Reflections of an Armedia
Elysium
Chapter Three
By RKP Hunt & Beans
It didn’t take us long to reach his room, though he went on about how it normally took him half an hour. The ship was confusing at first, but once you knew where all the elevators and shuttles lead to, it was easy to get around.
Halen opened the door, and let me enter inside first. It was just as I suspected it would be like. It was pretty much a two bedroom apartment, one of them looked like he had changed it into a study. He had left both doors open, which was strange since he had to tell them to stay open otherwise the default was shut. The rooms were to the left and the open kitchen was to the right. A dinning room was at the back of the first main room with a living room toward the door. I suspected the third door between the bedrooms was the bathroom, that door was left closed.
I felt jealous and not the giggling ‘Oh, you are so lucky, I am so jealous,’ but the ‘I hate you and can’t believe that you got this damn deluxe room, and you are a nobody on this ship’ kind of jealous. Here I was with my little bed and bathroom after years of service, and this lab rat gets one of the best rooms on the ship.
“Pasta?” He asked me as he headed into the kitchen and began to pull things out for the meal.
The more I looked around the apartment, the angry I became. I was almost getting to the point that I didn’t even want to go to the Rugby game anymore.
“Something the matter?” Halen asked as he cut up an onion.
I realized that I was just standing by the door for the past ten minutes and hadn’t even attempted to move elsewhere. “No.” I mumbled and sat down on the couch.
He chuckled, “I’m not going to try anything, so relax.”
Yeah, that wasn’t my problem, jerk.
When I looked back over at Halen, he had finished the onions and was wiping off the chopping block. He looked pretty cute in there cooking that I grinned right as he looked over and smiled at me. My eyes looked down and I completely forgot that I was angry about the apartment. My mind was now firmly on him. I had been so adamant about not wanting him that now it was going to be doubly awful having to admit that I did. I wasn't getting any closer to him sitting on the couch. I stood up and came up next to him in the kitchen.
"Need any help?" I asked even though I was a terrible cook. I rather hoped he would just pour me a glass of wine, and tell me to watch him work his magic.
"Sure, why don't you sauté the onions in some olive oil while I cut the pasta." My face paled at his words.
Sauté? What the hell?
"Cut the pasta? Why are you cutting it?"
He looked up at me with a smirk, "I'm making it from scratch. I always keep a ball of pasta dough in the fridge in case I feel like having some." Ok, I was in way over my head. I'd better confess before I ruined his gourmet meal.
"Uh, Halen." I stood nervously facing his side as he continued to roll out the pasta dough. I plucked at his sleeve in an effort to make him look at me.
"What?" He sounded sort of irritated.
"Well, I know you probably expect me to..." This was painful. I hated admitting that I couldn’t do something, but cooking had never been a strong point. I wasn’t even allowed to make toast back home.
He put down the cutter forcefully which forced me to stop speaking, and turned toward me with his arms crossed. "What? You've already said you weren't interested. I promised I wasn't going to try anything! Leave it alone, . It's hard enough with you here dressed like that, and knowing you won't let me show you how attracted I am to you. I didn't expect that you asked me to the match as some sort of date. I figured it was your side of the truce." He started to turn back to the counter and I grabbed his arm.
"No, that’s not what I meant. I…” I started.
"Damn it!" He whirled toward me and his mouth descended on mine before I could continue. "Is this what you want so you can tell me how I disgust you?" He kissed me again.
"Yes." I was melting into his embrace and my eyes drifted closed, even though I didn’t kiss him back. This was better than the dream
"Well Sugar, there I played your... what?" He stopped and his brows came together.
"I wasn’t talking about that, but since you’re doing it. More please?" I still had my eyes closed.
"More? What were you trying to tell me then?" Halen was being a jerk and had let go of me.
I opened my eyes and pressed my lips together, "Nothing...." I stepped toward him.
He stepped away from me. I wasn‘t sure if he was being playful or if he felt uneasy about my sudden acceptance. "Tell me what you were trying to tell me before."
"Fine, I suck at cooking. Now, are you going to kiss me or not?" I advanced toward him and reached out my hand.
Batting it away, Halen began to dance backwards, "Oh, the mighty soldier woman can't cook, huh? Interesting..." He was moving in the direction of the bedroom.
"No, but who cares. It's a stupid, sissy skill anyway. Why would I want to cook?" Too late I realized that I just insulted him horribly.
"Sissy? You saying I'm a sissy?" Halen was getting further away and I wanted him closer. I must have looked very desperate in those moments, and I would later feel slightly embarrassed over them. I really wanted to find out how I felt about Halen, and if I didn’t feel the way I thought, it didn’t matter. I had slept with a good amount of guys, one more wouldn’t hurt.
"You know what I meant!" I stopped and crossed my arms. “Will you come here?”
"Not until you say I'm not a sissy. And while we're at it, apologize for calling me a nerd."
"You are totally a nerd. You're not a sissy but the nerd thing, you're stuck with that." I teased.
Halen's back hit the bedroom door and he stopped in surprise. He turned to it, “Damn door, always gets stuck. I have to leave them open or I end up fighting them all night.” He managed to pry the door open, “I’ll be right back.”
I was shocked when he went into the bedroom and left me behind. He came out soon after with a small disk, “Here, you can have this.”
“What is it?” I looked at the disk in his hand that he offered to me.
“It’s has a bunch of easy recipes and tells you what terminology is. I used it when I first started cooking.”
“I told you cooking is for sissies, I don’t need it.”
Halen grabbed my hand and forced the disk into my palm, “Come on, let’s finish cooking.”
I stared at him in disbelief as he went back into the kitchen. The man had been all over me the other day in the hall, then he kisses me quite hard just a moment ago, afterwards I practically gave myself to him, but he is still interested in cooking instead. I felt like an idiot as my heart dropped into my stomach. He wasn’t really into me, was he? He was just playing games with me for some reason that I didn’t understand. I watched him finishing up kneading the dough and I frowned.
I opened the back of my data pad and pulled out two small circular disks that were the tickets to the Rugby match. I placed them on his table, before I exited his room. If he wanted the damn tickets enough that he would suffer me, who was I to stop him from going. I wish he would have taken them from me earlier when I offered for him and his father to go.
---***---
I made it back to my room only to find Keller standing outside my door. He smiled at me as I approached. He was my best friend in the entire universe, despite that he was constantly trying to make us more.
“What are you dressed up for?” He chuckled, but his smile faded as I got closer. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m an idiot.” I sniffled. “I think I just got rejected by a lab rat.” I pointed behind me with my thumb.
He stepped toward me and wrapped his arms around my shoulder. My cheek fell on his shoulder and I cried softly.
“Ugh, I’m so pathetic.” I mumbled.
“No, you aren’t. Any guy who rejects you is the pathetic idiot, .” He sighed as he listened to me cry for a moment longer. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I shook my head, as I whispered. “I don’t want to relive it.”
“I brought two bottles of wine. I was going to leave them by your door.” He stepped aside to show them to me. “Want to have one with me?”
I nodded my head and he placed his hand around my shoulder as we walked toward them. Both of us bent down and picked up a bottle. I opened the door with my thumb print and we entered into the bedroom.
Keller and I sat in my room for several hours, drinking wine, and talking about old times. I laughed the entire time he was there until he left with a kiss to my forehead. Like usual, he told me that he loved me. I was beginning to wonder if maybe Keller was the one for me after all.
---***
The next day, I went into the laboratory a little upset. No one had paged me on my data pad to tell me to come in when they got there. I entered at 0708 hours and looked at Halen who was sitting behind his monitor. He didn’t greet me, which was fine by me. I really didn’t need to be his play thing anyway.
I made my way over to my desk and sat down. I checked my messages to see if I had been sent anything, but it was empty. I worked on some things that needed to be forwarded to the correct departments for a few hours.
“This needs to go down to Medical 13C.” Halen said out loud, “Take it down there.”
I knew he was talking to me, so I stood up and grabbed the disk off his desk. “Is no one coming with me?” I asked.
“No.” He snapped and returned to what he was doing.
“Alright.” I began to walk toward the door.
“Go with her, one of us needs to know the way around this building.” Doctor Rhodes told Halen.
“She’s here to do the…”
“You should deliver your own research.” He snapped, “Go.”
Halen got up quickly and walked toward me before he snatched the disk from my hand. He stepped out into the hall and began to walk down the wrong way. I looked at Doctor Rhodes in shock.
“Don’t look at me, you did it.” He mumbled before he went back to work.
I stepped out into the hall and let the lab door close behind me, “Halen.”
“What?” He snapped as he turned around.
“It’s this way.” I pointed somewhat meekly and began to walk away.
Halen ended up rushing past me with long strides as we reached the shuttle, but he continued to the elevator.
“Halen, the shuttle. We’ll take it over eleven halls, and then take the elevator down to thirteen. If we go down the elevator now, it’s normally crowded because of the mess hall on that floor.”
He didn’t say anything to me as he came to stand next to me. I could see he was getting more agitated as we waited for the shuttle to come.
“Do you have something you want to say to me?” I finally asked.
“No.” He snapped.
I nodded my head and looked for where the shuttle was. There were three to each floor that went around the entire ship, so it could take a while sometimes.
“Yes, actually.” He turned to face me. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”
“What did I do to you?”
“What did you do to me?” His face was turning red from anger. “You ask me out to a Rugby game, which I think is you calling a truce. I offer to make you dinner, where you practically throw yourself at me telling me it’s not just for a truce. You get my hopes completely up, and then I turn around and you’re gone.”
“I…”
“When I go after you, I find you have met up with a guy at your place. The two of you are all over each other and then you go into your room.” His hissed, “I mean how what part of that isn’t something you didn’t do to me?”
“Keller and I were…”
He threw up his hands, “All this time, I thought that you were afraid I was tricking you, but it turns out you were the one playing games with me! You know what, please, get yourself transferred back to the captain’s office. Just looking at you makes me want to vomit.” He slammed the disk in my hand and went back to the office.
---***---
After I delivered the disk, I went back to the lab where I didn’t say a word to anyone. When work was over, I got up to speak to Halen, but he was already gone. I didn’t even notice that he had left.
“Was a terrible thing you did.” Doctor Rhodes said to me when I looked at Halen’s desk. “Be best if you left him alone.”
“It was a misunderstanding.” I told him.
“Was it?”
I nodded, “I…”
“Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. Just leave him alone. Halen can’t be reasoned with when he’s angry, you just have to wait for him to give you a sign. It could take months, he’s not very forgiving.”
I frowned and gave a nod of agreement. With a heavy heart, I went to the cantina, where I found Trevor and Keller as usual.
“Hey, feeling better, ?” Keller asked as I sat down beside him.
I rested my head on his shoulder, “Worse.”
“Once we are done here, we can go talk about it. Alright?”
I nodded my head, “Trevor, beer!” I said loudly which was unusual for me.
He stood up from leaning on the bar and talking to some other women, and came over to get me something. “What’s wrong with you?” He asked, not used to seeing me being touchy with Keller.
"Nothing really. Just a misunderstanding that keeps getting worse." I was halfway through my beer already.
"C'mon . Give." Trevor had been a good confidante for me over the years.
"You know the lab guy from the other night? We had a misunderstanding." I purposely glossed over the details.
"What about?” He tried to pull the details out, but when I glared at him, he sighed. “It couldn't be that bad. Just explain it to him. You're good at your job so it won't take much to convince him it was all a mistake. What happened? You take something to the wrong place?"
"Yo, Trevor!" Another customer yelled from the other end of the bar.
"Be right back, ."
"Sure." How much should I really tell Trevor? I did want to talk with someone but was this the right place?
"Hey, I'm still here you know." Keller nudged me with his shoulder against my cheek.
"I know." I rubbed my face against his shoulder briefly to inform him that I still felt his presence. I looked up at him and frowned.
"You could be talking to me. I'm not working and Trevor is. He can't give you his undivided attention like I can." Keller crossed his eyes in an effort to make me smile.
"He's also not trying to get romantically involved with me." I reminded him gently.
"True, but you can't blame me for wanting to take advantage of an opportunity." Keller wasn't smiling now. I knew that he did care for me on some level, but I just couldn't believe that this comfortable camaraderie was all I was destined to have.
"Keller, you know I love you right? I just don't love you like that." This wasn't helpful. "I'm going to bed."
"Alright, night." Keller leaned in to kiss my cheek but I got up and patted his shoulder as I walked away.
"Hey, !" I heard Trevor calling me.
"'Night, Trev!" I waved as I left the cantina.
---***---
Back in my room I tried to compose some sort of explanation of what had happened a couple of nights ago so I could send it to Halen. I know Doctor Rhodes said I should leave it alone and he was probably right, but I wanted to at least clear this up. We were working together for the next few weeks. By the time I finished writing it I realized he'd probably see that it was from me and delete it without even reading.
I didn't sleep well that night so I was groggy when I heard the beeping of my data pad.
Get in here was all it said. I looked at the clock and it read four in the morning. I told those guys I wouldn’t come in until six, and I hadn’t gotten to sleep until midnight anyway.
Growling to myself, I got ready and was to the lab in eighteen minutes. I don’t remember how I got to the lab or what I did to get ready. I was in a zombie state, and I only realized that I didn’t remember it when I got to the lab door. As it flew open, I walked in to chaos. Technicians were running around, everyone was talking at once and Halen and Doctor Rhodes had their heads together talking a mile a minute.
"Yes?" I came up beside them and tapped my foot impatiently "What is going on around here? And who sent me the kind request this morning?"
"Oh, ! Thank goodness!" Halen grabbed my hand and pulled me over to his desk. "We have to take this right away to the Chief of Medicine!"
"So, now you're talking to me." I was incredulous. I had been stewing about this for a day and a half! Now he acted like nothing ever happened.
"Not now. We can talk about that on the way back, but right now this needs to be rushed out."
We speed walked the whole way there, Halen went in and conversed with the Head of Medicine for about fifteen and then came out looking very happy. I had no idea what was going on.
“What is this all about?” I was still half asleep.
“Some of the samples that was collected we had some very interesting findings.”
“Like?” I raised my eyebrow.
“We have reason to believe there might be animal life on Yulberia.” That was the planet that the Elysium had recently found.
“What kind?” I wasn’t nearly as impressed by it as he was.
“Don’t know. It’s a completely different planet. Granted it has a similar environment to Earth, anything could have evolved there. It’s just surprising that those that collected the samples didn’t notice anything.”
I shrugged, “I wasn’t with them, so I don’t know.” We had began to walk back to the lab. “Can I go back to sleep?” I asked when we passed an elevator that would take me back to my room.
“Well, we…”
I pressed the down button before he could answer, “I’ll be in at six like usual.” I mumbled.
Halen’s hand flew out in front of me when the door dinged open. "So, tell me how I misunderstood seeing you with another guy after you snuck out of my room." Halen leaned against the wall in the hallway as he elevator door closed.
I stared at him for several long moments, then pressed the elevator door button again, but it was already on it’s way to another floor.
“I was at the cantina last night, I over heard your conversation.”
“You shouldn’t eavesdrop.” I scolded lightly.
“I tried to get Trevor to stop you from leaving, but you just waved him off. By the time I got through the crowd and into the hallway, you were gone. I wasn’t about to risk getting lost to make my way to your room. I’m willing to listen to you now.” His voice had softened as he spoke.
“We have too many misunderstandings, I think I am done explaining.” I told him through a sleepy haze that I was trying to shake. This was too important of a conversation to sleep through.
He stepped away from the wall, “I see.”
“Let’s just call it quits and try to be friends, alright?”
He stared at me with a frown, “Are you sure?”
I nodded, “It wouldn’t work anyway. In a few months you’ll be planet side and I’ll still be here. The best we could do is a fling, and honestly I’ve had enough of those.” The elevator door opened, “I’ll see you in an hour.”
“Make it three.”
I nodded and stepped into the elevator. Halen watched it close and when he was out of sight, I sighed. I didn’t know if I was making the right decision, but I couldn’t waste time on something that could never last.
---***---
Four months flew by and we were at the halfway point of our journey with the research group. Halen hadn’t spoken to me except for business matters since that day at the elevator. He had quietly accepted my rejection, while I had decided to take some of the guys up on their offers. None of them were what I was looking for, and I often found myself staring in Halen’s direction. Though, I knew not to do anything.
In less then a week, Halen and I had met, begun dating, and broken up. It had to be a record of some sort, at least that was what Keller would jokingly say. It had felt like an eternity to me and I never even got to know the man. I still didn’t know why he had rejected me that night in his room, he never did explain it to me. I didn’t know why I didn’t just stay, but something told me that all the misunderstandings were trying to tell me something. This wasn’t the man for me.
Even though I knew this, my heart still jumped when he called my name or when we accidentally bumped shoulders on the way out of the lab. Twice in the past months, he had walked with me to the shuttle, but now that he was learning his way around the ship, he didn’t need my help as much.
“.” Doctor Rhodes called me and I stood up to head over to his desk.
"Yes?” I asked when I arrived.
He grinned up at me, “Halen told me that you are friends with that bartender, is that true?”
I gave a nod.
“Everyone has been working so hard these past few months, that I wanted to give them some free time. I was thinking we could gather up some booze and have a party in my room. My wife has already started cooking.”
Doctor Rhodes’ wife was also part of the lab team, though I rarely saw her. She always joked that she was better suited to field work then lab work. Most of her time was spent looking over their findings.
“And you want me to bring the alcohol?”
He gave a nod, “Think you can manage?”
“I can, but I’ll need help carrying…”
“Halen!”
“Yeah?”
“Go with to give alcohol from the cantina.” He looked back at me, “Tell me how much it is and I’ll reimburse you.”
Halen came to stand next to me. “I’m going, so I’ll just pay for it.”
We stepped out of the corridor and headed toward the cantina. Halen didn’t say anything to me which was normal, but today I couldn’t tolerate it.
“How’s everything going?” I asked finally.
“Everything is on schedule.” He responded, it was obvious he was trying to talk about work so he didn’t have to talk about what had happened between us.
I sighed, “I wish you would treat me in a friendly manner. You’ve been really cold toward me.”
“I wonder why.” He mumbled.
I stopped dead in my tracks and he turned toward me with a frown, “What?”
“What does my father or mother do for a living?”
He stared at me blankly.
“How many brothers and sisters do I have?” I waited and got no answer, “What was my ranking in class during training? Where was I born and raised? How old am I? When is my birthday?”
“What is your point? You can’t answer any of those questions about me either.”
I gave a nod, “Exactly, so why the hell are you treating me like I ended a long term relationship? We hadn’t even become friends.”
“What does it matter now?”
I shrugged, “Let’s be friends. The both of us were going in totally the wrong direction right off the bat. I mean we barely…”
“I don’t want to be your friend.” He spoke coldly.
“Why not?” I asked and crossed my arms.
“I have three more months here and then I am leaving. I’ll probably be planet side for three or four years, before they send another team to take our place. It was stupid of us to try anything to begin with.”
“Stupid to try a romantic relationship, nothing wrong with being friends.” I think there was pleading in my voice, “Besides, I… I like you and I don’t want us to part on bad terms.”
Halen watched me for a moment, “And how to you propose we become friends?”
I grinned shyly, “Well there is a party tonight and then this weekend there is another Rugby match. Maybe we can actually go this time.”
He chuckled and gave a nod, “As friends, right?”
“Of course.”
“Good, because I want to know where I stand and not be confused about all this anymore.”
I gave a nod and smiled. “Let’s go get that alcohol.”
“Quick question though.” He said as I passed by him.
I stopped to look at him.
“I’ve been wondering about this for a while now. What did I misunderstand about you and Keller in the hall that night?”
I think I might have blushed, “When you seemingly rejected me, I got embarrassed and ran. He was there bringing me some wine because I didn’t show up at the cantina. He saw I was upset and was comforting me. That’s all.”
Halen face was blank for several moments, “I feel like an ass.”
“So, do I.” I mumbled back.
“What do you mean rejected you?” He asked as he jogged to catch up with me.
“Let’s not go down that road, please.”
He gave a nod as we entered into the cantina.
---***---
Trevor lent us a cart because we bought practically everything but the bar. We were laughing by the time we reached his dad's room as the cart had a front wheel with a mind of its own. We had nearly taken out four people in the hallway and the cart had escaped from the elevator once when it stopped for someone else to get in.
"Drinks are here!" I called out as we entered the room. Then I stopped in shock. This room was huge! There was a great big open living space with vaulted ceilings and what looked like a picture window with a view of the ocean. Of course, we were in space so I knew that it was simply a projection but still magnificent.
"Have you ever been to the beach, ?" Doctor Rhodes' wife, Esme, walked up beside me. She was an attractive woman, she looked more like Halen’s older sister then his mother. She was also out of her husband’s league, but then again they were scientists. I didn’t meet many attractive ones, except Halen. Maybe his father had been an attractive younger man.
"No, we were always going to go as a family vacation, but we never made it. It's beautiful." I told her as I looked at the projection. Halen seemed to have disappeared from my side, as one of the researchers took the cart from me and started to make drinks.
"We took a video and then projected it onto the wall. You can't see but Halen is just off the screen to the left playing in the sand. He was six at the time. His favorite vacation by far."
I felt a little guilty, because here I was learning personal information about Halen after we had decided to be just friends. I glanced around searching for him amongst the researchers. I saw him staring at me quietly while leaning against the mantle. Naturally it wasn't a real fireplace but it still encouraged a warm feeling in the room.
"This is quite a room, Dr. Rhodes." When I noticed she had caught me looking at Halen.
"Please, call me Esme." That will be easier than Doctor, Doctor, and Doctor Rhodes for sure!
"Esme. It's larger than any I've seen so far." Of course, I never went to the civilian area of the ship, as I never had civilian friends before.
"There are a bunch like it, but my experience is that the military doesn't mix outside of itself, so they never even know these rooms are here. We have three bedrooms upstairs. One is for Halen in case he wants to stay over."
"Why would he stay over if he has his own rooms?" I wondered aloud, though I was secretly jealous of the fact that they were given a second story as well. Seemed like a waste of space considering on my ships everything was horizontal.
"I'll tell you a secret if you promise to keep it." She leaned in confidentially, and carefully glanced over at Halen to make sure he wasn’t watching.
"Sure." See? More personal information!
"Halen stays over on holidays because they are his favorite and he doesn't like being alone. He said it’s too depressing."
"Most guys don't admit to even liking the holiday season much less wanting to be with family." I was a little surprised because in the lab Halen had exhibited a lot of independence from his parents sometimes going for a whole day without ever speaking to them.
"He's a good son but doesn't always feel comfortable expressing his emotions. We were always busy with projects during his childhood so the only time we really bonded as a family was on our vacations." She sighed, “I’ve always felt bad for the way we raised him, it was selfish. We should have left him on Earth with my parents while we were out searching the universe, but instead we kept him with us.”
I nodded as I listened to her speak in a low voice.
“He grew up being schooled by holograms instead of real teachers with other students. Then while he was playing, he just had himself to play with, since there was only the adult research group nearby. Occasionally, someone else would bring a child and he would have a playmate for a couple of months.”
That explained his awkwardness with the social portion of relationships whether romantic or platonic. Someone else came and asked Esme for some help explaining one of the tests, and I was left to wander around looking at photos on the walls and hopping from conversation to conversation. Since I was the odd man out when it came to professions, most of the conversation was incomprehensible to me. I resigned myself to standing mostly alone near the couch. I heard a tinkling of a fork against glass and we all turned towards Esme.
"There are some hors d'oeuvres on the buffet here and we're going to do spaghetti in twenty minutes or so." People started drifting over to the snacks but I wasn't really that hungry so I hung back. Sinking into the couch I was startled when Halen came and sat next to me.
"I'm waiting for dinner." He told me, when I looked at him questioningly. "My mom's spaghetti is amazing!"
What was with these people and pasta? "Good, I'm glad I'm not filling up beforehand then.”
“You don’t look like you’re having fun.”
I raised my eyebrow at him, “Why do you say that?”
“Been watching you walking around.”
“That’s pretty close to stalking.” I teased, but he didn’t smile back. “Your mom said sometimes you stay here."
"Yeah," Halen looked at me funny, "why?"
"Just making conversation.” I spoke defensively, “Do you get too drunk or something?" I wasn't about to reveal what Esme had told me in confidence.
"I am 'never' too drunk."
"Is that a challenge?" I was ready for some serious drinking, and besides this could bring Halen and me closer. We needed some good experiences to bury the past under.
"You're on!" Halen went and got two bottles of scotch. Holding it up he asked, "You too girly for this?"
"You going to quit talking and pour?" I sat forward on the couch and placed my now empty glass on the coffee table.
Halen poured a couple of swallows of scotch into each of our glasses and we both raced to slam them back. Eyes and throat burning I raised my glass signaling a refill. His eyebrows simply arched and he complied.
Edited by Bursillys
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