have a tough time putting them together in your head. That is until you finally see the movie for yourself.”
She nodded. “Because of locations, right?”
“Right.”
Aven pressed her lips together. “We haven't really moved much from this area though. So, it's weird that they were so out of sequence.” When Tristan merely shrugged and continued to pretend to read his script, she spoke once more. “Are you excited about getting home soon? I feel exhausted.”
“It'll be nice to sleep in my own bed.” He tossed the script onto the make-up stand when he decided she wasn't going to let them live in their tense reality. The conversation felt so forced that it was nearly driving him crazy considering this woman was his comfortable person.
“Ayanna will be happy to have you back. She calls me every night with about two hundred questions. She says you don't talk to her enough to tell her what's going on, but I just tell her its because you are tired from filming.” She stretched out her arms and yawned. “Speaking of tired, we have all these beautiful surroundings around us, but it feels like they just drain me. I can't wait to get back to our dank little house.”
She had spoken quite quickly and Tristan understood how nervous she was. “I'm sorry.”
“Huh?” Aven looked confused though internally she thought she knew what he was apologizing for.
“I got carried away with the moment and acted on impulse. You don't have to be so intimidated by me. I won't let it happen again.” He lowered his head when he spoke and some of his words were mumbled.
She sighed heavily. “Was it that noticeable? I usually hide my feelings rather well.” She paused. “Who am I kidding? I'm sorry that I put you in that position. I was trying to help and I didn't realize that I might have been sending the wrong message.”
“You never sent a wrong message. I just got caught up in the moment. It's my fault.” Tristan stood up from his chair. “I am going to go for a walk. I'll be back in a couple minutes.”
---***
Scott sat quietly at his dining room table as he slowly ate his meal. His close friend, Joseph, could see that something was wrong but wasn't certain if he should ask. It seemed that Scott only ever called him over for a meal when he was upset or lonely, and it was usual for Joseph to just listening to him. It was almost always about Ayanna.
His rich friend had prepared them both a meal of salmon and asparagus. Joseph never ate like this at home and sometimes wondered if he took advantage of his friend, but whenever he brought it up Scott didn't seem bothered by it. Of course, he had always seemed willing to share his wealth as he claimed there was enough to go around.
“She says she doesn't want anything to do with me, but to be work acquaintances.” Scott finally spoke when he realized that his friend was simply watching him and not eating.
Joseph nodded his head and continued eating as his curiosity was now satiated. “I am telling you, man, you have got to get over this bitch.”
“Don't call her a bitch.”
“I didn't mean bitch like bitch, I meant it bitch like bi-atch, you know like woman.” He took a swig from his beer bottle. “You've been sweating this girl for years and never got anywhere. Now that she knows how you feel you got kicked to the curb. It's over, find someone else.”
“That's easier said than done.” He sighed.
Joseph shook his head as he watched his slender friend hunch over in his chair while he slowly shoveled food into his mouth. “Do you know how many bitches out there would love to be pampered this way by you? Hell, I'd go gay for this shit.”
Scott chuckled and glared up at his friend. “Problem is those women would want me for the money, not for me. Ayanna cared about me before she knew I could buy her anything. I just don't feel I could trust any woman to not judge me based on my financial situation.”
“What about someone who has money of her own?”
“Most of the time they are professionals and which one of them wants to admit their boyfriend is in the porn industry?” Scott tapped his fork against his plate as he spoke. “Only girls who would be alright with that aren't the type of girls you take home to mother. Ayanna is one of a kind.”
“There are women who work in your field that aren't on camera, you know? They can have money of their own too. I think you are just making excuses up to prevent yourself from liking anyone else.” Joseph always found that their conversations were about Scott and his life. He often wondered how much of his life that Scott knew about, but he decided long ago that this was the way their friendship worked. “I got a cousin who is super fine. She's smart has a BA in something or other, and she is kind... does charity bullshit. I think you might hit it off with her.”
“I don't know, Joseph, I mean...”
“She's jumped between douches her whole life, some rich and others not. All she wants is a nice guy who wants to build something with her.” He took a bite of his salmon. “It won't hurt to just meet her. You might find that she's a pretty awesome chick.”
Scott stared at his friend for a while. “And what if she and I don't work out? There could be problems between us.”
“Won't be any problems unless you treat her like shit.” He had been speaking with a mouth full of food and promptly swallowed it down. “It won't kill you to meet her. I've told her about you and Ayanna in the past, and she seems to have at least a passing interest in you. So, you won't be going into a situation where she doesn't know where your stupid ass obsessions lie.”
“You talk about my problems to other people?”
“Just her. She's real insightful. Hell, half the shit I say to you comes from her.” Joseph quickly finished his beer for fear that he might be kicked out of the apartment any moment now.
Scott seemed to stop and think as he took a deep breath. “Alright, I'll meet your cousin, but she better be hot.”
“She is, dude, don't worry. I won't steer you wrong.”
---***
The dog at his feet would briefly lick at his toes from time to time before it would fall back asleep. Noah sat at the table with Ayanna at his side. It felt like the two had talked about everything they could so they would sit in silence as they drank their wine. This had become an every night occurrence for them. They never discussed it but over time it just seemed to be the way the habit had formed.
Noah would talk to himself and make his way downstairs, and Ayanna would hate being alone in her portion of the house so the kitchen was the only safe room to be. It seemed comfortable enough for both of them to share the kitchen as they had for many meals before. Though it was strange that the other two members of the house weren't there.
“Only a few more days now and the household will be complete again.” Ayanna mumbled her words as she stared at Tristan's chair. “Do you think they missed being here?”
“The two homebodies? Of course. They are probably dying to get back and ensure that their ass prints on the couch haven't been damaged.” Noah teased trying to lighten her mood.
She smirked. “Yeah, I guessed that part. I just hoped they missed us too. Like maybe his time away from me has made Tristan appreciate me more.”
“One can only hope.” He really didn't know what else to say to that.
Noah had found himself watching Ayanna less and worrying more about what would happen when Aven arrived home. It felt like years had passed since he last spoke to her, but the pillows on his bed still carried her scent to some degree. Of course, it wasn't that he was sniffing the pillows or anything, he just happened to roll over and notice it.
Without Aven around, he had lost his muse to write for his new novel. It was just sitting on his computer waiting to be written, but he had no interest in writing it. Every time he opened the file up, he would find himself staring blankly at the notes and attempting to figure out the best way to begin. After about fifteen minutes, he would decide that today was not the day and close the file.
“I bought some Brie and those bread bowls. I was going to make some for us tonight. I think I'll get them started now so I won't be too drunk later.” Ayanna stood up from the table and began to gather together her ingredients.
“Don't think I have ever eaten Brie.” Noah sat quietly as he thought over the cheeses he had eaten over the years and the parties that had offered them. “Nope, not that I recall.”
Ayanna smiled. “Well, you are in for a treat.”
These conversations were dull and they both knew it. Noah remembered how interesting it had been to discuss things with Aven, while Ayanna thought of how much of a challenge Tristan was. Noah and Ayanna really never had anything to talk about that wasn't more than something an old couple would. They chatted about the weather constantly and the only other topic that ever came up was Tristan and Aven, but mostly Tristan. Noah didn't like to talk about Aven unless it was her sister telling him stories that he could use for his book.
“Do you think that Aven will be alright with what happened with you when she gets back? I mean that's partially the reason why she left.” Ayanna cut the top off the bread bowl.
“It would be nice if that were so, but she'll probably hold a grudge for some time.” Noah chuckled to himself. “Mind if I tell you something, just between us?”
“Sure.”
“Sometimes I talk to her thinking she's in my room with me.” He glared into the golden liquid in his glass. “I miss her company, I guess.”
Ayanna smiled gently though his back was turned and he couldn't see it. “I wish I could hear Tristan say something like that about me.” She cleared her throat. “Sorry, I made it about myself again. I should have said that's really sweet actually.”
“It doesn't mean anything, I just miss her company that's all.”
---***
Sitting on the edge of her hotel bed, Aven held her phone to her ear and smiled as Jeremy told a little joke. She had been told by her sister that he wanted her to call him, but she kept putting it off since she had been so tired.
“You are really back now?” Aven asked and shuffled her feet in excitement.
There was a smile in his voice as he spoke. “Yes. I moved into my house and am now waiting for your return. Fitting, isn't it?”
She giggled. “I can't believe that you moved back while I was gone. I mean I knew you were moving back in that time frame, but it's just ironic I guess.”
“How is everything going out there? Ayanna seemed to be nervous about Tristan being alone with you.” He cleared his throat after speaking and then seemed to take a drink of something.
Releasing a sigh, Aven tried to figure out a way to best explain everything to him. “Tristan isn't really into my sister. Ayanna is the one that keeps pushing herself onto him and I think he is worried about turning her down since she is his landlady.”
“Really?” He sounded surprise. “Ayanna has always been so confident. I couldn't imagine her forcing her way through a relationship.”
“She's a great deal more fragile than she lets on. I think something happened with her while she was with Carlin, but whenever I have brought the subject up I have been stonewalled.” Aven laid back on her bed and stretched out her legs. “I guess she'll tell me when she wants me to know.” She began to chew on her bottom lip.
“You never answered my question. How are things going out there?” Jeremy's voice continued to hold a smile.
“I feel like a kenneled dog. They kept saying I was in the way so they sent me to the tent. I wanted to see the filming process even if it was this low budget shit that will never make it into the mainstream.” She sighed. “Oh well, I got to see Florida. Tristan and I went swimming during a day off and I have eaten in some good restaurants, even tried Cuban food.”
“Wow, Aven being adventurous. Color me shocked.” He teased. “When you get back let me take you out. It's amazing how much things have changed. Most of my friends have moved away and now I really only have you, your sister, and Scott.”
“I forgot that you and Scott had something going.”
Jeremy snorted. “Don't say it like that. Makes it sound like we were lovers. Yeah, I didn't keep in contact with him much either. It feels weird to come back here. I mean you all have changed in your relationships and the way you live your lives, and I feel like I am disrupting the new, I guess, groove you guys got going on.”
“Please, we could all use some shaking up. Man, I forgot that Scott and I used to hang out together with you guys.” She chuckled. “Man that reminds me of this one time that we got drunk and he thought I was Ayanna and confessed to me. He didn't remember anything the next day.”
“You are kidding me.” Jeremy laughed.
A knock from the door caused Aven to put Jeremy on hold and answer it. As she opened the door, Mike, the film director looked down upon her due to his height. In his arms was a box full of rolled posters.
“Tristan is sleeping and wouldn't answer his door. I figure this is part of your job anyway.” He offered out the box. “Have him sign them all for the staff, and bring them back to me tonight. He is the last one to sign and I want everyone to have one by tomorrow.”
Aven guessed these were some sort of posters for the movie they were working on. “Alright, I'll see if I can get him up and signing.” She shut the door after bringing in the box and returned to her phone call. “I will have to call you back. The biggest dick in the world wants me to force a tired and sleeping man to sign posters for a film that at most tens of people will watch.”
Jeremy laughed. “Alright, talk to you later then.”
---***
Sitting in Tristan's apartment, Ayanna turned off the television and looked to the other side of the couch. It was empty as she excepted it to be. Standing up, she realized she had never turned on the lights as she headed back upstairs. The nights were becoming sleepless as she became more anxious over Tristan's return.
When she made it to her room, she looked at the alarm clock and nearly choked on her own tongue. It was only ten in the evening, she had been certain it would be much later than that. Laying down on the bed on her belly with her face in the pillow, she tried to mentally convince herself to sleep. Noah had gone to bed early so she hadn't been able to stay up with him as long which was normally until midnight.
As she lay in the bed in her own boredom and sleeplessness, she heard the phone ring and without thinking she sat up and answered it. “Hello?” She realized she had not looked at the caller ID.
“Wow, you picked up.” Scott's voice came through clear. He had been calling her every night around bed time since their argument but she never answered.
Ayanna looked at the phone and thought about hanging it up, but she didn't want to burn her bridge with him too much. After all, he was in some ways her employer and she didn't want to treat him so poorly that he wouldn't pay her. “What is it?”
“I am not calling about anything specific. I just want to chat like we used to before bed.” His voice sounded uncertain.
“I told you that we need to keep our relationship on a purely professional level, Scott. This isn't in anyway professional, so unless you have a work related issue...”
“Ayanna, stop.” He spoke firmly. “I get it alright. You want to put some distance between us because you don't want me to have feelings for you, right? Well, that isn't working for me. I only think and worry about you more now. I really don't understand what has changed between us, other than you now know of my feelings. I had them before I told you and we were close.”
Scott couldn't tell if she was silent because she had nothing to say or if he had made her speechless. He waited patiently for her to respond, but it seemed like an eternity passed and she said nothing.
“Hello?” He wondered if they had lost connection.
“I'm here.” Ayanna barely whispered the words. “What do you want from me?”
“Ayanna, you're my best friend. The way I told you about my feelings was not only rude, but it was very selfish of me. All this time I had been carrying a torch for you and then I just suddenly throw everything at you. It was wrong.” He chuckled bitterly. “The funny thing about all of this is that I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to damage our friendship, and then I go off on you like that. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, and forget I ever said anything. I just want my friend back.”
“I don't know.”
“I am going on a date soon with Joseph's cousin, and he thinks she'll be a really good match for me.” Scott wanted to convince her that he was truly moving on.
She frowned. “You said before that you dated women just so I wouldn't worry about you.”
He cleared his throat to buy himself some time as he had hoped she had forgotten about that. “I was never serious about moving passed you then, but now I am. I really need you to help me out here. You know I am nervous on dates and only your advice gets me through it.”
Ayanna's end was silent again and once more he waited patiently for a response. “We will see. Right now, I am not going to make any decisions.”
“At least you are thinking about it.” He tried to find something else to talk to her about but came up empty. “I guess I'll talk to you at work then.”
“Goodnight, Scott.”
---***
Noah stood in the living room portion of his apartment and looked over the items that resided within it. Over the last few days, he was having memories randomly appear whenever he looked at anything that Aven had touched or asked about.
His ceramic black cat that looked so out of place within the modern apartment had been one of those items. Normally, it would have reminded him of his mother, but now it carried a conversation he had with Aven. His matching crystal glass set that he had put out proudly and never used, had been confused with a normal glass by the woman and she had drank wine from it. He still hadn't cleaned it properly and there was some red stains that he didn't feel comfortable washing away.
Noah knew this was all sentiment and that he had no use for it. Now that Aven was gone and would be returning he realized how lonely it was around here. He decided that when she returned that he would make himself scarce and find other friends, and eventually a place to move to. The fact that he was relying so heavily on her was a burden to him, one he didn't want to deal with.
Even when he and Aven weren't talking, he knew she had been downstairs and at any moment he could go find her. However this time around, she wasn't even a phone call away as he didn't have the number. He could certainly ask Ayanna for it, but it would make him look weak and perhaps give Ayanna hope. He wouldn't use the number, in truth, it would just be in his possession to give him some sort of security.
He shook his head and tried to rid his mind of these thoughts. That is exactly what he had allowed her to become; his security blanket. Instead of spending all his hours alone in a motel room, he pretended to live with someone so he didn't have to face loneliness. He had allowed her to enter into his life for far too long and then allowed himself to feel guilt over using her.
“Noah?” Ayanna's voice came shortly after a knock. “Are you still awake?”
His heart raced not because it was Ayanna, but because someone was coming to interrupt his strange new train of thought that had been haunting him lately. Heading down the stairs, he opened the door and looked at the woman dressed in red pajamas. “Yes?”
“I'm sorry, did I wake you?” She didn't know why she asked that, he was obviously in the same clothes that he had worn earlier.
Noah shook his head. “No, I was just having a nightcap. Why?”
“I can't sleep.” She sighed. “I am so worried, but so excited about Tristan's and Aven's return. Also, that Brie is sitting in my stomach like a brick.”
He chuckled and began up the stairs leaving his door open for her to enter. Ayanna stepped inside and shut the door before she made her way up. Sitting down on the couch, she watched as Noah poured her a glass of a mystery red wine and offered it out to her.
“Do you just sit up here and stare at the walls?” She asked when she noticed there was no television. She had been in the apartment a couple of times, but never long enough or calmly enough to have a look around.
“I usually read or write, and occasionally I will listen to the radio to hear the news or look it up on the internet.” He sat down beside her on the black leather sofa.
Ayanna took a huge gulp of her wine. “I know that I keep saying this, but this house is too quiet and too empty. I thought that I was missing Tristan, but you know I might be missing Aven the most. We've spent most of our lives together and she is suddenly gone. Even when I didn't live here, I came over all the time to hang out.”
Noah gently nodded his head unsure of how to respond. “We won't have to wait much longer.”
She turned her attention from his knickknacks that sat on the glass bookshelves to him. “You said we.” She smirked knowingly.
“Don't read too much into it.” He smiled as he began to tease her. “I just can't wait for Tristan to take you off my hands.”
“Ha, ha, very funny.”
---***
She had been given a spare key card to his room in order to wake him up in the morning in case he didn't get up on his own. When she knocked several times and received no answer, she unlocked the door and helped herself inside. Walking toward the bed, she found Tristan fast asleep in his clothes on top of the blankets.
Shaking him gently, he didn't awake so she tried a bit harder which only caused him to startle. Tristan sat up quickly with his eyes wide and a balled up fist ready to punch. It took a moment for him to realized that the woman holding a defensive position with her hands in front of her face was Aven. He lowered his arm and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I wake up ready to fight like that when I am sleeping deeply.”
“It's fine.” She grabbed the box of posters that she had put on the ground and place them on the bed. “Mike says he wants you to sign these right now and he wants them back.”
“What are they?” He peeked inside the box.
“Posters for the cast and crew. I guess they are some sort of keepsake that he had everyone do.” She pulled the black marker from the box and one poster before locating a spot on a low dresser for him to sign them.
Tristan walked over to the dresser and signed each poster as it was offered to him. Once he finished, she offered him a grin. “You can get back to sleeping. I'll deliver these.”
“Ok.”
Aven picked up the box but it slipped from her hands and tumbled to the ground. Tristan and she fell to their knees and began to put them back. “I'm tired, sorry.”
“It's alright.” He told her as the final one was in place and he looked up at her. His heart raced when he realized how close he was sitting to her.
Looking up at the man in front of her, she could tell that Tristan was staring at her. She too realized the distance between them was short and began to feel awkward. When he cleared his throat and began to stand up, Aven did something she would beat herself up over for a long time. Reaching out, she grabbed his face and began to kiss him.
Tristan didn't resist in the least and began to reciprocate as soon as her lips touched his own. It was an opportunity that he had no intention of wasting as he pulled them both into a standing position, before coaxing her toward the bed. He had no idea how far she would let him go, but from the movement of her hands on his body he was confident in his guess.
Aven's shoes, pants, and underwear were the only items of clothing that were removed, mostly from one leg, as Tristan barely pulled his own down. What occurred between them was raw and rough, as neither wanted any time to think or wait a second longer.
For the first time in his life, he felt comfortable being in this position with a woman though he barely thought about it as he harshly kissed her lips. It was almost as if he was trying to prevent any protests from leaving her mouth. He could barely contain himself and as they both reached their destination, the kisses ended and they both breathed deeply with their lips barely touching each others.
Tristan kissed her when the final wave ended on her end and then moved off her in hopes of holding her close that evening. Aven had other ideas and quickly stood from the bed, she put her clothes on quickly and grabbed the box.
“This can never ever happen again!” She spoke with panic.
Sitting up, he opened his mouth to speak but couldn't figure out the question that was appropriate to ask.
“I was feeling lonely and vulnerable and I took advantage of you. I'm really sorry.” Hurrying toward the door, she stopped to look at him. “Don't ever whisper a word of this to my sister, do you understand?”
Tristan nodded but remained confused over what was occurring. He watched her exit the room and slam the door as he brought his brows together while he thought the situation over. There would be very little sleep from him that evening.